How does someone grieve? What did it take for you to learn to live with death of a loved one???

Question

I recently lost my mom.

Answer 1

Oh, I'm so sorry. That's a tough one. I lost my dad and my soul mate, so I understand what grief is, and how you feel.

griefnet.org can direct you to groups and counselors who specialize in grief. There are many good books you can take out of the library, as well.

Don't withdraw. See your friends, you go to their houses, have them come to yours. Find things to laugh about. Those things will help a lot.

Keep only a few of her things. I kept everything of my dad's for several years. Most of them were destroyed by a flood. That's when I found out that those things weren't needed for me to remember or cherish my dad. They were holding me back from my growth. After his things had to be junked, I came to realize my memories of him were golden, unchanged by the loss, perhaps even improved by the loss. The change lifted my heart.

Grief comes and goes -like the tides in the ocean. Let them be what they are, but don't wallow in the pain. Know, too, that your mom would not be happy if you are unhappy. So it is important that you return to happiness, and treasure the wonderful memories.
You may email me if you want to talk, ask questions, or just say what you're feeling.

Answer 2

Hon, after 12 years, I still grieve for my dad. The hurt isn't as intense as it was, but I can still cry when I think of certain things and reach for the phone to call him and remember that he is no longer here.

Everyone grieves in their own way, there is no specific time for you. Cry when you need to, scream when you need to (I've done it) and laugh when you need to.

Your heart will never be the same, but it will always be full of your mom, her voice, her love. Remember her and you will be a better person.

My heart goes out to you. I've felt what you're feeling and I'm here to tell you it may not get better, but it does get easier.

Answer 3

Please accept my sincerest condolences for your loss. Yesterday to the day (Friday, June 13th) marked a day that I lost my second wife to psychosis. She is missing and presumed dead and I have no closure. I experienced a tremendous amount of grief that is still kind of hard every Friday the 13th. But as the years have gone by, I have found it easier to deal with my loss. I still cry over my losses from time to time and there have been many. But my grief does get easier as time goes by and I focus on my soulmate and the love that she has for me.

Answer 4

I'm so sorry about your mom. Greiving is a very individual process, and no one will go through it the same as you will. It takes time, and accepting that whatever you are feeling is OK. The peace will come in time. Your mother still loves you and her influence can still be in your life through her memory.