Actual T-Shirt Slogans?

Question

1. "Frankly, Scallop, I Don't Give a Clam." (seen on Cape Cod).
2. "That's It! I'm Calling Grandma!" (seen on an 8 year old).
3. "Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up".
4. "Procrastinate Now."
5. "Rehab Is for Quitters."
6. "My Dog Can Lick Anyone."
7. "I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts - Do You Want Fries With That?"
8. "Party - My Crib - Two A.M." (on a baby-size shirt).
9. "Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing Since 15."
10. "ALL MEN ARE IDIOTS, AND I MARRIED THEIR KING."
11. "West Virginia: One Million People, and 15 last names."
12. "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It comes bundled with the software."
13. "I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I'VE GOT A GUN."
14. "A hangover is the wrath of grapes."
15. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance."
16. "STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP. Park elsewhere!"
17. "DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban Country Music."
18. "MOOSEHEAD: A great beer and a new experience for a moose."

19. "They call it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken."
20. "He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead."
21. "Time's fun when you're having flies....... Kermit the Frog."
22. "POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN .... Cops have nothing to go on."
23. "FOR SALE: Iraqi rifle. Never fired. Dropped once."
24. "HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH."
25. "A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS, but it uses up a thousand
times the memory."
26. "The Meek shall inherit the earth....after we're through with it."
27. "Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana."
28. "HAM AND EGGS - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment
for a pig."
29. "WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years."
30. "The trouble with life is there's no background music."
31. "IF THERE IS NO GOD, WHO POPS UP THE NEXT KLEENEX?"
32. "Suicidal Twin Kills Sister By Mistake!"
33. "The original point-and-click interface was a Smith & Wesson."

34. "MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED TO SHREDDED WHEAT."
35. "Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit."
36. "Computer programmers know how to use their hardware."
37. "MOP AND GLOW - Floor wax used by Three-Mile-Island cleanup team."
38. "NyQuil-The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell- is-the-room- spinning medicine."
39. "Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research."
40. A shirt with a Harley Davidson logo on the front. The back said, "IF YOU CAN READ THIS, THE ***** FELL OFF!"
41. "My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't
42. If you can't feed em,
Don't Breed em!
43. I survived Roe vs Wade (Seen on New born T-Shirt)

Answer 1

My all time favorite:

BOMB DISPOSAL EXPERT
( If you see me running, try to keep up! )

Answer 2

I like the ones with aviation slogans on them

"remove before flight"
"if you want to die slowly, then follow me" on my flying instructor's T-shirt.
"before It used to be that sex was safe and flying was dangerous. Now its the other way around'- the slogan to promote the flying school where I learned how to fly.

This one is not funny and i actually haven't seen it on a shirt yet, but i think it would go nice as a shirt slogan
"Aviation in itself is not inherently dangerous, but to an even greater degree than the see it is terribly unforgiving of any carelessness incapacity or neglect"

good luck.

this one is not related to aviation, but its still pretty funny
" believe me, its big"

Answer 3

Pavlov(spelled out in shape of dog) the name that rings a bell.
I have this on a shirt.

Answer 4

The bomb disposal thing was funny..My favorite,I have it as a refrigerator magnet says" If we can put man on the moon why
can't we put them all there"?

Answer 5

The funniest one I saw was one that said: Club Sandwiches, not Seals. I don't know maybe it's just me. I found It hilarious.

Answer 6

Something about how ironic to be wearing something on your hand that someone else lost theirs for.

Answer 7

HAHAHA! yeah, who does pop the next kleenex.? (#31.)

Answer 8

I saw one on a little boy and it said (all daddy wanted was a *******)

Answer 9

I can only do so much in one day,today is not your day,tomorrow is not looking good either.

Answer 10

Lol very funny !