please help me with my lowlife theif of a crappy neighbor!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

my dumb, fat neighbor is a pain in the ###!!! for starters, when i am not home, he jumps my fence with a ladder that i havent seen in my garage in a while.. and uses my pool, according to a trusty neighbor. he hangs out in my yard all day!! he runs an extension cord from my outside outlet to his house. and to make it even better, he uses my hose and water to water his lawn. when the mail comes, he is the first to sort through it. i dont know why he would even want to read my mail. when he has parties, he instructs guests to park in my driveway and lawn. his wife is also a *****. i caught her grocery shopping in my kitchen!!! the police cant do anything about it. (so they say). we have really crappy police. there are only about 4 cops and they can never be counted on because the spend time at the diner and coffee house. what are some good ideas (funny) that i could do to get him to stop taking advantage of me??? by the way, i lock my doors and have changed the locks a handful of times

Answer 1

take a crap on his front steps and leave a note that says
" you can use MY vacuum to clean this up!!!!"

orrrr....
tell ur neighbors that you are going out, and ask them to water your lawn or something. then, hide in the house in a suit (gorilla?). when he comes in, then jump out at him and bite him in the butt.
one more....
have sex with his wife and then say, "you use my crap, so i use yours!!"


or simply move!!!

Answer 2

Electric fence, the type they use to keep cattle inside the barb wire. Shocks the heck out of them when they touch it. If he leans the ladder,(aluminum I hope), on the fence and is barefoot, WOW, he'll never do that again! Make sure you put the unit where he can't steal it.

The night of one of his parties, spread those felt roofing nails all over your driveway. They are little short nails with a colored plastic washer, normally orange, but spray them black or driveway (concrete) Grey. Anyone that pulls into your driveway will get at least two flats.

Set up a security camera high up on your roof, and catch him
in your pool. Save the film for a threatened lawsuit.

Turn off the electricity to the outlet when you leave. also, the water. To be very nasty, re-wire the outlet if you can , to 220 volts. When he goes to use it, it will destroy any 110 volt thing he plugs it into.

Reading or tampering with someones mail is a federal offense. If you can get a picture of him doing it, Show it to the local Postmaster.

If you lock your doors and she or he break the locks and enters, that too is a crime. You must for your own safety set up a spy camera.

Answer 3

Get an alarm system for the house, and arm it all the time.

I would get a motion sensor for your yard, they sell them to scare animals, but anytime someone comes on your lawn the sprinklers come on.

Have some signs made up that say - "Stay CLEAR of Pool Water - Water Treatment - DANGEROUS to anything Human"

If you have lawn chairs or chaise lounges, I would sprinkle them with itching powder all over, so that they spend the rest of their night itching.

As for the hose - there is a device that goes around the knob you turn the water on with, that you can put a lock on, so no one but you with a key can use your hose and water. Get a locking mail box, they are good for security purposes.

You should still file a complaint with the Police and the Post Office - what they are doing is wrong.

Have signs posted on your property visible from all angles, NO TRESPASSING.....

Good Luck!

Answer 4

Start adding up the cost of his using these utilities, address him about this, let him conitnue for a month, then take him to court.

An alarm sytem or hiring a security gaurd for a week might stop those visits to your kitchen from your neighbor.

Call the FBI to investigate why he is inspecting your mail, that is illegal and a federal offense, with a penalty of jail time.

Chain off your driveway and fence in your lawn so noone can park there. Or deflate their tires and when noone can leave, call the police.

Call the state police and inform them of your town's police situation, if they don't listen go to a politician, it sounds like your neighborhood is dangerous and your cops don't care.

See if an electrician can disable the outside outlet for a while.

Turn off the water when he uses your hose.

If you could put dye in the pool that would be pretty funny... like blue dye for tye dye... put a few packets of that in your pool and next time you see him he will be blue... heh heh...

Answer 5

This is terrible...I think I would have to move away, regardless of inconvenience. Firstly I would demand the police do something about it. Look into your rights before approaching the police, that way when they say they can't do anything you can argue your point with facts which once they know you are aware, they may do something about it but with your neighbours being total jerks will they then retaliate and make things worse for you? Secondly, I would go to court and ensure this man has an injunction put out on him where by law, he is not allowed on your property. Put away all your garden equiptment so he can't get his grubby hands on it. Turn off your power supply from in the house when you go out. If either of them knock, ignore them or at least don't let them in! If he manages to get into your home whilst you are out, phone the police and report a break in. Cover and secure your swimming pool whilst you are not using it. Can you not show him a bit of the same? Spend a week or two getting over comfortable with his home and contents and see if it makes him realise what he is doing. I assume you have tried speaking to him about this? Does he do it to other neighbours? If he does then make a joint complaint to the police..there is power in numbers! If none of this works, I would drown him in my pool and chuck him back over his fence to rot..lol..(please dont really do this!)

I wish you the best of luck.. I can't imagine what this feels like.. It must be hell for you. I think I would have a breakdown!!

Answer 6

Man, I am so sorry. That is horrible. I know this may sound stupid, but try calling the local news team and have them do an expose' on terrible neighbors and trespassing and the lack of police support. Then at least you could embarass them and show everyone in your local metropolitan area how tacky they are. That's all I can think of. Good Luck!

Wait, I got a better idea! Get a Rotweiler! Two! One for the inside and one for outside :-)

Answer 7

if this is true you should move.....or

put dye in your pool
get a house alarm system
build a barb wire fence around your entire property
get your kids (or just you) to let out all the air in their tires, so they will be stuck there, and need to be towed.
eat out at a friends house until you have no more food for them to steal.
get like 8 tiny chihauas that dont shut up and have then live outside in your backyard

good luck and have fun!

Answer 8

they sell cameras at wal-mat that you can put in the window and record you back yard they are reasonbly priced about 45 dollars or somthing and work well you can hook it thru you vcr then will have video proof..
homeland security is the name of the company that makes them
i think you can find these on the web as well as you might look up a company called spy supply,
also they sell these tabs for people with kids in there pool that turns red when you pee in the pool i was curious if your neighbor bieng such a butt was warming it up for you!!
good luck

Answer 9

I like the answer the other one gave, film him.
But what you should do is the same thing to him that he is doing to you.
Use his water hose
Let your friends park on his lawn
If you know what time the mailman comes. be out there a half hour ahead of time, etc.
If all else fails,
Knock the crap out of him.

Answer 10

put piranhas in ur pool, put some of those thing on the doorknob to electricute people, put nails, sharp nails all over your lawn when you know he`s starting a party, then send urself a letter saying "you`ve just won a million dollars" in the front and see if he takes it, then put a small mouse trap in it..that`ll keep his hands to himslef