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As we're watching our tv
She switches it to UFC
She says these guys look really tough
Most are slim and really buff

She says she likes this guy called Ice
She says he's cute and really nice
She says that with a well built bra
That in that sport she could go far

I can't believe what you are saying
This ain't no game these guys are playing
Just a kick to someone's nose
Can rattle him right to his toes

She says she has a real good right
Just hit them once and say good night
I think my wife has lost her mind
These guys play rough and they ain't kind

I think she took it as a dare
She wants to fight and she don't care
She says no matter what the size
Her fists feel strong, their energized

2007-07-14 00:51:04 · 4 answers · asked by gary_b04901 1 in Arts & Humanities Poetry

4 answers

Hmm. I don't find it particularly humourous. But humour is so subjective that any one individual's opinion means little. What I can tell you is that your poem doesn't seem to have a conclusion, or a final point to make. It feels uncompleted.

2007-07-14 01:05:42 · answer #1 · answered by wunder_bred 3 · 1 0

Your wife poems are really good, really. You only have one boo-boo...the second to last word should be "they're" instead of "their".

I always enjoy your wife poems...she sounds like quite a character...or she must be a good sport to put up with you writing this stuff about her.

Keep it up, you're doing great. In fact, if you get enough of these together, I'd suggest you put a chapbook together called "Take my wife...please!" You could make some money there my friend.

2007-07-17 18:32:16 · answer #2 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0 0

Haha definite... often I hate examining human beings's poems on right here, yet yours became into easily humorous and exquisite. I loved it. If my husband gave it to me, i could absolutley like it. attempt this, additionally... She then turns around and grabbed his tail She says you dont play common although this is too late to bail She then gave that element a powerful heave It threw her off, she does not bypass away She then landed on her very own 2 ft The bull knew that he became into lifeless meat My spouse then mustered up a powerful roar That bull ran out the closest door additionally, in the 2nd line, it may be, "She thinks she'll get a thrill from this..."

2016-10-01 14:24:30 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Wunder Bred is right. It needs a conclusion. Perhaps you should add one or two stanzas about the wife actually going out there and kicking those guys' butts, hehehe.

2007-07-14 04:07:52 · answer #4 · answered by Moo 3 · 0 0

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