i honestly don't know what to do anymore. his parents are getting a divorice after his dad had an affair, and he has changed so much since the guy i met in the first place. he says he's confused, and i believe him. he can't read anymore without thinking about it, he doesn't want to get out of the house, and worst for me, is that he told me that he doesn't love me as much as he used to because of this. -but he does still love me. (that i'm positive of.)
i told him that we should have a relationship that is very, very loose, one with no obligations or requirements. i told him that i am here, no matter what.. but he doesn't want to talk to anyone.
the thing is, he can't go on any meds or anything because he's leaving for the navy in a month and a half.. that's why he's so stressed.
is there any way- and ideas that i can do just to help him out, or get him to cheer up for just a bit? i'm worried sick about him..
thanks. =\
2007-07-14 06:25:59 · 20 answers · asked by F-22's are sexy! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i about cried when i read all the answers, just because i know how much i really can't do.. i'm going to make his favorite cookies, and it'll be hard, but i think i'm going to leave him alone- no communication for one week. it might help. then they day after, we'll go to hershey park.. i think it sounds okay..
thank you so much. :*)
2007-07-14 06:42:25 · update #1
It seems like you are already doing the best thing you can do for him. Being there for him and sticking by him is ALL you can do. My parents got divorced and I understand his pain. Its confusing, upsetting and and upheaval of you whole life as you know it. There is nothing anyone could have said or done to make it better...he just has to work through it and learn to accept it which takes a long time. You should be careful not to sacrifice your feelings or change the relationship altogether to suit him. Even though he's in pain, you should not have to be the one he takes it out on. If you are that intent on seeing it through, just do what you're doing and let him know you're always there for him.
2007-07-14 06:39:46 · answer #1 · answered by mickeymel9 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The poor guy was already stressed about leaving for the navy and now this on top of everything. Is it any wonder he feels the way he does.
If you drive I would offer to go on long drives together. This will divert him from his thoughts from the safety of a car where he will feel he has a barrier between him and the world.
It sound like he is feeling numb to his emotions right now and trying to push everything that he considered good out of his life. He is lucky to have you by his side. He may not realize this yet but one day he will. Just be by his side, try not to force him into anything. The frightened child inside of him is running scared and has taken over his emotions. He requires your patience and understanding. Good Luck!
2007-07-14 06:36:54 · answer #2 · answered by Melly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just stick by him, he'll thank you for it later. I went through the same thing, my parents got a divorce, and my relationship fell apart. So the idea that your relationship doesn't need any requirements and is loose is a great idea right now. Give him space and time to think.
2007-07-14 06:30:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds cheesy,but buy him flowers and chocolate,take him to the park at night and watch the stars,take him to see a movie and end the night with milkshakes. The stuff he normally does for you. He'll appreciate being there for him,but ALWAYS tell him,"I'm here if you need to talk." Don't just say it,mean it.
2007-07-14 06:29:46 · answer #4 · answered by Annie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well just leave him alone 4 awhile,
give him some time he will get over it.
iv had the same exact problem
and i left him alone 4 a week and he missed me
calling and seeing him
he will miss u and want u
2cheer him up,
bake him some cookies
and bring them 2 him i say chocolate chip is always good
2007-07-14 06:31:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing, I'm so sorry!! It sounds like you've done pretty much all you can-you've told him not to worry about your relationship, there's no pressure, and that you're there to talk. You can't do much else.
P.S. The fact that he says he doesn't love you anymore is bullsh*t-he's just hurting, and can't discern one emotion from another. Don't worry. :]
2007-07-14 06:30:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be a friend to him.. right now what he needs is a real friend. If he doesn't want you as a lover, then be a friend for a while. He's confuse and don't confuse him much more.
If he wants to be alone, then give him that space he's asking for. Just be there if he needs you and pray for him ofcourse..
2007-07-14 06:33:53 · answer #7 · answered by GirL next door 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's 18, not 9. Tell him to grow up. He should know by now, and by personal experience, that sometimes relationships just don't work out.
2007-07-14 06:29:37 · answer #8 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i wish there was something you could do for him, but honestly it's just something that will get better with time.. no one wants to see their parents split up and no one wants to know that their hero(dad) cheated on their mother whom gave birth to them.. he just needs to know that what happened between his parents wasn't his fault and it happens.. not everyone stays in love forever.. he should be happy that they both love him and that they are still in his life.. what about people who lose their parents to very sick illness's or in an accident.. they seem to be able to move on.. just because their love stopped doesn't mean his life does.. tell him to be a bigger man then his father and complete things that he couldn't.. things will get better i promise, but i just dont' know how soon.. good luck and very best wishes!
2007-07-14 06:34:08 · answer #9 · answered by ~broken~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him about some bright sides of life - like the ones was reason for the break up
2007-07-14 06:32:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋