about a yr. ago a friend invited me to a once a mo. dinner out w her friends from work. Everyone was nice,but I just wasn't having fun and wanted it to end. My friend seemed to get upset if I tried to cancel so I kept it up. 2 mos ago she and I and another friend had dinner out,and the next nite would have been our usual "girl's nite out". I left a message on my friend's phone saying if we were going out 1 nite I thought I would take a break the next nite as I was low on funds-that was a white lie -I just wanted a break and used that as an excuse.Anyway when we went out to eat(the 3 of us) at the end my friend said "I want you to come out tomorrow nite-so I am paying for you-she actually picked up the whole tab. I said "no- I just can't go out"-I never wanted her to pay for my meal that nite,and I am mad that she just would not take the hint that I just wanted a break. Should she be mad at me? I should have been honest,but she made it hard .
2007-07-14 06:36:32 · 18 answers · asked by ignatzy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Friendship is based on trust and honesty. if you can't be honest her what find of friend is she? What kind of friend are you?
2007-07-14 06:39:15 · answer #1 · answered by Nicktacular 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use some thinking outside the box.
Most people will answer you with pure opinion about this situation. It has been learned over and over, by people who eventually write books about it, that relationships based on anything other than you recognizing your own value while acknowledging someone else's are doomed to end in regret.
The No 1 success in relationships that go from you and her to global confrontation is Dr. Stephen Covey. He wrote the book "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People".
He has assembled what is true about friendship, business, joy and loss from many sources. It all leads to not being in a box. It is better to dissolve the box. The way you do that is to be self and other respecting and to realize that there is not always agreement and you have to decide how severe that is.
2007-07-17 22:11:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a hard situation I know you dont want to lose your friend, but you need to set some limitations with her. You are an adult and if you dont want to do the go out thing dont make any excuses just let her know you dont want to go and need some rest. There is nothing wrong with being honest. If she is a true friend she will understand and back off.
2007-07-14 13:42:50 · answer #3 · answered by blackpearl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have been honest from the beginning. None of this would have happened. I'm sure your friends would have understood, especially if she was generous enough to pick up the tab when she thought you had no money.
2007-07-14 13:43:19 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think everyone needs their alone time, so I wouldn't feel bad if I were you. Just in the future maybe be more upfront like ah I think I need one of those vegging in front of the tv nights to myself but next girls night out I'll see ya, have fun! I had to do this w/my boyfriend actually because he wanted to spend just about every day together and I couldn't handle it, I couldn't handle it w/anyone I need to be alone (or even w/diff. ppl sometimes and I don't think that makes me evil).
2007-07-14 13:41:56 · answer #5 · answered by freespiritede1986 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should have just told you dont have a good time with her friends and let her get madat you and it would be over by the next week of course you should tell her you like hangin with her just not the people from work and leave it at that and trust me she got the hint she prob doesnt like the girls either thats why she drags you along with her
2007-07-14 13:42:39 · answer #6 · answered by mother to Eva Nicole 4/25/08 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one should really force you to do anything that you do not want to do. You just have to be honest with your friend, and tell her that you really do not enjoy going out with them. If you don't tell her, she would never know how you feel right? I don't see any reason why she would be upset with you. She obviously just wants your company, that's why she is tagging you along.
2007-07-14 13:44:07 · answer #7 · answered by always51787 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being dishonest about it is just going to come back and bite you in the a$$ in the long run. Just tell your friend that you are worn out and just need some time for yourself. Tell her that it's not because you don't like hanging out with her, you just need to take some time for yourself, BY yourself.
2007-07-14 13:41:05 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Raven 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You lied to her and she did what any good friend would do, she offered to pay your way because you told her you were hitting hard times and she felt it was kind of her to do what she did. This situation is your fault, she has nothing to be sorry for, you should have been truthful with her.
2007-07-14 13:40:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What hint? You said you were broke, she wanted you there so she offered to pay. You gave her no hint, you lied. If you don't want to go just tell her you want to stay home that night.
2007-07-14 13:39:27 · answer #10 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋