Am i ready for a baby?

Question

I am 18, my boyfriend is 19...im not saying "right now i want a baby!"...i was just wondering how ya'll did it, did you plan to become a parent young? did you even plan on becoming a parent at all? did you finish school first? have a full time job? were you married??

im sorry if i am getting to personal, i am just curious because I want to have a baby young, and im wondering how it was for you?

thank you!

Answer 1

well my advice would be to finish school, and see how you are then. but i dont plan on having kids till im about 30, so you probably wont like my advice, haha. (i know you dont want a baby right this second) but either way, i still think you should at least wait until you are out of school. because once you have a baby, its not like you can never go out again, but you cant go out every friday night and stuff like you do now, and it will probably make your school and work life hectic. and im guessing youre still having problems with your boyfriend right? you shouldnt have a baby until you are with the person you absolutely love and adore. someone you know you will be with forever. im not saying you and your boyfriend dont love each other, but i think you should see how you guys make it through college first. you should get married and settle down before having a kid. at leats thats my opinion. but i might be a little old fashioned. :)

Answer 2

There is no right time to have a baby. However - certain things previously accomplished in your life can possibly make it easier to deal with. This is my circumstance:

Age 23 - Graduated with my Masters Degree and started my career (This helps with the financial stability of raising a child and securing health insurance)

Age 25 - I got married to my husband who also was finished with school and working (this helps to have a partner on the same page as you when making and enduring life decisions) Personally - marriage is important when having a family - but it does not always determine the type of parent you are nor does it determine how much the parents love the child.

Age 26 - Became pregnant (we weren't planning or not planning, we just let it happen)

My advice to you is make your life as comfortable for you before you involve a mate and a baby. Think about the type of life you are striving for and work towards the things it will involve. Some people wait, some don't - take your time and make sure YOU are where YOU want to be first.

I am glad you are asking this question before hand - Good luck.

Answer 3

YOu can't really plan a baby. It just happens at the right or wrong moment. To me when it happens a child is never a wrong moment unless you're too young. I personally knew I wanted children by 19. But I had my first at age 21 and was married. I would finish school first, because once you have the child, that child is your future, your life, your responsibility. And I'm sure you'd want a good future for him or her. When ever you decide it will be a blessing. SOme see them as a burden, I can honestly say even now in their teen years, they are worth all the effort and they change you for the better. All the ups and downs money wise and everything else is all worth it.

Answer 4

I can totally understand why you would want to be young and have children. That was my way of thinking as well. I had my first child at the age of 21 and not married, but was in a stable relationship. That relationship disolved when our son was 1. Not on a bad note, we remained friends, however, I was a single mother for the next 7 years. I married when my son was 8 and had my next son 3 years later. It is a much happier and stable situation when you are married or know that your relationship will remain in tact. Being a younger parent was a great experience, I just wish I could have had a partner, for my first son. The second time around showed me the difference. In my opinion you are very young. Enjoy life a little longer and the most important thing is to believe that no matter what, married or not, that your relationship is forever.

Answer 5

I was 18 when I got pregnant, had her on my 19th birthday. My pregnancy wasn't planned but it wasn't prevented either and I knew what the risks were and I knew that I was ready to handle it when and if it did happen.
I didn't finish high school but I did get my GED but that was a few years before I got pregnant ( I got my GED when I was 16 with my parents consent ). I was not married at the time, I am married to her father now and we also have another child and both of us did have full time jobs, So I guess both of us having jobs was a plus.
So we both had jobs, I owned a house and we both had cars paid off so we really didn't have a whole lot of bills, just taxes, insurance and utilities.
I think that becoming a parent was the best thing I ever did. It completely changes your life and your outlook on life.

I would just suggest for you to play it by ear. I don't think you always have to live your life in a certain order, like finish high school, go to college, get a carrer then get married, etc. You can do it in any order you want to. So don't ever feel bad if things don't always go as planned.

Answer 6

Firstly- wait until your married. Don't get married just so you can have a baby, but be sure that the father of your children is the one you intend on being with for the rest of your life- divorce or breaking up in a relationship that has born children does not only split up the couple, but the family as a whole is split up as well. Babies do grow up, and the closeness and love in the family has a strong play in how well they grow up, if not the strongest.

Secondly, you should finish school first and be secure in a full time job. You will still be young after four years of college, and having a secure job will be your provision to support your child.

Answer 7

Take your time! Cuz once you are a parent, you are a parent forever! And it isn't an easy task.
Finish school including some college so you can get a job that will allow you to support your child. A happy marriage first would be the more acceptable, responsible way to approach it, and even then, be married awhile before having a child to allow you and your hubby time to just enjoy being a married couple.
Obviously, there's no guarantees in life, but you can make choices that will make your life much easier. Kids are wonderful, but at 18, you need to take time to enjoy your life and have some great experiences before being a mom. Doing so will make you a better mom in the end. Many who have babies young suffer from some resentment later for being tied down at such a young age.

Answer 8

im 23 with 3 kids and pregnant again i find it very hard because my partner and i have so many olans for our future but dont know if there going to be at all possible hes 27 so he doesnt mind having a big family now im glad i have them while im young as when there adults i can go on to have a life of my own but i have days when i feel like im never going to get there i know in the end i will and you will to but i would say if you want a baby but you also want holidays abroad then do the holidays first and the hectic lifestyle because i didnt get this a went through a resenful phase which i regret deeply my first son was born when i was 15 i fell for the i love you crap that every teenage male tries to get you into bed and when he found out i was haveing a baby he ran a mile and even tried to kill me so now i try to balance what i want to do and make sure my kids fit into the equasion there here now and the best thing i ever did i just look forward to when there old enough to have real fun with

good luck and dont be put off by anyone else do what is right for you

Answer 9

GO TO COLLEGE FIRST!! Wait until you are done with school. How long have you been with your bf? Does he feel the same way? I know that at this age you feel older and that you want the family and marriage, but trust me, waiting until you are done with school and finding out more about who you are and what is out in this big world, will make you more mature and evolved.

I love children and was disappointed when my bf at the time and I didn't have children, and he wanted to wait....

Now I am married to someone else, have a child, am thinking about having a second one and am glad that I waited.

Pregnancy is also hard at times. I was in the hospital for a few days with bad morning sickness....Do you have insurance?

I am not saying that you wouldn't be a good mom or that you are not mature, I am just saying that having experienced a pregnancy and child who is now 3 1/2, that there is more to it than you may think, there is more to it then I thought at 18 and at 27 when I had my child.

I hope that you will consider all of your options, babies are a blessing, but a lot of work too!

Answer 10

Well I knew that I wanted to be married before I had my child which I was. I think it is important to have that commitment because children need a stable environment to live in.

I always wanted children, actually wanted 3, but not anymore. We have one and he is a handful so that is probably it.

We are both high school graduates, but neither of us have finished college. I do recommend it because trying to finish school once you have a kid is not easy at all. We both have stable full time positions and if you could stay at home for a while will the baby is first born that's what I would shoot for, at least the first 3-6 months (when they wake in the middle of the night).

For sure though, talk it over with your boyfriend and make sure you are both ready!