My little brother is only 4, he'll be five the 22nd. Our mom passed in Nov and he really didn't understand it. He knew about the whoel dying thing but he still thinks my mom is coming back. I don't want to sound like a bad sister and say " mommy is never coming back" he said he doesn't understand why she left again On christmas the year before, my mom left us because my parents got into a fight) It's hard not to cry to see your little brother praying out mom not to come home. I take care of him with my boyfriend together, our dads pretty much a dead beat so I have to be the one to tell him. He's a boy so I dont think he wnats to hear mushy stuff, any help, pleae?
2007-07-14 09:45:28 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
just keep good memories of mom in his mind so he doesn't forget her and in time he will understand. you may even have to have the death talk. take him to the grave and explain to him that she is in a better place. he will understand sooner or later. only time will do this for him. my condolences......bK
2007-07-14 09:49:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Katie -- this is a direct quote from a website -- hope it helps you
Until kids are about 5 or 6 years old, their view of the world is very literal. So it's a good idea to explain the death in terms that are basic and concrete. If the person was ill or elderly, for example, you might explain that the person's body wasn't working anymore and the doctors couldn't fix it. If the person dies suddenly, like in an accident, you might explain what happened - that because of this very sad event, the person's body stopped working. You may have to explain that "dying" or "dead" means that the body stopped working.
Kids this young often have a hard time understanding that all people and living things eventually die, and that once a person dies, it's final and that person isn't coming back. So even after you've gone through this explanation, your child may continue to ask where the person is or when the person is returning. As frustrating as this may be for you, continue to calmly reiterate, in concrete terms, that the person has died and can't come back, and that your child won't be seeing him or her again.
Avoid using euphemisms, like telling your child that the person who died just "went away" or "went to sleep" or even that your family "lost" the person. Because young kids think so literally, such phrases might inadvertently make your child afraid to go to sleep or fearful whenever someone goes away.
By the same token, remember that your child's questions may sound much deeper than they actually are. For example, a 5-year-old who asks where a person who died is now probably isn't asking whether there's an afterlife. Rather, the child might be satisfied hearing that the person who died is now in the cemetery. This may also be a time to share your beliefs about an afterlife or heaven if that is part of your belief system.
Good luck and I am sorry for you and your family. It is always hard to lose a loved one. God Bless you all.
2007-07-14 10:09:27 · answer #2 · answered by D B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, thats hard. I know you think it would mean to tell him she's never coming back, but she isn't and the longer you put off telling him that, the harder it'll be when he finally understands. Maybe look for some books that help kids deal with loss. I don't have any answers, I'm sure no one out there can tell you exactly what to say, but I think you should trust yourself and know that you will know the right thing to say. But he has to start moving on with his life, even at 4 years old.
I'd also like to say that I am sorry for your own loss and I congratulate you for taking on your brother. Be proud of yourself and love your brother, thats the best you can do for him.
2007-07-14 09:51:37 · answer #3 · answered by inoty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult responsibility for anyone. Your brother, at four, wouldn't digest "mushy stuff" anymore then he will digest the truth, which even many adults have a hard time integrating. May I suggest that you pray with him. Echo his words, and add your own. An example: "Eddie wants you to send my mother home, but if you can't, please put a blanket around her and give her a hug from both of us. Let her know that we are safe and will always love her." Help him deal with her being gone on a daily basis. Permanence is a remote concept.....with time, wishing his Mother well will override his need for her to return.....Stay Strong and Loving As You Are --- Madison from: i-need-help-please@yahoogroups.com
2007-07-14 10:07:54 · answer #4 · answered by madisonfoxe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People tend to focus on your visible (external) aspects instead of your inner ones. If you show no self pity towards yourself the rest of the world will follow. You may have a justifiable reason to feel unhappy, but it will only compound your problem. You can begin by learning to help others, maybe as a volunteer in a community effort or your church. Helping others also helps ourselves because we realize that kindness, patience tolerance and acceptance go a long way. Get involved in helping others in worse shape than yourself, and you will find that people will look at you and see the inner you rather than the outer you. Never feel sorry for yourself or the way you look, especially if you did nothing to merit them.
2016-05-17 21:33:43 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know that his mommy is never coming back because she's in a better place, but she loves him very much and watches over him, and that he'll see her again one day. I'm so sorry you have to go through this :(
2007-07-14 09:52:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have any sort of faith experience you can tell him
Mummy has gone home to be with God in Heaven.
And while this time of separation is very hard for him,
Mummy needed to find a happy place with God.
She loved him very much, but could not take him with her.
Because he still has so much of this life to live.
But she's watching out for him, & loves him a lot.
2007-07-14 09:53:37 · answer #7 · answered by Robert S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to take his mind of the fact that his moms gone take him to the movies or the park and spend tim with family too that really helped me out a lot.
2007-07-14 09:51:21 · answer #8 · answered by ...BLANK... 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that his mom passed away into the heavens where God will take care of her and one day you and him will meet her again and be happy. Dont worry about crying its an emotional time for u and your brother to share together
2007-07-14 09:49:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that your mom is in a better place, but she'll always be with him, watching over him. It's hard to know how kids will react to things like this, but hopefully this helps... Sorry i can't really give you any advice, i wish i could do better. I am sorry, :'(
2007-07-14 09:50:19 · answer #10 · answered by ♥ Lil love lady ♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋