I'm playing a preview round at Bandon's newest golf course, Bandon Crossings: http://www.bandoncrossing...
I need golfing insults and jokes to entertian the rest of the foursome.
2007-07-13 08:56:55 · 5 answers · asked by jbrandtc 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
When they leave a putt short ask "Does your husband play golf too?"
If they have trouble keeping it in the fairway refer to it as "military golf" (right, left, right, left)
Remind them of the saddest words in golf. "It's still your turn"
When they lose a ball - Golf joke: "I was playing golf with a guy who had the most amazing golf ball. It was impossible to lose! If you hit it in the water, it would float. If you shanked it into the rough, it made a beeping sound that got louder so you could track it down. You could even play with it at night because it glowed in the dark. I told him, "That is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! I'd sure like to get a ball like that myself. Where can I buy one of those?" He said, "I don't know. I found this one on the course last week."
2007-07-13 09:41:57 · answer #1 · answered by Chewie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I played golf in a regional tournament in high school, I didn't do so well. The majority of the time, by ball found it's way into the sand traps on the course. My coach would say "You spend more time in the sand than David Hasselhoff!" I like the Wal-Mart joke and the 10 things that sound dirty in golf but aren't.
2016-05-17 05:05:59 · answer #2 · answered by marjorie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first bad shot. suggest they use the ladies tees.
If the keep the balls in the cart. Steel them then ask to borrow one. If it works they will say they don't have any balls.
When somone has a great drive down the middle of the fairway make sure you give them a smashee(step on their ball and smash it into the ground.
Get a fake golf ball that explodes when you hit it. If you take a mulligan ask to borrow a ball from one of them and they throw you the gag ball. It is GREAT fun.
2007-07-13 09:01:08 · answer #3 · answered by Sports fan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two men are out golfing, teeing off on a hole near the road. As a funeral procession passes on the road, the one golfer puts down his club, takes off his hat and bows his head. After the funeral passes, the other guy says "wow, that was very respectful". The first guy says "well...I was married to her for over 40 years".
2007-07-13 09:24:02 · answer #4 · answered by listen68 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This one is funny
http://www.golfun.net/joke19.htm
Just from that site.
2007-07-13 09:13:22 · answer #5 · answered by Books books books! 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋