I dread bedtime. My daughter will literally throw a fit for hours not wanting to go to bed. Read more?

Question

I am finally taking everyone including my doctors advice on putting a baby gate up in her doorway and letting her cry herself to sleep. She is 2 1/2. But she still stays up until 2 AM like before... she just screams the whole time. It has been 3 nights now. Will she eventually stop and just accept the fact that bedtime is at 9? I am doing a routine with her. And I am stopping long naps. I feel so terrible but I cant keep giving in to her. She throws bad fits in her room.
What time should I wake her up in the morning? Is 9 too late?

Answer 1

Wow! Yikes! Mine is 5 years old and still won't go to sleep so I don't know about the ever stopping thing.

I think the gate is a good idea and enforce hard. I didn't and I regret it!

Answer 2

Keep in mind that she's growing and learning something everyday. Right now she's learned that if she gets mad enough that she can stay awake. It's hard not to react. My son did this for about a week when he was 2.
It's part separation from you and part not wanting to miss out on anything fun. Try waking her at about 7:30, it won't be easy. Be very patient. Make nap time before 3:00 PM and not longer than an hour, again she'll be cranky, but be very patient. Then at 8:00 Pm start a night rountine. Maybe a bath or nightime snack and milk , and a story or 2. My 3 year old still tries to wiggle out of bed, but I tell him that the story ends if he gets up . He has to lay down to listen and read with me.
The easiest way to end the tantrum is lay down with her and talk about her day, or change the subject, start to read a book aloud and she will eventually show interest.

Answer 3

Well have you tried putting a radio in her room, or just play a cd for her? And if she isn't getting up until 9 then let her sleep later and just take her naps out all together and then try moving her bed time up. Maybe she just doesn't like to be alone? What about putting a doorknob lock on the inside of her room I would think by now she could climb over a gate. And I am sure she can't keep this up for too much longer, you would think that after a week or so of this she would finally go to sleep. It sounds like you have a stubborn one on your hands. Good Luck. Sorry I couldn't be more help.

Answer 4

OMG! I feel like I was the only one going through this! My two year old is STILL up right now! I had to give in and let her hang out with her father b/c I couldnt take the screaming and I need to get some sleep too! It sounds like your daughter is out of a crib, which is fantastic! The gate is also a great idea too! You are on your way to success! Dont feel bad that you dont give in to her...I dont feel bad when I dont give in. I wish my daughter would sleep till 9! Try waking her up maybe one hour earlier and see how that works for you! Good luck!

Answer 5

Colorado's answer was great. Be careful not to get too close when talking, I've had my share of smacks that way.

First I would check with the doctor to make sure nothing is going on.

You can't give in. Take time to clean her room, and make sure she can't get hurt. Pick a night and start. Give her a sticker chart (if she could understand it) and let her put stickers on, in the morning, when she goes to bed and stays in bed.

If you put her in bed and she cries for 10 minutes and you go in, you are setting yourself up for her to cry at least 15 minutes next time, and 20 the next...

As long as you 'save' her, she knows that she just has to scream a little louder or a little longer and you will eventually go in.

Answer 6

It sounds like an extreme case of over tired. What routine have you got when she goes to bed? It really can make all the difference. Let her sleep during the day and change your routine to put her down earlier. Maybe 7 or 7.30. The longer she stays up the longer it will be before she sleeps. Just make sure that there isnt something in her room that she is scared of.

Answer 7

Kids can be quite active. The only way to put them to sleep is to make them do something before their bedtime. You can try to engage her in activities she find exciting and let her play herself to sleep.

Sometimes they cry because they want attention. Perhaps you can give her just a little bit more, because kids can never have enough. 2 1/2 years is still a small number and perhaps you can give in to her until she is old enough to understand.

And about waking her up, why not let her wake up on her own? 9 can be the latest. Because again, she is only 2 1/2 :)

Answer 8

i am lucky to have a good sleeper (she's 2 1/2), but i also do things to make sure she stays that way!
1) i make sure she has a full tummy....carbs usually, or TURKEY! :)
2) a warm bath with lavender baby wash before bed to wind down
3)read a book while she's in bed, them baby massage on her face and temples for just a few minutes
4)she doesn't nap---at all. this doesn't work for everyone, but i find she sleeps from around 8 or 9 at night until around 8 or 9 in the morning this way.
5)i wear her out during the day! play, run, check the mail, go to lunch, go to the mall, the playground, anything ( and i try to do one last big burst before bathtime, like dancing to a song or (yikes i know this is bad but her dad does it with her) jumping on the bed
6)she has a rain machine that SHE tells me if i forget to turn it on. these are great, cause sister, once they go to sleep, you wanna make sure they STAY that way, and the noise helps lull them back or hides noises to begin with!
good luck!

Answer 9

is she still in a crib? well with the gate up i guess not...lol but i have a child with bad sleeping problems too.. he's only 11months he never like staying in a crib and i tryed the crying it out he cryed for 3 hours 4 hours up to 5 hours so i gave up he sleeps with me and throw the night maybe u should just lay down with her til she falls asleep and maybe try getting up at 6 or 7 and an hour nap or shorter

Answer 10

Mine sleeps from 8-7 and takes about a 2hour nap during the day. However, we had to do the lock him in the room and let him cry it out once he was out of the crib.

The other option, would be to as you asked read more with her before bed, then hang out until she starts to settle down. Plus the trick we use to to read later books in a low, slow, sleepy voice. Remember a boring teacher in school, kind of like that.

Answer 11

Children thrive on routine-especially toddlers. Your little girl is quite aware of her behavior and knows that she'll eventually get what she wants. I really don't think putting up a toddler gate will help the behavior. It's more about actions that you can take to help your child get into a bedtime routine. First off, set up a rigid routine. Start about two hours before bedtime. Have your child help you with their bedtime. Allow her to pick out her jammies, what book to read, what toys to play with in the bathtub, etc. Children often act out because they want their independence and control of a situation. Offering choices allow them to express their independence and allows you to keep control. Establish a set time for each activity. (ie, 15 for bedtime snack, 15 min of stories, 30 min of bath, etc) Give her a 5 min. heads up that she's about to go to the next activity or to bed. Then give her a three min warning, then two, then one. STAY TO YOUR SET SCHEDULE!!! As for the screaming, calmly place yourself on your child's level-looking eye to eye. Explain to her that you do not tolerate screaming and that it makes you very angry that she's yelling at you. Walk away. If you have to do it again, place her in an area where she won't hurt herself-bedroom isn't a good idea. A step works well. One minute per year is usually good. Then explain to her why you put her there. If you completely ignore the child when she's screaming she may try more drastic measures to get your attention. By acknowleging that you're aware she's upset you're allowing her feelings to be heard. And by telling her it's not allowed you're putting your foot down. I hope this helps. Good luck!