Is it bad to have my wedding 4 hours away from home?

Question

I live in a VERY small town and recently found a castle about 4 hours from where I live in a much larger city. It is very reasonably priced for the ceremony and reception all in the castle and it's absolutely beautiful. Problem is, my fiance would rather not get married there because he thinks most of our guests won't show up. My close friends who I've mentioned this to say they will definitely be there, and since most of our guests live out of the state anyway, I think that it's really not that much of a difference to them. Those ones pry wouldn't have shown up anyway. I understand his concern but at the same time I know it would be a dream come true to get married in a castle! And I'll only have a wedding once, I want it to be beautiful. I realize it's more of the love for your partner than the actual location, but I just think it would be so beautiful. And if we get married in our home town, the church he's picked out isn't that nice in my opinion. Opinions please?

Answer 1

You and your fiance will have to work it out together. After all, it's HIS wedding too. Find a place you are both comfortable with. If you do decide to have it at the castle, no, it's not a problem that it's 4 hours away from home. Lots of people have weddings away from home. Just expect that you'll need to stay there for a few nights before the wedding itself to get everything ready. You'll also need to make several trips in advance to make sure you've got a florist, caterer, photographer, hair stylist, etc. in that area. The planning will be a little harder for you than having a wedding close to home. Also remember that all of your guests will probably need to spend the night in this other town, so you'll need a BIG block of hotel rooms somewhere, and you may get fewer/smaller gifts because they are spending more on the hotel room.

Just thoughts to consider. In the end, you both need to agree on the location. If you don't like the church he's picked, but he wants to get married at home, see if there are any other pretty spots you can agree on closer to home.

Answer 2

As the bride, you can have your wedding anywhere you want, providing your parents/family etc., is ok with it (if they are paying for it). It is helpful to have your future husband on board, though, it is a bit of problem to start off your future together in a fight over the location. Having said all that, a couple of things you might consider. First, time the wedding so that people coming from your home town can drive there and return in the same day if they can't or don't want to spend the night. Second, call around and see if you can get a hotel or motel close to the castle to offer a "group rate" for rooms for your wedding party and guests. Even if you agree to get married at home, you and your husband should be in agreement on the church. Most churchs don't offer their chapel/sanctuary unless you attend or are a member, or at the very least agree to their marriage counseling sessions. Who would be officiating the ceremony at the castle? If you were going to go with a civil ceremony, you dont have to get married in a church, you can choose a park, the backyard of a friend, get married at home, etc. Finally, guests usually don't attend weddings because it is convenient and the food is free.. They go because they want to share your wedding day with you. These people are the ones you want anyway. Whatever you and your husband choose, do it in a spirit of unity. While the focus of the day is on the bride, the focus of the event is your future life together, and you want to enter into as a couple, not as "all about me" individuals. Good luck, and God bless your marriage.

Answer 3

The only thing I'll say is a 4 hour drive is in that odd range where people won't know if they want to stay for the weekend or drive 4 hours to get home after the reception. Keep this in mind as you plan. An evening wedding might not be a great idea since a lot of people wont want to spend another $100 on a hotel and will drive 4 hours home after the reception. Stick to a ceremony around noon or 2 and a reception in the afternoon.

Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 4

There are two things people do not mind going long distance for: Weddings and Babies!! Make a guest list and see who from your small town would have to drive the 4 hours. Of those people, how many would not attend because of the distance? If your inviting 50 guests, and 10 are from the small town, and only 2 can't make it, the decide with your fiance if it's worth changing your wedding dreams for these two people. Chances are, once he sees that it's not a problem for the majority of the guests, he will go along with it.
Also, those coming from out of town will find lodging easier in a larger city then a "VERY small town"
Let us know what happens!

Answer 5

I had a 'similar' dilemma....no castle, but the church my fiance and I had wanted at first was 3 hours away from the guests on my side of the family. My parents gently requested that we consider a compromise in order to allow more of my side to be able to make it. My fiance and I decided to move the wedding to a location that was midway between his hometown and mine, and though our location we've chosen doesn't have the same charm as the original spot, what's most important to us is having as many of our guests be able to make it and share the day with us.
I'd say it's up to you, but it might not hurt to at least be open minded to check out the possiblities in an area of more convenience. You never know the neat options you'll find. But if your heart is set on a castle (cuz what a cool idea!!), then go for it, and the guests will for the most part make the trip.

Answer 6

I was kind of in the same situiation as you in that I wanted my wedding one place (my hometown) and my fiance wanted it another place (his hometown - we lived 2 hours apart). His major concern was that he was inviting twice the amount of guests as I was because his family is HUGE, and was afraid that if the wedding was near me and my family, they wouldn't come. In the end I gave in to him because the price was a lot cheaper there, but only after I realized that the people who really care about you and want to see you get married will go. It doesnt matter where the ceremony is. If guests are coming from out of state anyway, I cant see how it will make much difference to them anyway. Tell your fiance that if these people really care about him, they'll come to his wedding. If he's still concerned, try to set up a car pool or have transportation available for the guests. This may help some who are iffy about the traveling be more apt to attend.

Answer 7

It's your wedding!!!!! If it is on the invitation and your not changing it the day before then it is no big deal. This is truly your day and the people that love you will do their best to be there no matter what. TIP: Call a hotel and tell them your getting married and will need a block of rooms. That way all your family and friends can stay in the same hotel together and the hotels usually give a great rate because of how many rooms you are booking. (The guest will pay for their own rooms, you just estimate how many rooms you will need) And put the hotel on your invitation, so your guest can call and reserve themselves.

Answer 8

The wedding will go a lot smoother if you agree on it.. but you could point out lots of ppl have weddings thousands of miles away, i think it also really depends on what time you are having it.. if you are having an evening wedding, and you know your guests will be driving, that is pretty difficult on them, unless you know they would get a hotel room. And if you are sure ppl won't be making it, but you really want them too, i'd say do it closer, try looking at other neutral locations, in between the castle and your home town and maybe find one you can compromise on

Answer 9

way too plenty cocktail hour, people would be so finished and so bombed, there heavily isn't everybody at your wedding ceremony. in case you are able to initiate it a couple of minutes formerly you will possibly, or a least enable people are available and take a seat, that is magnificent. maximum folk will go abode, or visit a action picture, or something to fill the time. Rivers went to a marriage that became into precisely a million hour from my abode. And an hour back. wager how long the destroy between the marriage and the reception became into? 2 hours, nicely it became into meant to be. It became into greater like 3! And the reception became into in a private club that would not serve something to everybody till it became into time for the reception. The bride had have been given us permission to be there and take a seat there, yet no foodstuff or drink except you have been a club member. Gee, at that element, they might have made a killing off persons, charging a pair dollars for some soda. and particularly because of the fact the club became into way out in the sticks, it became right into a 20 minutepersistent just to come again into city. We had no thought the place we've been, and the place the closest good bar became into. all of us was hoping the bride have been given the area magnificent and much less high priced, because of the fact it became into so a procedures faraway from the church, and city. Do be waiting with ideas on some golf equipment or video clips or entertainment in the instant section for people like Rivers who had no purpose of utilising abode, and turning around in the driveway and coming appropriate back.

Answer 10

If most of your guests won't show up, what's the point? Sounds like your fantasy wedding is more important than your fiance's feelings.
Don't forget that if you need to go to the location to finalize things, make arrangements, organize deliveries, or decorations, you're going to be driving 8 hours round-trip to do it. And how many times will you do that? And if you forget something, you're really going to be stuck.
Do you plan to pay for your friends and family to stay in a hotel, or do you expect them all to drive out 4 hours, go to your wedding/reception and then drive home 4 hours? I hope you don't serve alcohol then.
You can't have your wedding too early, because people will have to leave at 7am to get there, but if you start too late, people will have to drive 4 hours home at midnight.

When people came from out of state for my wedding, they stayed with family members. Where will yours stay?