Jewish husband freaking out over...?

Question

Okay i have been married 3 yrs now and its been an extremely rock road.I dated my husband for 2.5 yrs during college it was love at first sight whem we first met and case of polar opposites attracting.I am Catholic and he is Jewish but we also have very different mind sets on how things should be done,how the world works, situations handled,family values,and morals(he is conservative/i am more open minded)Our problems started after our son (unplanned)who is almost 3 yrs old now was born and i refused to convert to juadism.My husband wanted our son to be circumsized and i said NO! We fight non -stop on how our son should be raised.My husband wanted our son to be brought up Jewish and i wanted to teach him about both religions.So as to let my son descide when he was older what religion he wanted to follow.After a year of seperation my husband has moved back into our home it took a week but now we are back to fighting this time because we found out my great gran dad was a Nazi?

I should also mention i am a Latina with mixed European backround.I was just doing research on my family out of intrest and to help younger cousin on her school project.Also i understand my husbands family has 3 memebers that survived concentration camps but that has nothing to do with me!

Been in counceling 3 times it did not help

Answer 1

wow, well different religions will clash, and ok im not going to be very PC now but, i think that when getting married and planning to spend a long time together, somethings gotta give, because 2 religions cant work, also your husband needs to get over the nazi thing, we should all learn from that atrocity, but we should move on and not use it as an excuse in todays society.

Answer 2

So what is the big problem? You both sound childish and petty. What was so wrong with allowing your son to be circumcised it it would have made your husband happy. It would have appeased his religious feelings and it would not have harmed your son. I agree with you that he should have been taught about both religions so he can choose when he gets older. Could it be that your husband said no just to get back at you? Why on god's green earth would you tell your husband your great gran was a Nazi? Did he really have to know that or were you just trying to hurt him a little more? Why would he be upset over what you can not control or change? These are things the two of you should have discussed when you were dating and especially after finding out you were pregnant. It sounds to me as if you are trying to make you husband appear fanatical and uncompromising but you come off looking the same. I would suggest you get some couples counseling by someone who is neither Catholic or Jewish so you both can learn how to compromise and not destroy your son.

Answer 3

I don't think it matters that your great grandpa was a Nazi. That has no reflection on your character and it is sad your husband would even think that way.

As far as the whole circumcision issue, that is a major issue in the Christian/Catholic church! Some believe Old Testament laws are all null and avoid, but I think that is a dangerous idea. I personally believe boys are to be circumcised, but Paul wrote in the New Testament that is should not be a divisive issue (he told Timothy to get circumcised as a man-- ouch!). Religious issues aside, I have read that studies show circumcised men have a smaller chance of getting HPV and the like. But that debate also rages on. Hope I could help.

Answer 4

First things first, circumcision is strictly religous, studies show there is no medical reason to require circumcision. Stick your ground on that one.

Second, you can raise your son in a Jewish environment all you want, but the mother decides the religion, if you are catholic, then so is he, unless he converts when he is older, he is not 'half Jewish', he is not Jewish period.

I married a christian and had two sons, one follws Judaism, the other Christianity, both were exposed to both religions throughout their youth, they chose when they were old enough to.

If counseling has failed, and all you do is fight non stop (over something that your ancestors did), then it may be time to call it a day, accept that things will nto get better and move on.

Answer 5

Kids don't know how to judge until they turn 12-13. That's why, with rare exceptions, kids are either taught the religion when they are young or they will grow up without one.

This is the result of putting too much love ahead of rational discussions when you were first in love. Some talk show hosts discourage such marriages simply for that reason --- when there is a child and nobody wants to yield. There is no win/win solutions, unfortunately. And that your great grandfather is a Nazi has no bearing in this matter.

Answer 6

Do you hear yourself? You are so silly. You are fighting about a grandfather.. no a great grandfather that has nothing to do with you or him. You can control what family you were born into or what they did in their lives. Those were their decisions. This fight is just an excuse for your underlying issues.

Interfaith marriages almost never work because faith is a foundational world perspective and point of view. You both need to get into counselling quickly if you want to be able to make this work.

If you're so open minded, why don't you consider his faith more seriously?

Answer 7

I will repeat the obvious, you are not your grand father. If your husband was well versed into his own culture he would know that your grand father was probably a young soldier at the time and was forced into serving Hitler as all other young men then. If your husband wants to be this stupid! maybe you're better off without him. Succeeding at a marriage is not easy to start with so why bother with a man who judge you only on your blood line.

Answer 8

Since you and your son are not Jewish, why not try bringing in the universal Torah laws. They come from the Bible which Catholics also believe came from God.
( http://www.aish.com/wallcam/7_Noachide_Laws.asp )

What your granddad may have done has nothing to do with you. That part is nutty.

But do your kid a favor and have him circumcised. Otherwise you're subjecting him to ridicule later on in the guy's locker room. Circumcision is the healthy choice - both physically and psychologically.

Answer 9

Oh what a tangled web we weave when we first PRACTICE
to ignore our differences.What is your Objection to circumcision any way?Your son is going to go through years of teasing if you don't.As for the other issues,I must confess,they are too hot to handle,the Nazi issue is a deal breaker.Your RESISTANCE confirms his worst fears.Do you see what your family tree would look like if you do not encourage your son to convert?You guys messed up big time and you would need outside intervention for a major clean up.

Answer 10

only let this guy in your home if you can be happy with him there. If your not happy with him there, make him pay child support and he can live out of the house. You are doing the right thing by letting your son choose his religion. When your son gets older he will respect you for that and could be catholic, jew, mormon, or whatever. But do whatever you feel is best.