I have noticed my husband?

Question

I have noticed from bank statements that my husband has withdrawn over $1600 within 2 weeks and nothing to show for it. It is not from bills or gas money as he uses his debit card for it. What could he be doing with the money.....it hasn't been used to buy anything at our home either and we haven't gone out for him to spend it. any suggestions, and no, it's not drugs because he has a heart condition, and it's not gambling because he hates to gamble. Serious replies only please. We have been having marital problems and I would like to think it's not for another woman.

This is his own account I was talking about. He has his, I have mine, I do not hide my expenses. It took me 3 years to get him to have a joint account with him (totally separate from this one) and it is only used to deposit income tax money that we use for insurance on our vehicles and the insurance on the house. All of his statements have disappeared for this year. He has opened mine and looked at them, I have nothing to hide from him.

Answer 1

Seriously.....I had the same problem my ex would withdraw lots of money that I could not account for and turns out he was into paying himself escorts.

Answer 2

Where is the money coming from? Do you both work, or only one of you (and if so, is that you or your husband, and does any of you make significantly more than the other)? I understand your concerns, but if your husband earned that money, I can understand why he may feel that it is his right to withdraw it and only tell you about that if and when you need to know. This is even more true if he is the only, or the main, breadwinner.

Only because you are married, that does not mean that you have to share everything. Many marriages fail precisely because one of the people involved or both needs more freedom. Of course you will have to make sure bills get paid and agree how exactly to do it and from what account, but to save your marriage, you may agree on a way to split finances. For instance, you may want to let his husband have his own bank account that he can use as he pleases, and do the same, and also have a joint account used only for bills and for whatever expenses you both agree about.

If you are having marital problems, feel free to agree with your husband on whatever else you may want to split without getting divorced. For instance, it is better to have separate bedrooms (which is does not have to mean separate sex lives) than to divorce because you like sleeping in your own bed except for the occasional night, or partial night, together. It doesn't have to be the bed issue. It could be anything except your sex life, although if some couples split even that, that's their problem.

If you got married, you are basically compatible as a couple. You just have to learn what and to what extent you like sharing, and when to get off each other's back.

Answer 3

It could be a number of things. That's probably too much for a relationship with another woman, but it could be for something else:
1. Pay off some debts that he has incurred
2. Pay a lawyer to do some work for him
3. Buy something for someone (else)
4. Investments in CD's, stocks, etc.
5. Pick up a gift for you (trip perhaps)
6. Give a friend a loan
7. Payment to do some remodelling
8. An apartment somewhere else.

You might consider asking him about it. You might also look at any other credit cards he might have. He could have run up a debt on one of them

I'm sorry if I haven't taken your worries away. You have a good reason to worry at this point.

Answer 4

my first thought was gambling. you said that he doesn't like to gamble. That is shot down! My next thought would be that he might have loan a friend, a family member (his family) or a co-worker the money without sharing the news with you. If you strike them off the list, my best guess that he bought something for himself. Since you stated that you're having some marital problems and don't know your status in the marital situation. He just might bought some air plane tickets for the two of you. Last and not lease....possible another woman.

Answer 5

large amount of money missing nothing to show for it and yet you wanna think there is not another woman, HMMMMM
if your married that a good deposit for a divorce attorney, moving into own apartment. If everything is okay like you are dreaming it should be well lets say he wants to buy you a new car, a ring, a vacation. HONEY WAKE UP HE IS CHEATIN AND BAD HE THINKS YOU WONT CATCH HIM.
If no secerts why separate accounts then?
It's this serious enough I just really hope there are no children involved!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

There is only one thing that requires cash and i think you and I both know what it is. He doesn't want to leave any paper trails for you to see. By him doing it the way he is,he can make up a believable story. One thing is certain your not going to get the truth from him so there isn't anything you can really do but put up with it or follow him personally i would get a friend and you and her follow him just make sure he doesn't no the car. If you can handle the truth that's what i would do. Be careful because you might not like what you find out about your husband.

Answer 7

Sounds like perhaps your fears are possible... Maybe he's going to strip clubs, maybe he has a girlfriend...it's hard to tell.

I suggest you do a little investigating... Is there any time that is unaccounted for? Does he hang out with the "guys" alot? Has he bought any new clothes or is he spending any more time and effort making himself look nice? Is he working out when he hasn't before? Ask yourself these questions and make a checklist...then you need to follow up. I really mean "follow"...get in your car and tail. Check out the site "manhaters.com" (I know, the name is bad, but there is alot of useful info on cheating husbands and the warning signs and such).

Still, I wouldn't jump to any conclusions right away, not till you have proof of anything. Good luck.

Answer 8

My husband was sending money to a cu*t in the Philippines.
He was having an on line affair with her. If he is on the computer a lot and minimizes the screen every time you come around and has passwords for his email accounts, then you should find out what is going on. Check phone records too for a lot of calls to and from a number that you don't recognize. Check his wallet for bank account numbers for money transfer. Or other clues. Hire a PI to find out what he is really doing. You have the right as his wife to find out what is going on, because cheaters don't tell on them selves you have to be the detective and protect your marriage interests. I would also come right out and ask him what he did with the money, if he refuses to answer you can be guaranteed it is something wrong, one only has to hide sins, not the truth.

Get a key logger, key ghost or a web watcher and find out what he is doing on the computer. You might find the other woman there.

Answer 9

Dear Ang, maybe because of the difficulties you are having you need to do this. Is not revenge or anything, but you need to be ready. Obviously he's getting money out for his own safe, maybe harder times are approaching, but you need to put your money apart, have an account under your mom's or sister's name, just in case a divorce comes, that money is yours not both and don't let anybody know but the person with your money.because yfrom what there is your is half only.
But 1600 in 2 weeks in hell of a money.
I hope I am wrong, but you always need to have money on the site for rainy days & security. Nobody knows about this.
If divorce happens, and it ends, then you can tranfer the money to your name. not before!!

Answer 10

Is this an account that you both share together? Either way, the only way you will find out for sure is to be upfront and ask him where the money is going to. You say you are having marital problems which means you might not want to ask him directly due to some awkwardness but my advice is to just be straight with him. You'll feel better about it.

Answer 11

He paid for plane tickets for a romantic getaway for the two of you. Tell him that you know about it and you are so excited that he cares so much about you and your marriage. Go on and on about how much it means to you that he is wanting to do something so sweet and special and you are looking forward to renewing your feelings for each other. That way, if he did spend the money on something else naughty he will have to do some figuring out how to get it back and actually spend it on a vacation. Then again he could be on the up n up after all.