Her husband always gets her pregnant & he waits until she gets pregnant to beat her up & then leave her & cheat on her for young teenage girls & set her up to get raped by his friends during each pregnancy because he's using her past rape situations against her. Yes she was repeatedly raped in the past. & then she complains about how he does her wrong, & she takes him back. When she takes him back, she tries to hide away from people because she's afraid that we're gonna think negatively of her or call her stupid. She just had a baby, & I just found out that she took him back, after she said she promised she'd never take him back again. & he got her in all kinds of trouble, & she keeps forgiving him, but she holds a lifelong grudge against her own family, especially me, just behind false rumors my family has made against me. Why does she keep taking him back? If he doesn't kill her, he'll set somebody else up to do it. He already hit her upside the head with a wrench while pregnant.
2007-07-14 08:35:49 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
cause shes afraid of being lonley
i been there before
2007-07-14 18:56:31 · answer #1 · answered by *Jenn* 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pretty appalling this collection of answers from people based on the information you provided. People have assumed you and the children are being abused, for all we know it may be the exact opposite and in fact you maybe the one who is abusive and controlling. I'm not sure is this guy a criminal or the father? Care to elaborate on the above? You are still married, so there is no custody agreement. It sounds like your husband wanted to take a trip with you and the kids to visit his parents. He should of given you more notice I agree, but other then that there is nothing you can do other then file for divorce if your relationship does not seem to have any future. If it's longer then the agreed upon time of 3 days, I would contact the police to get some advise. If there is any abuse, document and call the police if you feel you and the children are in any danger. You constant references to your children as YOUR children should actually be our children. He is the father and they are his children too. If you divorce then shared parenting is in the best interests of the children for two present, able and fit parents. Good luck.
2016-05-17 21:15:16 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because she's become addicted to her emotions where he's become the drug that has thrown her into a self defacing living hell. Since he's already killed her soul you're quite correct that it's a matter of time before he murders her physical being as well. Just like any addict she will always try to get the "fix" that she feels she needs and will always return to the source of this addiction. The source just happens to be this monster/husband who has robbed her of her will to live without him and will manipulate her to turn against anyone or anything that would come between them. The way you describe this mess the only way that you could help your sister is to get her away from this creep and put her somewhere that he can't get at her. You may want to explore the legal options as assault and physical violence come into play. Still it's her call to press charges and the way her mind has been taken over by him the odds of that happening are slim to nil. This is just a rough scenario as to the why of the situation. How to deal with it is a painful ordeal where you may feel helpless and in the end are subjected to clean up after the fallout when she has lost everything .
2007-07-14 09:25:21 · answer #3 · answered by quantumview 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has some type of hold over her. Perhaps she is afraid to leave him for good.
Talk with her about going through one of those programs where other people help abused women and children get a new identity. It is a hard thing to do but that may be the only way she can get away from him.
Personally I would take a wrench upside his woman beating head and he wouldn't be able to do it again. However I do come from an Italian family and perhaps that wouldn't be the answer for everyone...
2007-07-14 08:46:25 · answer #4 · answered by Patti C 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OMG! First of all, it is imperative that she get out of that situation & fast. Her safety & her children's safety depend on it. If you firmly believe, at any time, that she is in imminent danger, call the police. They can lock up her husband, if only for a short time & she can get a restraining order. They should also be able to give referrals to safe houses or other agencies that can help. Then, she needs to divorce him.
There's a definite pattern here, one that's all too common. Your sister obviously has low self esteem & probably thinks she doesn't deserve any better. She has to break out of this pattern or she'll end up in one abusive relationship after another. No doubt she'll need a lot of counselling for this.
This is also an opportunity to reconcile with your sister. She may resist your efforts at first, but let her know you love her & that you're there for her. She needs you now more than ever, whether she'll admit it or not.
Here'a link to a site that can help also.
Good luck & God bless.
2007-07-14 11:30:30 · answer #5 · answered by WillyC 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately abusers build you up, so that you think highly of them and their opinion, and then break you down so that you no longer have any confidence in yourself. They play divide and conquer so that you are divided from your family and friends and they have total control. Once they have you at the point where they can control you easily then they strike again and again. The abusee feels that they are powerless and worthless because that is how they have been conditioned to feel. She knows what is happening is wrong but can't stop it because he has told her that she is stupid and that is why she feels that her family will tell her she is stupid. She is afraid to go to her family for help because she really does feel dumb for allowing it to happen but she can't see a clear way out. It really is a downward cyclonic vicious cycle that keeps her there. She needs to know that she is not in it alone and that her life and her child's life is worth more than that. She needs to know that she is loved and that you understand that she is not able to think clearly sometimes but that does not make her stupid. Go to your local WAVI (Working Against Violence Inc.) shelter and inquire about their services and what needs to happen to help her to get out of her situation. Once she is out she will need intensive counseling to help her to see that the environment she was in was very bad. Basically she needs to be un-brainwashed. This will take a very long time to accomplish and she will feel the need to try to back step several times before she can move on. Hopefully she can get the help that she needs before it is too late for her and her child. Good Luck.
2007-07-14 08:55:47 · answer #6 · answered by firemouse23 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay well this is a really bad situation. Im in an abuseive relationship right now and its hard for someone that hasnt been in one to understand. But basiclly despite all the horrible things he says and the pain he causes...he always appoligizes in a way that makes you come back and think he'll change. This type of guy is out there and ready to strick girls and mold them into the kind of girl they want. The huge problem is that its hard to get out of this type of relationhip. i just hope you can support her as much as you can through this because its really hard to deal with
2007-07-14 08:42:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
They say love is blind, but how blind??, men who abuse their wives are less than notting, am 37 yrs, married with three kids boys. i was listening to Billy Oraily a couple of days ago , he was talking about the wrestler that killed his wife and kid and other related crime by so called loved ones, i was really impressed.The point he made which am trying to equally make here is that the victims always see it coming yet they choose to stay , all in the name of love and eventually they get it by being killed or maimed.
You sister is living dangerously tell her
"GET OUT NOW" before its late. your family should see this whole thing from your perspective am sure they will understand you better. pls keep praying for her safety and her kids. This should be an eye opener to those whose fall in love with drug users and abusers.
2007-07-14 09:06:49 · answer #8 · answered by paul lawence5050 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm trying to work up sympathy for your sister, but I'm having a real hard time with it. My inclination is to say that she seems determined to be part of Darwin's toll.
Here's the problem with that view: Natural selection is supposed to select those genes that best equip us to survive. She is successfully reproducing, and to an impressive degree, it would seem. He is passing on male genes for abusive, insensitive, misogynist behavior, and she is passing on female genes for codependence and attraction to troglodytes.
(Myrra, you are contributing in the same way.)
God help us all.
2007-07-14 08:43:43 · answer #9 · answered by Diminati 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's because they were together and he knows just what to say to get what he wants.
You have to support her and help her find the strength within herself to say No.
And keep her as far away from him as possible.
2007-07-14 09:06:14 · answer #10 · answered by Shan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if your sister has to self esteem, that is why she's allowing herself to be abused. All you can do is advise her and be there for her. Hopefully she will come to her senses and realize what a bullying idiot her partner is.
2007-07-14 08:39:28 · answer #11 · answered by stinkypinkyteddybear 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋