My daughter is to be wed tomorrow. We have paid the pastor who is officiating our daughter's wedding $425.00 to officiate the wedding.
Is it appropriate to add a tip after the service, and if so, how much?
2007-07-13 16:03:11 · 21 answers · asked by nathan_strahl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No. The fee is sufficient.
2007-07-14 09:50:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That sounds like a sufficient payment. A tip is not necessary, but, if through all the planning and counselling (?), you, or the bride and groom have become close to the minister it is certainly appropriate to express additional thanks and appreciation. Maybe just a special thank you letter, or if you feel so inclined, maybe include a gift certificate to a nice restaurant or something of that nature.
Ministers are a very important part of the wedding and many times go away feeling a bit unappreciated, even if he did receive payment. His job is a job of the heart, and his words can make your wedding extra special and touching. As a matter of fact, that's how it should be. If not, he wasn't that caring and interested anyway. A minister who performs a beautiful and touching ceremony has put his heart into it and has likely spent more time than you would think on it. Those two "kids" he is marrying probably mean a lot more to him than anyone realizes. He has prepared and PRAYED. It would be nice to give him an extra pat on the back.
I admit certainly not all marriage officiates are so gracious. Some seem to perform the ceremony by rote, and 'let's get it over with.' That's sad. Very sad.
Such pomposity has no place at a spiritual, sacred formal service.
2007-07-13 17:09:11 · answer #2 · answered by sheek Txn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A gratuity to the officiant of a wedding is proper etiquette. It should b $50 - $100 depending on how much work he has put into the wedding ceremony.
Mny people think that the officiant or minister just shows up, reads from a book and thats all there is to it. They are very mistaken and do not take into consideration the many, many hours that go into writting the ceremony and preparing for the wedding, not to mention the years spent training to become a pastor.
Since you have paid $425, I assume you are either in a large city like New York where the prices are much higher than ther parts of the country, or that also includes the venue fee for the church building, which is typically around $300.
Offering a gratuity is a sign of appreciation for all that the person has done. If the services performed are what you are expecting, then by all means, show them that you appreciate it.
2007-07-13 17:05:55 · answer #3 · answered by Paradise Weddings & Travel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My father is a minister and it is true that much goes into a wedding for the minister. Counseling can be very intense ahead of time. In fact, his role has been so important in the past that he has actually helped people realize they needed to wait or cancel. He also has to deal with multiple people expressing opinions about the service and often has to totally arrange important events in his personal schedule to attend counseling sessions, rehearsals and receptions. He has actually had people not pay him at all even after he went through all of this. I don't know if the $425 is too large, I'm guessing that has more to do with the church policies than the minister and also depends on the location (some churches have a lot of overhead if they are large to keep them going).
I think my father has rarely had a tip, and probably didn't expect it. However, a nice card came his way once and it really made his day. Plus, he had someone invite him to their one year anniversary party.
2007-07-14 10:41:54 · answer #4 · answered by PixdeeArtist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The correct term is "honorarium," which refers to a service that a provider or pastor doesn't formally "charge" for, but for which it is customary for receivers of the service to give the provider in recognition of the time they spent sharing their time, expertise and talent. Pastors usually receive a regular salary from the congregation, so they don't "charge" for weddings or funerals. But because a pastor usually invests significant time in a wedding, such as counseling, rehearsal(s), making arrangements, in addition to the wedding day events, this is time that is no longer available to other parishioners or to the pastor's own family. An honorarium is a gift in recognition of this investment by the pastor and is more a courtesy offered by the family than a "charge" by the pastor (if a pastor demands a certain fee you might want to find a more caring and service oriented pastor). Honorariums for weddings and funerals are usually in the $100 to $200 range. The $425 you mentioned is probably to help cover the costs of the church such as the utilities, bathroom/kitchen supplies, and the custodian who opens and closes the building and cleans up afterward (and who must be paid). Remember that congregations must buy paper products and pay for electricity and air conditioning like everyone else. Church boards or trustees usually develop cost schedules for use of the building, which is separate from honorariums for pastors. Organists and soloists also receive "honorariums" as a courtesy and recognition by the family for the time and talent they invest in the family's wedding or funeral service. You should determine what the $425 covers, and if it is only for the building you should consider an honorarium gift for the pastor.
2016-03-15 03:44:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, you do not need to tip the pastor. You are paying him (quite well I might add) for a professional service he is rendering. If he is doing something far beyond what is expected I suppose you could but I can't imagine what that would be. I'd love to know where you live that a pastor can charge that much!!
My husband doesn't charge anything for members but does charge 250 for non-members but this also includes counseling which is usually done at times that are convenient for the couple...........Friday night, Saturdays etc.... his family time.
2007-07-13 16:22:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you already paid for his services, you don't need to tip him, you don't tip a doctor or a lawyer, right?. If what you paid was for the use of the church and/or the wedding ceremony itself, then a gift (notice, not a tip) to the pastor to show your appreciation would be adequate.
2007-07-13 18:06:48 · answer #7 · answered by cuteselkie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The proper thing to do would be to "tip" him. Anywhere from $50-$200 is good depending on your budget. Usually it is the best man's job to hand him the envelope after the ceremony.
Congrats on your daughter getting married!
2007-07-13 22:36:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW! That's a lot for officiating! I live in south west Missouri and my officiant is coming from Tulsa, OK and all she's charging is $175.00! No TIP! Not for that high price. Even church ministers don't charge that much. Good luck
2007-07-16 08:18:38 · answer #9 · answered by kystarlyte_kystarlight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We paid around that same amount for the priest who performed out ceremony. I did not think a tip was necessary, but my mother insisted it was. So, she gave a tip. I'm not exactly sure how much, but it was likely about $50.
2007-07-13 16:19:54 · answer #10 · answered by theMrs. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-04-21 07:09:34 · answer #11 · answered by dottie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋