How would you feel? If at your wedding?

Question

your drunk father who you always loved, told you you weren't his child? And your mother had an affair on him?


I asked this a few days ago, and got more questions than answers. Here are some answers to those questions
1.yes my parents are still together, and my dad loves my mom.
2. The DNA test ( he did not want to take it) proved what he said was true.
3. I am the third youngest of four boys
4. he has drank ever since I could remember, but was never abusive
5. he never treated me different than my brothers, at all.
6.John (my oldest brother) told me that he knew this fact- but thought he'd be buried knowing it. I asked him to let me know, he did.
7. I do see Mom in a little different light.

John also thinks the drinking is his way to "deal" with the fact my Mom did this to him. I never realized before that my mom and my oldest brother do have a problem with one another.

He did not tell me this in front of everybody!! It was at the wedding, but the only other person in earshot was my brother (the best man)

Answer 1

I wouldn't feel to happy about it. I bet he doesn't feel to happy with himself for saying it either. He probably wishes he never said it but alcohol can make you do and say things that you wouldn't have said sober. Talk to him about it and your mom. I can tell it really hurt you but you need to go talk to them before it drives wedge between you. By the way, if he never treated you any different than your brother, it means he loves no different.

Answer 2

Well I'd feel pretty cr*ppy. But does it really matter in the long run? You love your dad, and a father is a father from the heart not the DNA. While he fricken owes you an apology for being a complete a** at your wedding, he's a drunk. Ask (don't demand) for an apology (he won't think of it).

Your mom is human, she made a mistake. But she raised you no differently than any of her other children, and you are still the 3rd youngest of four boys. Your brothers are your brothers. I mean really what was your brother John supposed to do? What a weight for a kid to have on his shoulders, you need to forgive him for not knowing the right thing to do.

Ok so now you know. For what its worth, life is too short to worry about this stuff. Your parents love you, your brothers love you, nothing has changed except that things aren't what you thought they were. And your dad's timing really sucks.

You are now married, and a husband. Soon you will be a father. These things will give you some perspective on life and how things sometimes aren't what we would like them to be.

Don't let this stand in the way of your happiness. Best wishes.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry you found out that way. Your Mom made a mistake and your father forgave him. The love your father has for her (and you!) is inspiring. So many couples cheat and break up. But your parents found a way to work it out. It was a mistake that happened so many years ago and your Mom was probably in a totally different place at that time. She knew that the best thing -for you- was to stay with her husband and let him be a father to you. Maybe you should sit down and have a talk with your Mom. Be prepared- She probably has a lot of guilt she's been carrying around. I'm sure she's tried to tell you, or wanted to, but never knew the right way to tell you. And both your parents probably figured you would never find out and didn't want you to hurt emotionally by telling you. Your father will always be your father. Love him the same as he loves you.

Answer 4

You suggested it your self. Your wedding ceremony is on the backside of the checklist for each individual. The Vegas wedding ceremony would be a short-lived little bit of leisure. Your dad's notion should not be a biggie as he's finished this in the past and you're his little female. a toddler is a blessing and could be celebrated and asserting they'll attempt back on the instant does not advise a concern. She would come to a variety that a wee toddler is handful adequate for a pair of years. she will possibly not conceive as somewhat as she thinks, etc. additionally - gown varieties substitute and a year from now you would be able to as properly see dresses that make your modern determination seem uninteresting. loosen up. After the different wedding ceremony is over, the toddler has arrived, Dad is engaged and you notice your wedding ceremony date looming closer to 6 or 8 months away, then you certainly can get loopy over dresses for the bridesmaids. Spend the subsequent 6 months going to wedding ceremony exhibits and taking section on your engagement. as long as your guy is sweet, you have the venue and photographer booked, you may defer the rigidity!

Answer 5

It's not going to happen to me, because something similar already did. For me, it happened in a few stages over several years, just not all at once. If I heard that at my wedding, I think I'd take my wife and try and make an exit as soon as I could without making it difficult on her. I'd just want to get away from my whole family, but I wouldn't tell my wife until the day after, because I wouldn't want to ruin her day too. Especially her wedding day.

Answer 6

Well ........ he didn't say it in front of everyone!!
He probably said it because it was a big day for you and felt guilty for not having told you the truth!!
He loved you all the same
Your parents still love each other all the same!!
Where is your problem?

Parents are not always the ones who give birth to us ...... but those parents who raise us are greater in all aspects! Respect the fact that they have loved you equally!

Answer 7

It's a shame that your father had to tell you this on your wedding day. It's also sad that he's usually drunk. To his credit, he never treated you any differently than his blood sons, meaning that he loves you as his own. He has raised you as his own and, for all practical purposes, he is your father. Your parents should have told you if, for no other reason, for medical history. If I were you, I wouldn't see my father any differently. He hasn't treated you any differently than his other sons. As for your mother, I guess you'll have to talk to her and see what she has to say.

Answer 8

Damn, what a way to ruin a wedding day memory. Good that you know now, but not the right day to air the family's dirty laundry, should have waited till Thanksgiving, LOL. You need to "vent" your feelings so they don't ruin your relationship with your Mom, there are 2 sides to every story...

Answer 9

Tell him if he had not been such a drunk, his wife may not have sought comfort in the arms of another man.This may get him to think a little.There is NO justification for what he did at your wedding.Tell him he owes you an apology and you want nothing to do with him until you get one.