Whom do you blame more, your mother or your father?

Question

Sometimes, when things aren't going well, we look to blame. Sometimes, we go to our childhood and blame that.
Which parent do you most blame for your problems, when you're in that mood?
And if you care to say, which parent do you give the most credit to for the good in you and your life, as well?

Wow, you are all being so helpful and thoughtful.

One Note: PEOPLE DO BLAME. It's sad, but this is often called, THE AGE OF BLAME; it is a subject of much scholarly writing. There's the ABUSE EXCUSE, as well, that goes with all this.

I'll give an outrageous example of unfair "blame" that angers me:
It was a full page for Clinique, a product that "erases wrinkles."
It stated the things that makes one wrinkle, okay? Are you with me?

This was a WOMAN's magazine, a WOMAN's cosmetic--
It said, "the sun, aging, your diet, your genes (thanks mom)," and more to explain why we get wrinkles.
THANKS MOM???? Uh, you don't have any of your dad's genes; he couldn't possibly be part of your genetic make-up that affects your skin....????
SAD.....

See? This is exactly what I mean. Please don't feel picked out; the Clinique add says it all, but one of you just wrote:
" I thank my mom that I got her brains and curse her for letting me get my dad's bad habits and looks."
MOM gets CURSED for the bad her DAD gave her????
Why isn't Mom simply thanked and Dad, cursed, in this case? (I see my next question coming on.... Hmmmmmm.)

Because this is a poll or survey, and because I care, I want to make a summation. It's a paltry one, because of overlap.

People who blame themselves: 2

People who blame Mom 4
Dad 3

People who credit Mom 3
Dad 2

People who blame both 1
Blame to other 1
No blame 2

Credit to single parent or other 0
No credit 2
credit both 2


I hope this is as interesting to you as to me, and what's really interesting, if you look at the same question under "Family," you will get an entirely different picture.

Hmmmmm. This is grist for a magazine article; much more is to be learned.

Answer 1

In the beginning I blamed both. Now I blame neither. Not really anyway. My parents screwed up royally. Both were alcoholics and drug addicts. Both were abusing in more ways than just one. But in the end after much sole searching I finally let it go. Yes they messed up, but they learned that behavior from their own parents and while that doesn't condone it at all whatsoever it does make it a little easier to understand on a more logical level. I love both of my parents. I hate what they did, I hate the actions they pretrayed. But I love them as people because I honestly believe they didn't totally understand what they were doing. They may not have done the best they could, but they did teach me to do the best I could. I am now 6 weeks pregnant with my first child. I'm 28 and I spent so long not wanting to be a mother because I was so afraid I would hurt my child in one way or another. I won't, not because my parents showed me what to do, but because they showed me what NOT to do.

Answer 2

I am most angry at Da, however, I believe they are equally stupid. Do I blame a person for their stupidity? Determinately not. The most good? Hmmmm. Insufficient memory, but I was more likely to get some kind of philosophical dialog between he and others. I would simply observe. Logic from Da, music from Ma. The two combined is scientific activity.

Answer 3

You recognize finally the one character you fairly can blame is your self. You can shell out blame for being a fairly dangerous dad or mum however when you become aware of proper from flawed, no person goes to care approximately your mother or your dad...they will care approximately your movements. Now giving credit score is one more tale.

Answer 4

Blame both, 50% dna from mom and 50% dna father. Genetics makes up half of what you end up being, so each parent gets 25% blame. The rest is up to everyone else. :)

Answer 5

My mom gets all the credit since I only met my loser alcoholic father once when I was 18. He's died since. I dont blame him. I take blame for my wrongdoings because I can think for myself, but my mom did raise me to have a conscious and high morals

Answer 6

Blame my mother for anything bad. Dad's perfect just the way he is! He was also a tremendous parent, teacher, confidante and source of encouragement growing up. My mother continues to be the exact opposite of him.

Answer 7

It wasn't easy growing up (plenty of mistakes were made, well-intentioned mistakes I'm sure). I don't blame either of my parents when things don't go well. After a certain point, you just have to shoulder responsibility yourself, and realize that your parents for their many failings are just human. It would be easier to blame someone, but my life is ultimately made up of my own choices.

Answer 8

Dad mostly. He had a rough time during WW2 and a lot of health issues. Both of them drank too much. I'm sure that they did the best that they knew how to.

After all these years, it really doesn't matter anymore.

Answer 9

They both deserve credit or discredit for the act of sheer neglible stupidity that resulted in my birth - - - - but Dad gets the Lion Share of the blame for being a short fat bald schizophrenic loony - - - -

Pax---------------

Answer 10

I thank my mom that I got her brains and curse her for letting me get my dad's bad habits and looks.