What to do?

Question

My stepdaughter wrecked my custom made Ferrari.She is 13 and as you can see underaged,so I can't report it.The marrige is barely 6 months old and we are not on goon terms.Her mother doesn't know,because I want to handle it myself.What should I do?

Answer 1

Discuss it with Mom and see if you can come up with a plan together and then bring Ms. "Need for Speed" into the room and let her know what's going down. If Mom defends the kids, REPORT HER.

Good time for her to learn her actions have consequences.

Good Luck!

Spherical

Answer 2

I would tell the mother and discuss it with the both of them on good terms. Yes, it was an irresponsible mistake on the girls part, but she should have some kind of consquence and boundaries.

If you handle it yourself, she might think she can get away with something more of a serious nature. I would have a talk with her mom, and then the both of you should address her in a way, where she will not feel as if she has done something so bad.

Set limits and boundaries, tell her she has to learn to respect your property, regardless if she is your stepdaughter. When she learns to respect what you and your wife lay down to her, she may have room to do the things she likes to do.

But, don't let her get away with this one! She has to learn whether she likes it or not. You two are the parents and are taking care of her, if she does not like it, she will just have to wait until she is of age to move out and do what she wants to do..But until then, you and your wife are footing the bills and supporting her.

Teach her a lesson, she will get over it, and respect you for it.

Remember, she is the child and you two are the adults!

Just be calm, but firm, and stick with the type of consequence she will have to deal with. She will think twice about doing something she ought not to do the next time an idea pops into her mind..

Best of luck!

Answer 3

Her mother should definitely know. You can't handle this yourself because 1) you are NOT on good terms already and 2) her mother needs to know how bad her daughter's judgement has been.
Try not to let it turn into a full-blown crisis with your wife and step-daughter. Back off and let your wife do most of the talking. Of course you're not going to act like it's a small thing but you can stress how serious this is - at her age, your stepdaughter can't even conceive of how long it would take to work to buy such a thing. So don't try to make her understand the money at this point. And don't make it such a big thing that secretly she can gloat over the fact that she ruined a prized possession.
This should not be a secret from your wife!

Answer 4

first of all you have got to tell mom. Obviously there has been some gap in time since it happened. This is moms child and your hiding some pretty serious stuff from her. You're in a new marriage and marriage should be about communication. Are you trying to make brownie points with the daughter? I think you would be a much better role model if the two of you would tell mom together. Also try to remember that 13 is a very awkward age. They're starting to mature so much but yet they still get that little girl train of thought . I'm hoping that this 13 year old has no negative history. And good luck on your marriage and step children

Answer 5

Did she steal the car or did you let her drive it? If she stole it, you have a disiplin problem that will not go away if you don't address it. 1, tell her mother! 2, punish her. You are her father figure now. You can not let something like that slide just to get on her good side. It will only lead to bigger problems later. She must fear and respect you, she doesn't have to love/like you. And you shouldn't keep secrets of this caliber from your wife. That's no way to start off a new marriage. If you let her borrow the car, then that's what you get for loaning a Ferrari to a 13 year old!

Answer 6

You're kidding right? An adult who can afford a Ferrari knows how to write and spell. And if you don't - you didn't need the car in the first place - you needed an education.

If this is the kid that did it - owe up to it and take your punishment. You knew better and screwed it up. Now you have to face the consquences. It's a big learning experience.

Also - you can report it to the insurance company. If you didn't give permission for the kid to drive it, it's covered under "uninsured" and/or "theft". Juvenile Hall - here you come.

Answer 7

Is this a one time thing or does she have a habit of irresponsible, reckless and/or illegal behavior.

If it's a one time thing & you can afford to, take the loss. Pay for the repairs yourself or get rid of the wrecked car. if you can't afford to take the loss, you'll have to come out with the truth because to not do so will be fraud and false testimony.

If it's a habit or pattern, this girl needs help & it sounds like getting the police involved will be the best thing. You might kiss your relationship goodbye, but getting her help is important.

Talk to your wife about this immediately.

Answer 8

If you let this child get away with this, what will she try to get away with in the future? You should discuss this issue with her mother and make her pay the price, no matter what the price may be (grounding, working it off, whatever you decide together with the mother). I am so sorry this happened to you, especially with a minor. This child must need some real help so this never happens again.

Answer 9

Tell your wife. It is always better to discuss the situation with each other then agree on a punishment. If not the children learn to manipulate you to their advantage. Teenagers are hard to handle because they have high emotion ranges. You will only cause problems between you and your wife if you handle this alone. Trust me.

Answer 10

the best thing to do coming from a mother of children and my husband is not there father, sit the 13 yr old down explain to her look I'm not taking your fathers place but just loving your mother and you, you know what you've done was wrong but I'm going to give you the chance to tell your mother cause I'm not going to snitch but if she asks I will tell her to come to you.
The girl thinks if she gets ride of you her family will be back together has anyone asked her how she felt bout mommy getting re-married? My husband went threw HELL and back with my girls but now they are best of friends because he sat down and spoke to them as a person not a child and he asked them for there input on alot of stuff also it took him a good 1 1/2yrs. to get there trust to her you are the bad guy. Just talk to her take her to the park McDonalds ice cream shop the mall she got alot of stuff going on and alot of it could be her hormones kicking in, the fact she has a new man in the house, stress from her real father, school not meaning to talk your ear off but we've been there and in time you too will become best of friends it all depends on how you handle it..
Great of luck to you!!