i am HURT, do I speak my feelings to the individual who offended me?????

Question

I am a rgular at an upscale local dining establishment, the owner in the midst of a friend and other regular clientele, said some very offensive comments regarding a "tab" from the PAST, and I do mean past, several months ago this incident took place, but needless to say this owner I feel illustrated no class or respect what would you do, speak your mind or say forget about and plant my interests at another place and take it as a lesson learned or what? how do I handle this?

I HAVE NO OUTSTANDING TAB FROM THE PAST, NEVER DID, I JUST DONT FEEL LIKE EXPLAINING ANYMORE DETAIL THIS IS CUT AND DRY, THANK YOU ALL SINCERELY

Answer 1

I would go elsewhere, let them know why and not recommend them to any of my friends.

Answer 2

OK what do you want out of a confrontation? An apology? Well, the damage has already been done - by you for running a tab in the first place.

That said, he should have been professional enough not to say anything at all about it - especially in your presence.

So, become a regular at a different establishment. I'm sure the food is just as good and the service more professional.

When the offender asks why you haven't been seen lately - take him aside and ask if he really wants to know - if he says yes, then tell him calmly what happened and how bad it made you feel and that you're sorry for inconveniencing him over the tab so much that he had to make disparaging remarks about you in public.

Then still frequent the other place instead of his.

Answer 3

Offense taken at words spoken is very subjective! How can you possibly be affected by the words of a mindless cretin if the utterances have caused you no monetary or physical loss? When you let the asinine chatter of an individual affect you, the one who needs to rethink things is you. I am not saying that you should not be assertive! You should tell the person what you think about the comments but you should not be let those comments dictate your conduct in the form of a blatant retaliation. Keep calm, tell this person your views and don't frequent that eatery again. There are other places who will appreciate your patronage more!

Answer 4

the first way i suppose, but only first the majority, still better off, iv been the last to be picked many times, always feel insulted, mainly because im actually good at sports, no one knew that, however i must point out ''you would also improve and move up the picking scale'' is untrue, generally the ones picked last are ignored and never get a go at whats being played, rarely improve therefor, in school i was picked last for year and years, never changed

Answer 5

Set up an appointment with this individual. Discuss the error of the past tab ( if it was an error on your part admit it, you will feel better... everyone errors at one time or another, it is learning from one's errors that is crucial)), and also bring up the part of gossiping to others. This is the time to set the record straight. You must act professional. courteous, respectful, and be a good listener. When the other person explains their point of view whether good or bad; place feelings aside and end it with a clean and simple cut.... let it go... talk, explain, listen...move on... feel better!

Allow each side to discuss their point of view. Then, part ways knowing that you were heard and, also respected the other enough to hear them out.

Then, you can continue to patronage this establishment if you wish or move on elsewhere with a clean mind... of what was done, is settled...time to move on.

Answer 6

I would suggest talking to the person about the incident in private and see if the situation can be resolved. Most likely the owner didn't think it was a major offense. And if he or she did mean it to offend and doesn't at least apologize I would definitely let it go at that point and move on. If he or she does apologize, let bygones be bygones. But if he or she does it again, you might want to look somewhere else. Just be careful not to be accusational and/or confrontational if you do talk with this person.

Answer 7

I don't know what the proper answer is, but I would start by writing a letter to the owner, then editing it, then rewriting it. Think before you send it, but use it to figure out what to say to the owner. Make sure your old tab is PAID before you say anything.

I'd stop going to that restaurant, and make sure that the owner and manager know why you are no longer a patron.

Answer 8

If you have an outstanding tab from the past, regardless of how long ago it was, you owe it to that man to pay up. Obviously, it is really bothering him. After that, if it's apparent that you've burned that bridge, go find another restaurant and, as a matter of pride, pay your tabs.

Answer 9

If it wasn't worth speaking up about when it actually happened, then drop it and move on. Go eat elsewhere and only deal with it if it comes up somehow, like he runs into you somewhere and asks you. Otherwise, just move on.

Answer 10

Quit being a wuss and speak up! Nobody is going to do it for you, you will fell better about it after and will still be able to keep going to your regular place. He was in the wrong in this case but he is hurt too thats why he said.....trust me talk it out u will feel better!

Answer 11

Sounds like you never paid your tab. I'd be angry at you too - you ripped him off. He has no reason to respect you for you did not respect him. Pay your tab & he should treat you right, if not, go somewhere else.