My friend is 19 years old and her boyfriend is a 41 year old cop, whom she met at work. He obviously knows every trick to the game,so she is being controlled by him pretty much. Her dad is 40. She works in the justice system,is there a way I can report this to our city's HR and he can get reasigned or just stop his pursuit of what I think is just mind games,control and sex. She is 19 yes, but i still dont think this is correct because he allready has 3 kids and he could just be using her. Would I be a doing the right thing if I tried to end the relationship? Im also trying to figure his name to run a backgroung check for anything odd. We keep telling her that it's not correct but she doesnt listen, he's obviously got her under his spell of cheap crimminal psychology and knowledge gained by age and experience. What can i do to end it? or better yet should I end it?
2007-07-14 03:40:22 · 12 answers · asked by chamuco 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
She's of legal age, there's really nothing anyone can do. Just hope the big difference in age causes the relationship to fizzle.
You didn't mention if he was married or not, I'm assuming he's single/divorced. Now if he's married, he may be violating an ethic's clause, that can be a condition of employment.
In my area, if a cop is married and has an affair, he can be fired/demoted.
2007-07-15 13:25:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As has been stated. Nothing is illegal about the relationship as 19 and 41 are legal ages, so you can't report them.
There are more productive ways to get your point across that something isn't right. And honestly if it isn't a good relationship and you do consider her a friend you can only make recommendations. The ultimate responsibility to change the situation would be hers.
If you are dead set on reporting them the only way to do so would be if the city has a policy against co-workers dating. But unless you worked for the city you wouldn't have that information. Again if you did try to do that more than likely you would lose her as a friend and they would continue seeing each other even if it meant one of them worked elsewhere.
2007-07-14 03:52:23 · answer #2 · answered by Riot 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well for one my parents do not go through my stuff since I am like every thing were it is and I would know if they were in there and also they would rather waste there time on something else like being on the computer or something. Plus since my parents do not live together I would not have to worry much. Also I think they would protect me then turn me in. With the cops I would just kill them and if I had to I would leave to Japan or Italy, japan first. I would only kill my parents as the very last resort I could come up with. So it would take some time for me o have to kill them. Since I could threaten them if they did find out and tried to turn me in by say I would kill them before they got to the cops. Also since they do not watch the news right there would be another reason I would not have to worry. Also if I had a death note I would most likely have my sister in on it too. lol.
2016-05-17 10:17:22 · answer #3 · answered by arla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately he's not breaking the law, so there's nothing you can do. It really does depend on the maturity of each partner. Sometimes such a big age difference isn't an issue. I am a teacher, and if I were single, I would never dream of dating a former student who was 19. I am 31. I just think it depends on the ethics of each person. The cop is not breaking the law. Maybe she's mature for her age? Maybe he's immature for his age?? Or just maybe they each have something that the other is looking for. Live and let live. It's better karma. :)
2007-07-14 03:56:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's 19 and an adult, so the relationship is not illegal, though it may be shocking to most person's moral conscious. Unless he is breeching a law or policy while on duty, the city's HR isn't probably going to care. Odder couples have ended up married. I think you should be supportive of your friend, let her know your concerns, and be unconditional in your support. At 19...she can make her own decisions and probably wants friends who will be her friend through her mistakes (if this ends up being one). Preachy friends suck in the end.
2007-07-14 03:49:10 · answer #5 · answered by ironjag 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately you cant do anything unless this cop is her boss. Not legally anyway. As long as she is of age, and she is, and consenting then you will have to wait it out. Now if you told enough people, like the media or you went to his boss they may ask him to stop or threaten him with his job. But that isnt a sure thing. Police officers are held to a higher standard so even when they are off duty they cant do eveyrthing a regular citizen can do.
2007-07-14 03:45:58 · answer #6 · answered by darkestsith 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
She's over 18, so there's nothing you can do. As for him...hell, I'm 44 and one of my buzzphrases is "When I grow up, i want an 18 year old girlfriend".
Why are you so intent on ruining their relationship?
2007-07-14 03:45:51 · answer #7 · answered by BDZot 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Stay out of it. She will wise up eventually, and he will surely grow tired of her too....and by the way, she's an adult.... so there's little you can do anyway.....
2007-07-14 03:46:30 · answer #8 · answered by gregpasq 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Really, what business is it of yours and what crime/misconduct is going on?
You are free to express your concerns to your friend, however she is the one to decide what she wants to do.
2007-07-14 03:46:23 · answer #9 · answered by Edward F 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
They are both adults. Sorry.
2007-07-14 03:57:51 · answer #10 · answered by Robert S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋