Solutions for a first-week breastfeeding mom getting no sleep and requiring formula to supplement?

Question

Poor mom is getting very little sleep and giving her heart and soul to breastfeeding. She wants her breasts to give the right amount of milk, no more, no less. Her milk came in less than 24 hours ago and is slow, for now. I already understand that La Leche's solution to slow milk is spending plenty of time nursing, and not to worry about milk quantity in most cases. Yet the baby (at 4 days old) is crying unsatisfyingly, even after up to one hour at each breast. Sometimes, she sucks less and mom must give her 1-2 tsp. of water to calm her before trying to breastfeed again. To be honest, we are making a habit of giving her formula for dessert because she roots and won't sleep after 1.5 hours of nursing . She takes an ounce or two of formula and has droopy eyes within 1-2 minutes!

Mom is trying not to use bottles/formula but also the baby is not giving mom even minimally enough sleep. During the past 24 hours, she slept maybe 2.5 hours. Please see my other 3 nursing questions.

Thank you for the wonderful answers, well documented and diverse. The formula was my wife and a lactation consultant's (from La Leche) idea, not mine. Also, two La Leche consultants have confirmed a stellar latch (in person), and I failed to mention this. That said, your responses were complete and wonderful, thank you thank you thank you!

Answer 1

This right here is probably the number one reason women give up breastfeeding. The first two weeks are very very difficult for some babies & mothers.

I know she is tired. I've been there. It WILL get better. Her milk supply is still limited and it will only improve with increasing the number and length of feedings - even if it feels like the baby is constantly at the breast for a few days.

Supplementing with formula is not the best idea - when baby is more satisfied they will sleep longer, nurse less frequently and therefore mom will produce less milk - perpetuating the cycle.

As difficult as it is, things should get better in another couple of days. Mom should take the baby to bed with her if she's comfortable doing that. It's possible that baby isn't really crying because its hungry and is just responding to the stress of this tired mother. Or, perhaps the baby is sucking to soothe rather than feed, and when the breast is taken away she still longs to suck - try a (clean) pinkie finger if you are opposed to introducing a pacifier.

Hang in there!

Answer 2

Honestly you, the husband, are a large part of the problem.

It sounds like she needs better support:

#1 she needs to find a lactation consultant that will work WITH HER. If the lactation consultant isn't working, get another one. A baby that is latching poorly can suck for 24 hours and not get enough milk. Have you even seen a woman from La Leche League or are you just using their web resources. Give them a call they will usually COME TO YOUR HOUSE. Otherwise there are public health nurses, the hospital, private lactation consultants, etc, etc.

#2 She should be learning the difference between DRINKING and SUCKING. Some babies just need to suck a LOT. They want the boob 24/7 in the begining, which is fine.

#3 She needs to learn to nurse lying down -SAFELY

#4 You're home, right? At least some of the day? At least 12 hours right? You have to take the baby and let her sleep, at least a couple of hours.

FORMULA is not the answer, and pushing it on your wife is only making her feel worse and have a harder time. Get your wife the help she needs, and you give her the support she needs.

http://www.kellymom.com/newman/11some_bf_myths.html#3
3. There is no (not enough) milk during the first 3 or 4 days after birth.

Not true! It often seems like that because the baby is not latched on properly and therefore is unable to get the milk that is available. When there is not a lot of milk (as there is not, normally, in the first few days), the baby must be well latched on in order to get the milk. This accounts for "but he's been on the breast for 2 hours and is still hungry when I take him off". By not latching on well, the baby is unable to get the mother's first milk, called colostrum. Anyone who suggests you pump your milk to know how much colostrum there is, does not understand breastfeeding, and should be politely ignored. Once the mother's milk is abundant, a baby can latch on poorly and still may get plenty of milk.

When Latching
http://www.kellymom.com/newman/a-when_latching.html

Latching and Positioning Resources
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/basics/latch-resources.html




http://www.kellymom.com/newman/11some_bf_myths.html#1
1. Many women do not produce enough milk.

Not true! The vast majority of women produce more than enough milk. Indeed, an overabundance of milk is common. Most babies that gain too slowly, or lose weight, do so not because the mother does not have enough milk, but because the baby does not get the milk that the mother has. The usual reason that the baby does not get the milk that is available is that he is poorly latched onto the breast. This is why it is so important that the mother be shown, on the first day, how to latch a baby on properly, by someone who knows what they are doing.

Answer 3

Well, if she can't rest on the couch then don't do it. I was in the exact same situation with my now 7 month old daughter. My milk came in very slowly and from the first night at home we did supplement with formula. We gave it in a bottle 2-3 times a day. But i was breastfeeding the whole day. And i got some sleep when my husband gave her the bottle and she slept an hour or so. I got only 1 hour sleep here and there. At night was the same. I held her the whole night because she cried if a put her down. I fell asleep too sometimes too, but wasn't a good, comfortable sleeping. Especially beacuse of the upright, sitting position. We gave her some formula i would say for 2-3 weeks, but less and less. And maybe i was lucky because she didn't get nipple confusion. So i think you can give some formula if the baby is really that hungry and crying. All that crying is burning up all the energy what they get from breastmilk. And at least she can rest a bit, while you give the formula and get the baby to sleep for an hour or so. It's really going to get better in 1-2 weeks and then she can sleep more. Good luck and keep up the good work. It's worth it!

Answer 4

Speak to a lactation consultant or nurse at the hospital or WIC or doctors office.

Breastmilk all works on supply and demand. The more the baby nurses the more milk the mom will make. The baby may not be getting latched on properly or the mom may be so frustrated and upset that the baby is able to "pick up" on her feelings and becoming upset. Also frustration can interefre with the "let down" of the milk. Mom needs to be sure she is in a calm soothing environment to nurse. Dim the lights, put on soothing music, put her feet up and drink a glass of water while nursing all help. Also try lieing down and nursing both mom and baby may fall asleep for a period of time. Sometimes babies may need to just suck to soothe themselves and it has nothing to do with being hungry at all. If you are not wanting to introduce any "fake" nipples make sure your pinky finger is clean and let the baby suck on it to soothe itself.

For something so natural nursing can be so difficult! I commend your wife for sticking it out through all the difficulties and it does get easier!

Answer 5

Fortunately this lasts for only a few days more and eventually the amount of milk and the baby's strength will build. You are both learning. To get some relief go ahead and either buy a double suction pump (it pumps both breasts at the same time. This is very important) or rent one from your local hospital. For a rental it's about 60-70 dollars per month. What worked for me was I'd put the baby to breast, then pump for 20 minutes after, give her to my husband to bottle feed and go to bed so I could get some sleep. Keep up the good work!

Answer 6

I see you have lots of breastfeeding questions. I had problems, too. Just not exactly like this. Breastfeeding is definitely worth the effort and mom should be commended for putting in so much effort and you for trying to help her find solutions! Good for you! I think the best thing to do is find a good lactation specialist to come to the house and help her. It sounds like a "latch" problem to me. Lactation specialists have seen everything and will be able to help her find a solution that will work for her. The first few days/weeks are the toughest but she can make it work with the right solutions. Many hospitals have lactation services. I would have her start with calling the hospital where she delivered and have them recommend someone. If that doesn't work, google lactation services in your area. Good luck to mom & you. :o)

Answer 7

I had the same problem with my second baby, and my doctor suggested this little thing that you hooked the bottle of supplement formula to your shirt, and a hose ran out of it that you taped to your breast and the end of the hose sat on your nipple. You can control the flow of the formula. What happens is the baby is getting formula and breast milk, while allowing the baby to get used to the nipple instead of a bottle. The only thing that I can recommend to help your milk come in better is to pump it after the supplement/breast feeding. That way, the baby has gotten your flow going and it would be easier to pump. I had to pump just to get my milk to come in the way I wanted it to. If you can get the schedule of pumping to make your milk come the same times you wish to feed the baby, it will be on a schedule in a few days.

With my first child, my milk never fully came in. My doc said that some women are just unable to produce enough milk to satisfy, so it may also be something you can't do, even if you really want to.

Hope this helps. Good luck.

Answer 8

You sound very anxious in your post. Don't lose your heads over there and have a little faith and patience. I reccomend you call your doctor. Get him/her out of bed and let the doctor talk you through a plan. You will get alot of answers here that may make sense but only your doctor knows the intimate details of the mom and childs medical necessities. So get the doctor out of bed or off the golf course or whatever. Good luck and I think babies are awesome. (Moms are cool too).

Answer 9

i had this problem...come to find out the baby was not attached correctly and not getting as much milk as he could. have someone from le leche league come to your house and help.

also, there really is no reason a four day old couldn't be getting enough breastmilk. if she wants to do the bottle...PUMP milk and then use that. pumping both sides regularly will produce a lot of milk and that way she'll keep her supply up rather than going to formula and loosing it.

please don't go to formula it's SOO bad for babies compared to breastmilk!!!

Answer 10

WEll, she doesn't need to use the water...again, let the baby nurse and nurse- this will allow the milk to come in. Make sure the baby has the proper latch and switch sides when the baby becomes unhappy.

Nurse and nap- put the baby down for a nap with your and let your baby nurse her/himself to sleep. Same with bedtime- both mom and baby will be rested. It works for us.