Every time I read about infedility here on YA tons of people quickly chime in..."Leave him/her...Divorce!" Is it at all possible that divorce is not the answer to marital problems?
2007-07-14 04:00:45 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Divorce is not the answer to most marital problems. Too many see it as the easy answer. Marriage does not seem to be taken as seriously as it once was. In my eyes it is a lifetime commitment. It was in my first marriage and I put up with a lot (being cheated on 3 times) before I simply gave in and agreed to her request for a divorce.
Even then... the divorce, being amicable and did not even need lawyers, was hard on the children.
It is not always the answer, but sometimes it is, but should never be handed out as the only answer.
2007-07-14 04:20:16 · answer #1 · answered by lonnyl_99 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
People always have an option of rebuilding their relationships and trying to save their marriages but most of the people on this site will write half a novel about how it has been two years and they still can let go of the pain. The truth is that a person who cheats will cheat again... I will never believe in the one time, stupid mistake scenario. What it comes down to is how much you value yourself and what you want for your life. For me infidelity would end my marriage but some people like their 4 bedroom house, 2.6 cars, 3.5 children, and realize that maybe their spouse my be a loser but is a good provider... and on some level that is what they need most. People are human but marriage vows are not made to be broken... I mean hell, if you can be forgiven for an affair, why does everyone complain about cheating? If in 2007 it is an accepted reality in a happy and healthy relationship, then why all the fuss... maybe once a year for 10 days each spouse can do what they want, eat, drink, sleep around, watch porn, kick the dog, and then slip back into the comforts of normalcy? I know, even better, let's just all have threesomes! A shared sexual experience can't really be cheating can it?
2007-07-14 11:21:50 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
100 years ago, when divorce was relatively rare, admissions into mental institutions of women were the same percentages then of what divorce is now!!!!!!!!! Women used to stay because they had no way to support themselves or their children, risking their mental health in the process.
Today, those same women, in really awful marriages, now have chances for education and employment, and thus divorce is a real option. Being divorsed now carries no sigma..... Even in the 1940's if a woman were divorced, she was looked upon as someone sub-human..... Even though those who did the looking wished that they were not in the marriage that they themselves could not get out of.
Years ago, the only employment open to women were nursing, teaching, some sales jobs receptionists and secretaries. Now, women are in university positions, physicians, professors, business execs, and so on.
Helpful?
2007-07-14 11:11:52 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Infedility if not easy to get over and the subject will come up over and over and over. If you don't think you can put it aside and get on with your marriage and lots of counceling then divorce may be the only answer. Without trust there is no marriage
2007-07-14 11:11:08 · answer #4 · answered by kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not. I always advice questioners to find out if there are still feelings toward their spouses before even considering divorce. Nowadays, in these instant-gratification times, where we grew up thinking everything is disposable, divorce is considered to be a solution to marital problems, and we do not want to put the effort into solving our relationship problems.
I only advice divorce IF there is not love present anymore, if not, love can (and more than likely) be our strenght to keep on trying to solve, patch, help or heal.
2007-07-14 11:07:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i am not one to yell divorce for every little detail.
however staying after an affair is only going to hurt the marriage. the person cheating is wasting someone's time he/she doesn't love. and if the person that got cheated on stayed to work it out, it would only drive them crazy wondering with every little move if that person is cheating on them again. this isn't a healthy way to live. you only end up living halfway in your marriage. is this how you recommend everyone living the rest of your life?
because i know i wouldn't.
2007-07-14 12:06:55 · answer #6 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is too short to be unhappy. If a partner is hurting the other in any way, especially if there is cheating, then the other partner should get out. There are too many people who are allowed to continually damage others and never suffer the consequences for their actions.
2007-07-14 12:04:42 · answer #7 · answered by Dorothy D 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm against divorce. You marry better or for worse. Women need to wake up and see a long commitment with that person after the fairy tale wedding. Women know how the men are and marry them anyway just for the wedding. Then they say oh what should I do,my husband is blah, blah, blah. They are the reason the divorce rate are so high and children are without parents and supervision.
You take a vow, you need to stay there with the person you marry no matter what!! If we weren't able to get a divorce we would see less marriages. Marriages with false people who think it is a joke anyway.
Look at the old days, how many divorces happened? They were married at like 13 or 14. They didn't cheat on there men, like today's women. They say oh I was so unhappy. That's bull. Better of for worse. Make sure they are who you want to wake up with for the rest of your life.
Women today sicken me. Marriage is not a joke and stop making it out to be.
2007-07-14 11:13:17 · answer #8 · answered by Me 2 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Of course it is possible that divorce isn't the answer however, many people know from experience that if someone cheats on you they will do it again. I know someone who has tolerated her husband cheating several times and it makes her look like a fool that she stays with him. Of course when he is caught he is sorry and never going to do it again. Yeah, sorry he got caught. She is wasting her life with someone who is never going to be faithful to her. And unfortunately this is usually the way it is.
2007-07-14 11:06:45 · answer #9 · answered by Twinkle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's because we live in such a throwaway society. If it's broken, people don't want to fix it, they want to throw it away and get a new one. I would do anything I had to do to keep from getting a divorce, unless there was no other possible answer. I would feel like a failure if I just gave up on my marriage without a fight.
2007-07-14 11:18:31 · answer #10 · answered by LaMariposa 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋