2007-07-13 16:40:41 · 10 answers · asked by Bite_Me 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere she went.
She would even take the parrot to the club with her when she went
dancing and drinking on Saturday nights. Whenever the woman went onto
the dance floor, the parrot would yell, "The roof, the roof, the roof
is
on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!
Burn, muthafukkah, burn!" The crowd on the dance floor would always
cheer and holler in appreciation when the parrot would yell. This would
make the parrot yell even more and of course make the crowd go wild.
This
would go on all night long, everytime the parrot went out.
One Sunday morning the woman took the parrot to church and into the
choir stand with her.
And when the choir started to sing, the parrot yelled, "The roof, the
roof,
the roof is on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!
Burn, muthafukkah, burn! She embarrassingly corrected the parrot,
"No, you don't say that here!!"
The parrot looked around and asked, "Why not? These are the same
muthafukkahs that was at the club last night!!!..
2007-07-21 01:43:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I hope that this tickles your funny bone:
Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and
noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Sincerely,
Desperate
Dear Desperate:
First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try entering the command C:\I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy
Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.Wav files.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or re-install another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and hard drive performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.
Good luck,
Tech Support
2007-07-19 01:57:58 · answer #2 · answered by mgctouch 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
L: Have you any grounds?
P: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
L: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
P: It made of concrete.
L: I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
P: No, we have carport, and not need one.
L: I mean. What are your relations like?
P: All my relations still in Poland
L: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
P: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
L: Does your wife beat you up?
P: No, I always up before her.
L: Is your wife a nagger?
P: No, she white.
L: Why do you want this divorce?
P: She going to kill me.
L: What makes you think that?
P: I got proof.
L: What kind of proof?
P: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: 'Polish Remover
2007-07-14 00:45:44 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle T. 2 · 5⤊ 0⤋
A teacher was telling her students that it was impossible for a man to get eaten by a large fish. One of her students, little Johnny, stands up and says, "That's not true! In the Bible it says that Jonah was swallowed by a fish!" The teacher was an athiest and didn't believe it. After arguing about it, Johnny says, "Alright, if you don't believe me, I'll ask him about it when I get to heaven!"
"What if he goes to hell?" The teacher asks. "Then you ask him!"
2007-07-19 15:48:27 · answer #4 · answered by Chloe Anne 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A dumb joke
BUZZZZZZZ BUZZZZZZZ
A guy was trying to sleep but one mosquito kept flying around and disturbed his sleep with its sound "buzzzz buzzzz buzzzz".
He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand.
He is very kind and gentle. Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "sleeping my baby, tralalala...".
After some time he finds the mosquito falling in to deep sleep in his hands.
So he goes near it and shouts "BUZZZZZZZ BUZZZZZZZ BUZZZZZZZ"
2007-07-14 22:25:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
here we go,
so there is a medical clinic and the teacher says "there are two things you have to do,first, do what I say, and second observe."
he sticks his finger in a corpse butt and then licks his finger and tells everyone to copy. The students are hesitant but finnaly give in and copy. After they had all copied the proffessor said "as I said, the second thing you needed was observation, if you had observed you would know I stuck my index finger in the butt and sucked my middle finger.
2007-07-14 00:42:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
2 sperms swimmin rapidly along, 1 turns to the other and says are we nearly there yet, other turns bk and says no mate we only just past the tonsils
2007-07-21 07:14:58 · answer #7 · answered by Jem J 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
you got to get me a feather first and only take off your shoes no wait a minute wash your feet first
2007-07-13 23:48:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have one for tickling?
2007-07-20 23:11:48 · answer #9 · answered by sristi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
**youve been tickled**
2007-07-19 17:46:15 · answer #10 · answered by Mess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋