my STB Ex-Husband & I have been separated for a few months now. he has a girlfriend who is pregnant, possibly w/his kid. he's been in town for a few days now (he & his gf live in another state), & we've been "secretly" talking on the phone at night and text messaging a LOT. well, last night we sort of slept together. of course last night has to be kept secret from everyone we know. but he says he doesn't want anyone to know yet that we are spending so much time together, & talking on the phone (about a LOT more than out daughter, i might add), & sending dirty little pictures through our cell phones to each other. i understand why he doesn't want it to get back to his gf, but why would he not want ANY of our friends or family to know we are hanging out so much? they ALL know we both want to remain good friends through & after our divorce. I want to tell the world how well we are getting along, but i promised him i wouldn't. why would he not want anyone to know about our FRIENDSHIP???
2007-07-14 04:36:12 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
AFTER the sex, he talked to me for 3 hours about how i'm his best friend, and i'm the only one he feels like he can confide in, and how he doesn't want anything to ever ruin what we have. he says he still loves me, misses me, and cares about me very much. he says he's very torn. yet, he doesn't want anyone to know yet (maybe ever) how he feels about me. he says there's a place in his heart for me that no other woman will EVER be able to replace no matter what.
2007-07-14 04:38:57 · update #1
Lady, you are holding on to a dead relationship. You two are separated, and he's sleeping with another woman- who may be carrying his kid. He's ready to sleep with you, as long as you keep your mouth shut- meaning he wants to keep his girlfriend happy, and keep seeing both of you. That fits your definition of friendship? What constitutes scummy behavior????? I suppose this silliness is OK, IF you feel you aren't worth more. Are you?
2007-07-14 05:56:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Thats pretty messed up no matter how much he says you are special. I mean if you guys have such a lovely relationship and all that now. Then why are you still getting a divorce? And if you are sending dirty texts and pictures and stuff, you would think he would be man enough to end things with the girl friend and come back to his wife and daughter. If the gf is having his kid he can pay child support and what not. But to want to hide the fact he is getting along with his own wife is not cool. I mean seriously to me it sounds like his way of having his cake and eatting it too. Having a gf and the wife both giving him sex. But of course he doesn't want friends and family to really know how low down he is being. Cause he knows if they knew they would tell you to drop his behind for two timing you and the gf. Best to put it to him straight forward that he either is with you or his gf out in the open. Can't have it two ways.
2007-07-14 04:45:40 · answer #2 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is using you!!! He is very insecure and wants to have his cake and eat it too. If you are ever with someone who doesn't want anyone to know about your relationship, friendship or otherwise, that person is not someone you need to associate with. And WHY are you still sleeping with your "soon-to-be-ex"??? Ex-husbands are ex-husbands for a reason. You need to cut your losses and move on. That's the only way you are going to escape this disaster of a relationship. He wants you to be there as a little ego boost when he needs one. Tell him to grow up and then go get yourself a real man, one who will respect and value you, not treat you like a cheap trick.
2007-07-14 04:47:36 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a reason why he is your EX, and the fact that you have been seperated for a few months, and he has a girlfriend, and she is already pregnant, should show you that all he cares about is sex! Men will say and do anything to get it. Stop being a fool and move on! Why else would he not want anyone else to know?!
2007-07-14 04:43:23 · answer #4 · answered by Susan R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, OBVIOUSLY you two are more than "friends", and you know it too...sounds to me like you want to get him back (even though he got another chick pregnant!?!) Don't you think that the fact that he wants to "hide" your "friendship" that is his way of saying that the two of you are def. over? Seems to me that he is using you. Also, if I were you, I would DEF. think that he was cheating on you while you were together...if you only seperated a few months ago, and another chick is pregnant with his child ALREADY, either he moves SUPER fast or he had her (and maybe others?) while you two were still together. In order for you to be mentally HEALTHY in the future, you need to stop ALL contact with him, the only exception being your daughter. You need to let him go.
2007-07-14 04:44:36 · answer #5 · answered by star 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a load of crap! He is playing you for a fool. If he really loved you he wouldn't want to hide it from family and friends. The only person he loves is himself. He may have gotten another woman pregnant for God's sake. Does that sound like he love only you? I THINK NOT!
2007-07-14 04:51:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he doesn't want it because he doesn't want anyone to know what kind of bastard he is. sorry ,my dear, but you are blind.
OK, he is your ex husband, your daughter's father, you love him unconditionally.., but what he is doing is disgusting, mean and awful.
he is selfish, plying with you both. few months passed after divorce and he already has a girlfriend who is pregnant. he maybe made a mistake, but he lost any style. he cannot play with you both. he cannot do such kinds of things to a pregnant woman. he also cannot play with you, asking you to hide it.
wake up or you want to be his toy. you want to share him. he was your husband. i can understand what love is, but can't understand that happiness for being some bastard's toy.
if you want him back, you should be to set the rules and not him.
2007-07-14 04:48:04 · answer #7 · answered by veceras 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you so close to him. Why did you separate in the first place? This is very strange. He might be playing you and his gf at the same time that's why he doesn't want ppl to know what a jerk he is..
2007-07-14 04:52:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because it is more than a friendship!!!! Don't you see?? He still:
A) Loves you
B) Is in lust with you
C) All of the above
He has you as a dirty little secret and now that he cannot stay married to you wants you more.....
your choice though, tell him no more dirty pics and sex or be the "Other" woman for the rest of your life.
2007-07-14 04:43:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok - after sleeping with him it is noooo longer just a friendship. i hate to say it - but it really isnt. i am sure it is a comfort thing for both of you. a friendship or more with your soon to be ex husband can be good in the long run. just becareful it isnt something he intends to continue with out commiting to the relationship.
2007-07-14 04:44:35 · answer #10 · answered by litlbigdg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋