well this is wut happened we were supposed to go to the movie right so my sis and dad where in the car just joking around and he said "sweety i think u should be a little careful about your weight" NOW i know this sounds mean but he was only trying to tell her something that was worring for a long time
and she started to cry (of course) and so she was like i want to go home and so we dropped her off and started to go into town and he got SOOOO sad and said he had made a mistake and he started to cry and it made me REALLY sad and he said he was just trying to tell her about something that was bothering him for a while and it's not like he came out and said YOUR FAT!! i dont know wut to say to her she is mad and crying HELP!!! please dont say anything mean! im allready sad :(
2007-07-13 12:43:16 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
he apoligize but she will not forgive him
and it makes him feel worse
2007-07-13 13:06:30 · update #1
Aww. Sweetie, it's ok! Don't worry about it. Your sister got her feelings hurt and your dad didn't do it on purpose! They'll probably have a talk and figure it out :) There's not much you can do besides be supportive of her! I grew up as an overweight child and my parents sometimes said things like that! I know where she's coming from. Trust me, she'll feel better in a bit, though she probably will always be concerned about her weight.
2007-07-13 12:52:53 · answer #1 · answered by Cochy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I may get some thumbs down for this, but talk to your sister and just tell her half the time, men really don't know how to talk to women and they may say something and not mean it the way we take it. He should have done it alone and not on the way somewhere. Tell her she is not fat and he loves her. I do think he should apologize, she probably knows this already and having your parent say it probably hurts a little more.
Just tell her there are things said in life that cant be taken back but you need to forgive him because his intention was not to humiliate you. Give it time it will get better, but they definitely need to communicate about it.
I am forever telling my husband, think before you speak. They want to say something and blurt it out without really thinking about how it will make the other person feel. He may have been thinking about it for a long time, but did not think about how to say it.
2007-07-13 20:12:12 · answer #2 · answered by Miss Coffee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents are human and they make mistakes. Your dad is a guy, and guys make really stupid mistakes sometimes. Talk to your dad first and tell him that saying that to your sister is like if he told a grown woman "that dress looks fat on you". He should understand that no man in his right mind would say that to a woman.
Suggest he just go apologize to your sister and tell her that he loves her and made a mistake. Tell him not to bring up the weight issue again, but think about ways that you all can avoid food that adds weight and how to do things that are more active. Like instead of a movie, how about swimming or hiking?
Tell your sister that your dad is very upset that he hurt her cause that's not what he meant at all. Tell her that guys sometimes say stupid things without thinking and that's what happened. Its a guy thing, they all do it. Tell her to forgive your dad.
Good luck and thanks for being a good sister/daughter.
2007-07-13 20:00:31 · answer #3 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can identify with how your sister felt. It wasn't my father who would say things about my weight (he lived almost 2,000 miles away). It was grandmother who would say it. She would tell me my rearend was getting too big, and that I needed to get down on the floor and roll a lot, and the fat would probably come off. She shook her booty when she showed me another way, to spend a lot of time shaking my rear-end and it would help reduce it.
I told her that her saying things like that made me feel like eating more and risk getting fatter. I told her it hurt.
I am up to a place that I am again obese. I have lost weight 2 times, and for some of us it is hard. For me, food was used as something given to make me feel better, to treat me in a special way. My great aunt was the one who did that. She would make pudding, and have 2 or 3 dishes of it for me. She would keep on saying that I was a big girl and had to eat more.
So I developed bad eating habits, and the feelings I used to get from food often raise their ugly head, and it doesn't register easily why I'm eating things.
I think it would be good for your sister and dad, and perhaps the whole family, see a nutritionist, and talk over between you what part food plays in rewards, in penalties, etc. Is your sister having problems with being teased in school? I know I did, and when I tried talking to my mother about it, she said school is school and home is home and she didn't want to hear anything about how I was treated at school. She said she went through it herself, and she just didn't want to talk about it.
I hope you all get this straightened out, and you sister should realize your father wasn't trying to shame your sister, he was trying to help her see she needed to come to realize that it is very easy to overdo it as to calorie intake.
Hoping for the best ,
Pava
2007-07-14 19:02:53 · answer #4 · answered by pava7065 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is really nothing more that can be done. Your father did the right and honorable thing and apologized right away and that shows he really cares. Your sister is being over sensitive as most people with weight issues are. Hopefully, she will forgive and realize that he didn't mean what she heard.
2007-07-13 20:32:29 · answer #5 · answered by Sciencemom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how your Dad reacted when he realized he "messed up" by not thinking before he spoke. I would also express that "Parents aren't perfect". Then get on the phone to "Dad" and tell him he needs to apologies for such a "rude" remark and that you spoke to Sis and calmed her down some but he needs to fix this.
2007-07-13 19:56:49 · answer #6 · answered by nancie_usa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can just tell that he didn't mean to make her sad he was just worried about her and that he cares for her and he would never make her feel bad and then just say how you feel b/c she might ask so you can be prepared. but goodluck and tell your sis that everyone says things that can go either way she just misunderstood your dad i hope she feels better.
2007-07-13 19:51:56 · answer #7 · answered by v-ball_chick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your sis is the one who should apologise . not your dad . He only tried to tell her something that only a family member can tell her she needs to do something about her weight.she will get over it have no fear and she knows her dad is right .
2007-07-13 21:46:01 · answer #8 · answered by Shark 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The three of you should all talk and tell her she is not fat he was just worrying about her.
2007-07-13 20:26:01 · answer #9 · answered by b_lingscheit 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think u should talk to her and tell her what he really meant to say but first you might want to let her have some time alone to think about it. good luck. hope this helped and hope she feels better!!
2007-07-13 20:04:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋