Why do some ex-mormons (see details) blame the church for their personal problems?

Question

I've seen some here talking about how miserable their life was ......... - because of the church -
All LDS people that I have met, young and old are very happy people who feels good in church and thank our Heavenly Father and the church for their lifes because it has been great (I'd include myself like 97.9% in that group). Everyone has problems, even the most happy looking person, be shouldn't we just assume that we were not lucky enough or something went bad? why blaming the church?

If you were in one of these situations, say your story, what happened and how the church was involved in that bad situation.

Answer 1

Some people need something besides themselves to blame their misery and problems on.. For ex-mormons an easy target is the mormon church..

It works with every group someone leaves...

I left the mormon church at age 18 I left simply because I do not agree with the churches theology.. I do not believe there are, were or will be any deities, therefore being in a group that professes there are and worships said deities makes no sense.. I don't have hard feeling toward the people or the church I simple do not agree with the views on deities...

Answer 2

i think of human beings mostly choose a scapegoat. No 2 each and every physique is alike, not mormons, ex-mormons, anti-mormons, catholics, methodists, jehovah's witnesses, etc. So the subject concerns that some face are not the comparable that all and sundry face. I used to blame the church for my issues. Then i found out i did not truly have any issues, I in basic terms felt the ought to whinge. Now I the two attempt to clean up the subject concerns or not enable them to difficulty me. Liesel.

Answer 3

Some people have a hard time adhering themselves to strict rules. And when they don't obey completely to those rules, they will feel guilt and depression and look for ways to throw that blame away from them onto someone or something else. As goes for anything, not just church. We mormons live by a strict set of guidelines, and it's hard, especially for converts that have never lived that kind of life. I saw this happen so many times when i was on my mission. You would see people get baptized, then a few months later, leave. You ask them why, and it's because they have fallen back into old ways, like drinking and stuff, and don't feel comfortable anymore, then get mad and put the blame on the church. It was more often than not, ridiculous because people can't take responsibility for their own stuff.

Answer 4

Your question belies your complete indoctrination into mormonthink, or "If anyone leaves, it's because they are guilty of 'something' bad.

People leave for a number of reasons, some personal, some not so personal, but mostly doctrinal. Some can simply walk away, and consider it a personal victory, others like to warn the masses of the complete and utter hoax and manipulative cult the church is.

You obviously are going to rely on the 'warm fuzzy' feelings to make major decisions (until you're married, then you'll make no decisions at all) in your life. Some will good, others will be "the will of god" designed to make you a better person, despite the amputations, loss of sight or death of your children.

To me, it's not worth the risk. You can believe anything you wish, but if it's a lie, you're just fooling yourself.

Answer 5

We are "saved by GRACE, after all that we can do".... we're not saved by how well we live up the Gospel standards.

Since we rely on Jesus Christ for our salvation, a little self-acceptance and tolerance of others is in order.

It's the heart that counts. Someone who doesn't want to conform on the outside (eg purple shirt, affro hair), isn't necessarily apostate on the inside.... and visa versa.

The Gospel is true, and beautiful.... The culture is a pain!

Some Mormons turn "being a good example" into a vice. Many people are inspired by love... honesty, understanding, empathy. Molly and Marvin can go jump in the lake. What consolation and empathy can they offer to a troubled soul?

All you need is love, love... Love is all you need... (ie, not the stupid "squeaky clean" image).

I think if active LDS started being more honest about themselves, many honest ex-Mormons would not be ex-Mormons.

P.S. I am still very much an active LDS. :-)

Answer 6

Binglephipple hit on the subject I wish to address. Simply because the Church is what it is, it is attacked for being what it is, namely, The Church of Jesus Christ. In other words, the greatest opposition Satan can muster will be cast upon the greatest force for good in the world today, namely The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Thus, every time somebody leaves the Church, Satan puts it into their heads to blame the Church for their troubles. Some are able to resist this logical fallacy while others succomb to it. One of my sons left because he was resistent to authority in general, yet he blames the Church and his family for his troubles. This is wrong but he let it become his point of attack. Instead of acknowledging that he had a rebellious spirit and learning to conquer his own shortcomings, he found a convenient target to blame. I think many people do the same thing.
I knew a lady in San Francisco that blamed the Church and its leaders for her leaving, yet what really troubled her were her own shortcomings in failing to cope with life. She persecuted other members of the Church because their presence around her reminded her of her own failings, so it was easier to attack the good members rather than admit that she had a problem that needed attention.
It is perhaps hard to equate such human reactions to Satan, but that is where I believe the source of such human reactions derive. We are surrounded with good and evil forces. Which way we goes depends upon our choices. When we choose to persecute that which is good, we are listing to follow the prince of persecution, Lucifer himself.

Answer 7

How do you know that that church did not actually cause those problems?
Catholics once said the same of their members that left-then the big cover up with the molestations was unrevealed.

But of course... ahem...Mormons are better than Catholics....Why? Because they tell us they are.

Uh, yeah.

Here is one for you: Why do Mormons have a higher rate of members leaving or going inactive than any other religion if they are so great? And why so many people dislike such a "great" church? You don't see people here "picking on" Baptists or Presbyterians.