2 faced to certain people?

Question

Does anyone act 2 faced to certain people? I do because I don't trust what some people are planning for me. What are the reasons why some you act 2 faced to certain people?

Answer 1

I understand why you are acting 2 faced, but that is really the cowards way. Be assertive and if that is going to be too conflictual, say nothing or remove yourself. Try and investigate "non-engaging" conversation like ' I don't know" "I thought about it but I didn't get around to it" etc. This avoids actually engaging and doesn't lie

Answer 2

it's alway seemed to me that there are a couple of different forms of 2 faced behavior. The type where one kisses up to a person in their presence, then actively seeks to destroy their reputation, and seek to undermine their well-being when they are not around is, of course, rotten behavior. I don't indulge in this. Any one with a heart can't.
But you know, even the people I genuinely like and admire can occasionally say or do things that I find exasperating. I am often able to discuss it with them. Sometimes we have to simply agree to disagree over the matter, but no real hard feelings. Other times I'll just discuss it with someone else. This can be costructive, but it can also be little better than gossip. Or 2 faced. I'm guilty. I've also noticed that it's very common.

Answer 3

Sometimes it's just diplomacy. For example, you get on a bus, and you really want to get to your destination without a problem. Now some gung-ho Christian sits down near you and starts talking about sin and redemption and so on, and does not seem inclined to accept non-committal answers. You might say something like "how nice," rather than get into an argument and risk getting thrown off the bus.

Mostly, I find I do not have to dissemble (be two-faced) if people will simply leave me alone. But if a policeman asks me something, I may decide to portray the most innocent old lady you ever saw rather than cause trouble for myself.

My Steve would avoid lying whenever he could, but he made the point that if someone is pressing you for an answer that violates your privacy, you have the right to lie to them.

Answer 4

I don't believe I do. I remain courteous to people I don't like, but I don't smile or express warmth when I don't feel it. I am alse adept at saying "no" to invitations and expressing why when pressed.

It's not because I'm a nice person. I am too lazy to pretend to feel something I don't, but I respect who I am so I behave with respect to other people. That doesn't cost me much at all.

I would prefer to be awkwardly honest with someone at the start and reap the ensuing freedom than choke on my own bile at a pretense.

I do monitor what I express, but I don't think discretion is being two-faced. In order to maintain my professionalism at work, for example, I'm not going to carry on about the awful fight I had with my sister. I don't list a person's flaws to the bereaved at funerals, etc. Some things require a different time or context to be expressed effectively is all.