Emergency, what's the proper etiquette???

Question

I attended a bridal shower where I gave a gift of $50.00 for Frederick's of Hollywood. Tonight is the wedding and do I give another gift?

Answer 1

Gifts are NOT required. They are gestures. I do not expect gifts from everyone at my wedding.. esp if they have already given me a gift. No one will know if you don't, if money is an issue, dont worry about a gift. The couple will be happy that you came.. not to mention they will both be happy about your earlier gift.

Answer 2

Once upon a time you would give a gift for the home, to help a couple of lesser means get established. Now in most cases the couples are already living together, has everything they need and buying them a blender would be redundant and unwanted.

So what do you do?

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

Relatives, what context is your relation to the Bride or Groom? If it is your sister or brother I think a gift is in order but if it is a third cousin you haven’t seen in ten years you might want to think about giving a small token.

Co-workers, is this someone that you are close to and socialize outside of work? Then a gift is a good idea even if you decline the invitation to the wedding. If this is a co-worker that invited the entire office? A combined gift is an option in this case but still not an obligation.

Friend of the family, is this someone that you watched grow up, someone that as a child played with your children? I would say a gift is in order here if the relationship is still a close one, but if they moved away and have not kept in contact for an extended period of time then it is your option at that point.

In any case remember that a wedding gift is not mandatory, though the majority of wedding goers will want to bring a little something. Follow your heart and your wallet and never feel that it is an obligation otherwise there maybe resentment toward the Bride or Groom and that is never a good thing.

Answer 3

Actually you do not have to give a gift at the wedding or the shower. Ask Carley answered it as:
. I always thought that if you were invited to the bridal shower and brought a gift that you were then not expected to buy a wedding gift, but a friend recently told me she thinks this isn't the case. Who's right?

A. Here's the deal with wedding gifts: Technically, you aren't obligated to ever get the couple anything. If you do get them a gift, you're just expressing your goodwill and support of their marriage. That said, most to-be-weds and wedding guests alike consider wedding gifts obligatory. Bridal showers are somewhat different-- though the same rules apply, since it is technically a gift-giving party, one would be remiss to show up empty-handed unless the hosts have declared it a gift-less shower (believe it or not, these do ever happen -- sometimes a party is just a party). That's why for years the etiquette was that no one in the bride's family could host the shower, since people perceived that as a greedy grab for additional wedding gifts. Never the less, bringing a gift to the shower does not technically constitute a "get out of gift free" pass for the wedding. That said, if you want to give the couple a gift at the shower but not at the wedding, that's your prerogative and you are not wrong for doing so. If you're worried you'll seem cheap with only one gift (not that that's at all the case), the easiest solution is to simply split your gift-giving budget between the shower and the wedding rather than overextending your finances to buy two full-scale gifts.

Answer 4

I am shocked at how many people responded and said you didn't have to give another gift. Of course you do!!! The shower is something extra for the bride. It has nothing to do with the wedding gift for the bride and groom. If you couldn't afford both you should have spent less on the shower gift. If you want to lose a friend then take nothing but if you don't want everyone talking about how rude you are then you have to take one. I don't agree with it but it's the right thing to do.

Answer 5

While technically gifts are always optional, it is customary to provide one. You are attending two separate events, so you give two gifts. The whole point of a wedding shower is to bring gifts. That was a shower gift. Now is the wedding, and you give a wedding gift. Since you were generous with the shower gift, you needn't feel obligated to give another generous gift--perhaps choose something from their register, or a sentimental type of gift (cut glass vase, silver photo frame...).

Answer 6

Yep, you absolutely do! If you've already maxed-out your gift-giving budget, you can give something smaller this time, but you need to give something as a token of your appreciation for being invited to the wedding. Also, the bridal shower gift was really to the bride. The wedding gift is to the bride and groom together.

Answer 7

I did this same thing-spent $50 on a Pampered Chef gift,and realized at the last minute that you also bring a another gift.
I went to TJ Maxx, bought the couple a glass water pitcher for $20, and will never make this mistake again.

Suck it up, buy another gift, and learn from your mistakes.

Answer 8

Yes, you were very kind to do that.
Check out and see what they haven't gotten from their registry -
or a gift card to Target is fine - they can get something they didn't - or I always felt the cash was great, but a gift is a wonderful thing to have thru the years it makes them think of you - so look in to what they asked for and see if you can get it.

Answer 9

Yes, you should give a gift at the wedding also. Since you already gave a gift card, give cash/check in a card. It's simple and cash is never a gift that is frowned upon.

Answer 10

Alot of people will say yes.. Personally I have only been to one wedding where they have had a bridal party.. And I didnt give anything at the wedding..

I always give a set of beautiful frames (3)... BUt you could just give $50 cash..