There's a guy at work I'm interested in. I'm a single mom of a seven month old, he's got kids, although I'm not sure how old they are. I do know he's not married and not seriously seeing anyone. I've not dated anyone since my ex left..... not sure how to get back into the game. Should I even make a try of it?
2007-07-13 18:40:48 · 11 answers · asked by LolaC☼ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In response to the "free meat" comment down there... my son's father is a guy I'd been with for two years, and thought would stick around. This wasn't some random fling.
2007-07-13 19:30:06 · update #1
He might be approachable simply because he has kids of his own ... all I know is I missed out on a really cool chick back in the day because I mistakenly assumed she had a kid ... (same old answer : I ain't raising someone else's kid)
Of course, now that I'm older, I can more understand that the kid is more an extension of the mother, let alone a unique individual, as opposed to being a glaring reminder of the sperm donor who is out of the picture.
Never know til you ask him out ... worse case scenario? He says "no" and becomes aware that you are (were) interested. No big deal!
2007-07-13 18:48:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Real men will date a woman with a child. A lot are to immature to deal with the fact you have a child. Which in the long run really is a good thing for you it helps keep a lot of the loser away form you.
As for this guy at work it might be a good idea to find out a little more like if he was married before? Do his kids have the same mother? If he was married before or even the kids have the same mother go for it. If his kids have more then one mother he might be someone to stay away from even if he will date a single mother. His track record shows that he's not very good at stay with someone if he has a kid with them. You really don't want to end up a single mother with two kids from different dads.
2007-07-13 20:04:14 · answer #2 · answered by TheOneAndOnlyBooger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it But I have seen that single mom's always say .You gotta know my kid's come first.Wrong you wont get a man then. If you think he's gonna come over and watch you pay more attention to the kids than him.Remember the kid's are 24/7 he may not have a lot of free time and if ignored he wont put time and effort into you ok BE fair.
2007-07-13 20:41:00 · answer #3 · answered by akcrabber06 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
boy there are alot of crap talkers here! There is nothing wrong with a single mom dating! If any man has an issue with you having children, they aren't what you want nor, need around them. There are alot of great guys out there that aren't so immature as to think that you expect them to take care of your child. The right guy would treat your child as a part of you and give them and you the respect you deserve. You go girl!! If he has a problem with it, drop him like a hot cake.
2007-07-13 18:51:15 · answer #4 · answered by Allison L 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't date a girl with a kid.theres the constant reminder of some other guy she used to be with.I am turned off by a woman who had some other guys DNA growing inside of huh.too much baggage.I want kids of mine own someday, not to raise somebody elses.
single moms go good with single pops, they can understand each other better, and hopefully the kids don't fight it out.
2007-07-13 19:56:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
there are men who can love you and your child.
there are also men who can only deal with and love their own flesh and blood. this is important for you to understand. avoid men who are allergic to the children of other men.
now that you are a mother you have to make some lifestyle changes. first, no more children out of wedlock. this rule must be rigid and unbreakable.
no more dizzy behavior, you are no longer a fickle single girl. you are a mother with a child.
about the young man.
does he like you? you must have an idea. how does he treat you? is he just trying to get a quickie?
if you believe he seriously likes you, then you can use your female charms, congeniality to entice/entrap him.
check point!!
i am not suggesting sex. i am just suggesting using you female charm. that's all.
if you begin to go out together, you need to find out what his intentions are. is he looking for a sleeping partner or a serious relationship leading to marriage. you must find this out.
no more nonsense. you now have serious responsibilities.
going out with someone you work with is generally not a good idea.
good luck, set up some rules for a major lifestyle change and keep the shop locked up till you have a more serious relationship.
no more free milk or meat.
good luck.
does he like you mucho? you must have an idea!!!!
2007-07-13 19:20:31 · answer #6 · answered by ramni222 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am only telling you this from experience.
Guys date single moms because they know they are easy and they can hop in the sack with them. They figure if they have a child, they have sex.
I have been a single mom for 22 yrs, and men see single mothers as an easy target.
2007-07-13 18:46:10 · answer #7 · answered by happydawg 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
FIRST OF ALL, I have to wonder why you are a single mom of a SEVEN MONTH OLD... that's such a short time ago...
Unless your man is incarcerated or deceased, you should try and make it work. Children who grow up without both parents can become quite bitter and harbor tremendous anger towards life...
As for you dating again, some men find children to be a turn off. I'm one of them.
Materialistic men simply don't want to support another man's child.
However...
Men do have a paternal instinct that is quite strong. If they fall deeply in love with a woman, they WILL be willing to make that relationship work against all odds.
5 years ago, I was in love with a woman. Deeply in love with her and I let her know it...but she was already involved with another man. I would have done anything to have her - even fought her man to the death.
She has a son now.
If anything happened to her husband...*ahem* .. and she came to me for help, I would try and rekindle my love for her and make it work. Probably marry her and be a good father to her son.
Despite I'm turned off by women with children - true love is powerful and I could easily be persuaded to alter my feelings.
P.S. I read Lou's answer and he is right. Some men don't wanna think about another man's DNA growing inside his wife. Its bad enough we can barely get Virginal wives but, everytime we'd look at the child we'd have a flash of another man banging our woman.
NO THANKS.
2007-07-13 18:44:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
It wouldn't bother me. I love kids...... plus single moms are HOT!
2007-07-14 10:08:50 · answer #9 · answered by Mr. Georgia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he has kids himself he is probably more into some else that has kids rather than someone with no kids. Where as if the man has no kids he woulds also prefer there to be no kids.
Go ask him out!
2007-07-13 18:50:29 · answer #10 · answered by EWSA_Tricky 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋