How can I help this homeless man?

Question

There is a homeless man that is always standing on the side of the road and I go almost everyday and ask him if he's eaten and if he hasn't I go to one of the fast food restaurants nearby and get him a meal or give him a few dollars. I know that in a way that is helping him, but I want to help him in a "bigger" way. I feel really bad for him because I have seen him standing there in the pouring rain. I'm scared to let him in my car because I don't know him so I can't take him anywhere, but I really want to help him... What can I do?

Just a couple of things in response to some of the answers:
1.) I'm Muslim
2.) His age is probably in his mid-30's
3.) I do think he has some mental health issues because of the way he acts.
4.) I am sure that he is homeless because I see him at all hours (day and night) in pretty much the same place on the same street for the past two months.

Answer 1

Get him a backpack, maybe some stuff you might get in preparation of a camping trip (raincoat, tarp, sunblock, etc.) and some shoes. Don't go too overboard, because it's hard to carry stuff around.
A lot of homeless people carry a lot of baggage, metaphorically speaking, so you'll never really be able to HELP help him, unless you're willing to spend thousands of dollars to get him out of whatever vicious cycle he's in. Social services may be able to help him get on his feet.

Answer 2

I think you're an earth-bound angel.

Some of these answers are pure evil, while some are quite realistic. The reality is ... a homeless person is a dead spirit, someone who has had every ounce of pride and dignity stripped from them. They are so horribly depressed that rain does not make them seek shelter to stay dry. Many homeless feel they deserve to be soaked by the rain because they are worse than trash. They don't feel the rain and don't care if it takes them days to dry out.

It takes a broken, beaten soul to sit or stand on a dirty sidewalk and beg for money. Even the people who have obviously been drinking only buy the cheapest rotgut they can find to drown the miserable reality that is their lives. They don't care if they live, they don't care if they die. If they drink it's because they need to numb the horror that is their life now as well as bury the memory of what pushed them over the edge. Some homeless go to dollar stores and by rubbing alcohol or mouthwash because of the miniscule amount of buzz they get from it, no matter what it does to eat away their insides.

The people who suggested telling the homeless man where some suitable shelters are or soup kitchens are correct. Soup kitchens and shelters come and go and homeless people have no Internet to research aid facilities in their area. Remember, the poor must walk everywhere. They can't spare one penny towards the bus. A phone call is a luxury. A coffee is pure hedonism.

Think about this: Where are their families? Their families have abandoned them. They have no one and even though they may talk to other homeless people, many just stick to themselves because they trust no one. They are walking targets for poor-bashers who think they are expendable and practise their martial art fantasies on them. They often sport a black eye or a split lip because shelters are unsupervised and after they fall asleep, other homeless people go through their personal possessions and beat them up if they think they can get away with it.

Shelters are dangerous and food banks are only good if you have a home because food banks won't give you any food unless you can prove you're receiving social assistance and you need an address to send your monthly check. If you live on the street you can only catch catnaps for an hour or two at a time.

Why don't they work or get a job? They don't even want to live! They don't care about anything; their future is nothing they look forward to. If they keep on the way they're going, their life expectancy is reduced by 95%. Some of them live long lives in squalor and depression while the lucky ones last a few years and then get hit by a car or freeze to death in winter because nobody cared and brought them inside.

But it's true, sometimes there's nothing you can do. If a person has nothing to live for, they're going to die whether we care about them or not. What you do for this man is more than anybody else EVER does for him. You truly are his only guardian angel. But don't feel you need to do more. Maybe ask him, if he's coherent, if you could ask how he ended up out on the street.

Some will tell you, some will clam up. Either way, it's a painful thing to talk about and just the fact that you ask and you listen is more than anybody else gives him. You could speak to your mosque about him if you like but don't be shocked and dismayed if you get answers like, "He's a bum. He WANTS to live like that." Cruelty can come from any source. Many intolerent people should think, "There, but for the grace of God, could be me."

You could also try and convince him that his life isn't over yet and he may have much more to contribute to the world. It might snap him out of it to hear another human being say he has worth ... or it may not. But what you're doing is saying and doing something nice for him almost every day. Positive vibes are powerful things.

I thank you for him, angel.

.

Answer 3

Why do people thumbs down the very suggestion that the man should get a job! You are not helping him by giving him money or food. Its like giving a drug addict more drugs. How is that helping?? I am not saying treat him like a piece of dirt. I was in the service industry for over ten years, working graveyard shift and served my fair share of homeless people. I may have given them a cup of coffee from time to time on the house, but I didnt let them sit for hours because they had nowhere else to go. I really despise the fact people think solving the homeless problem relies on US giving them our hard earned money. If this guy is sane as you say, then there is no reason he should need to sit on a corner expecting hand outs. There are programs and government assistance out there designed to help these people. That goes for the insane as well. Many homeless are out there simply because there family refused to support them any longer. Why should you support them? How is that the answer to anything? If you really want to help the homeless, take in a stray cat. They have it alot worse.

Answer 4

I don't know how to put this so you will understand but you seem sincere so I will try. I have lived a, shall we say, very checkered life. I could tell you things I saw on 1st Street in Seattle back in the early '60's that would curl your hair. It was skid row. I often tended bar in the Town Talk which was run by an older woman called Gracie. I often got coffee and donuts at the mission. Jesus first and then prayer and at last something solid in the gut and something wet besides beer, in my case. Wine for most. For more of them than you would ever imagine, it was a way of life and they lived it until their carcass was picked up out of an alley. They DID NOT want a change. Others did and got out. It may be that the man you are helping is living the life he chose. There is nothing wrong with helping him if that is the case, but don't expect him to be anything other than what he is. For a good many, they are living a life they will not forsake. I hope this helps you out some.

Answer 5

Do exactly what you are doing, and pray for him. I know this doesn't sound like it is nearly enough. But you can only do so much. You can refer him to a mission or church that is ministering to homeless people.

I have a large burden for the homeless, and I have found that no mater what I do it is never enough. I have tried to focus on the spirit of the person. After this life is over, there will be an eternaty for everyone. So mabe try to help him assure his eternal life will be with Jesus.

Again this doesn't sound like much now, but some day in Heaven you might see him again, and he will be glad that you let God work through you in a spiritual way as well as a material way.

God be with you,

Reverend William M. Butler, St. Luke Christian Ministries

Answer 6

It's awesome that you are feeding him. There are a couple of things that you could do. First, tho, remember that you don't know much about this gentleman. It could be that he has a mental illness or is mildly mentally retarded and he may not have the skills to follow a shelter program. That may explain why he is homeless. You never know - and you are wise to stay safe.

I think my first move would be to talk with a ministry or program in your area that focuses on outreach to the homeless - you should call them and explain just like you did to us - what you are observing and what you are trying to do to help.

You can give this man your first name and ask his. Ask him if he wants help. He may not - and if not - don't push. If he does want help, perhaps you and your spouse or a group of friends could be sure to see him through the first few steps. Sometimes caring enough to see someone gets started on the right track makes all the difference in the world.

Not much else you can do - - getting others involved may open doors for this gentleman, tho.

Answer 7

Help him help himself. I've spoken to many homeless though who have been in the streets so long that they actually prefer the streets than four walls! Maybe you can offer him work for pay instead of handouts after all they do have their pride, some of them any way. I've noticed that some of those guys who hang out by the freeway asking for money usually have clean new tennis shoes or new ten speed bikes! They make good money doing nothing some of them. I do admire your desire to help, I'm the same way that's how I've gotten to know some of them. Be careful though some are con artist who will use your good will.

Answer 8

You're a really good person for trying to help this guy. I think you have really helped him alot already with the money and food. I think you should give him advice on how he should start 'living'. Maybe help him find a job in some way. Just don't let him into your car. You never know when people will backstab you. God bless, Val

Answer 9

Big problem. Is he redemable? Is he playing you? Is he buying booze or drugs? Some guys have hard luck, and just need a hand up to get back to their former selves. Does he have a social worker? Perhaps (with her oversight) you could sponsor him. Help him get a job and a place to live. There are lots of good people just one paycheck away from homelessness. In this case, you have to figure out if he's an unfortunate, or a guy who milks the system. I honor you for your altruism, and wish you the best of luck! We need more people like you in America!

Answer 10

Unfortunately his issues probably go far beyond what you as an individual can do. I'm sure that he appreciates the meal. Many of the folks like that have serious alcohol/drug/mental health issues. Sometimes just doing what you are doing is helping him in the best way you can.

Answer 11

That's a tough call. First you'd have to determine how much help he's willing to accept. I think your feeding him is a good start. If you can help him out with an old blanket and a "hello" that's good, too.

One thing that might make a difference is if you ask his name, and when you see him say "How are you doing today, Bill," or whatever his name may be.