when i talk to my boyfriend. he usually ends up saying a few things that hurt me, without even realizing it and if someone does something unfair towards me, instead of telling me "i see where your coming from..." he just says "do what they say." . and when i compliment him or something he'll want to say something nice back and he'll end up saying something like YOU LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL EVEN IF YOU'VE GAINED A FEW POUNDS. is it that hard to give me a compliment without making me cry!?! i don't expect him to be a poet. i just want him to be able to compliment me and MEAN IT. help!? does this mean he doesn't have anything nice to say about me? i've talked to him about it and he says he "just doesn't have a way with words" but if that was it, i wouldn't be so upset. because he wouldn't be insulting me.
2007-07-13 15:41:41 · 13 answers · asked by <3 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
WOw...
I have the same issue with my boyfriend, except that he talks very strongly and colorful, its hard to determine if he is being an *** or just bein expressive. Talking it out is the first step, but like most guys in this situation, they usually speak generically without thinking or say something like, "that not what I meant, thats just how I talk". He loves you, its just hard for some guys to get emotionally expressive like us girls. So we end up taking it hard or in another way. Its not easy to deal with, but it helps to better understand so that you wont overdramatize at something that sounds insensitive. When my boyfriend says something that I find insensitive or insulting, before screaming at him, I ask, what do you mean, can you explain. This way I get a better sense of what he is trying to say. Its not him, its just men in general...
Hope this helps:)
2007-07-13 15:48:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has problems with communicating. I have the same problem with mine. Some men are like that. It has nothing to do with the way he feels for you, he has an honest opinion and he thinks that is what you want. You have talked to him about it and if nothing has changed then you either accept him for who he is and what he is about or you let him go if you can't handle it anymore. It sucks, I know, but that's just how it goes sometimes. You can't change who he is, as much as you want to. Some men just won't change because they are afraid of it, or stubborn about it, or they just don't feel that they have to change for anyone. It will be a harsh lesson for him to learn in the future. If you let him know that you just can't take it anymore and you are willing to leave because of it, maybe that will smack some sense into him.
2007-07-13 15:52:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the way you are communicating isn't working, maybe it's time to find someone who you can communicate with.
Sit him down and explain that even if he means for the things he says to come off one way, you are recieveing them as hurtful. He'll either understand and try to work on it, or he won't and then it's time to move on.
2007-07-13 15:45:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is a very old question but he was definitely being an ***. And he knew it. Hope u learned to stay away from guys like that bc they're no good for anyone.
2016-06-10 19:49:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he is doing is known as a back handed complement. If your being upset is a pay off for him then this will continue until you stop getting upset by what he says.
2007-07-13 15:55:59 · answer #5 · answered by PrivacyNowPlease! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
awww poor girl....
i know its hard sweetie, but if he keeps hurting you and makes u cry alot.... i dont know if hes worth staying with.
i mean, relationships are supposed to make u happy,and not sad, so honestly i think u should kinda break up with this guy and find one who is more appreciative of i'm sure a very beautiful girl.
2007-07-13 15:48:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as a guy, I realize I don't communicate as effectively as the average girl. I'm better than most guys. You should be ok
2007-07-13 15:48:59 · answer #7 · answered by true_value5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you do have to have a sense of humor because maybe that is where he is coming from for just trying to make you laugh not trying to make you cry.my hubby always do it but just laugh about it
2007-07-13 15:45:30 · answer #8 · answered by MiSz.NaNa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's one of the many things guys do in relationships so...
2007-07-13 19:56:25 · answer #9 · answered by Lily R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him some light pointers teach him how to love you =]
2007-07-13 15:46:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋