Our October wedding is coming up and I took charge of mailing the invitations. Roughly 250 invitations needed to be mailed & out of that 175 were in a 50 mile radius.
In an effort to cut wedding costs, I decided to deliver the 175 in the immediate 50 mile radius myself. That is roughly a savings of $72.00 dollars in stamps.
I did not even think to tell my fiancé and just said they were mailed. She then started getting calls from the invitees asking how the invitations got to their mailboxes without a stamp.
I explained the saved money & she blew a gasket. She had start telling the people asking that I self delivered them. She said it is embarrassing this needs to be explained & we come off looking cheap.
Also said some complained I went on their property to their mailbox.
All I did is save a few dollars. Why is my wife so angry?
2007-07-13 06:29:34 · 33 answers · asked by Billy Jack H 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Technically you are not supposed to put things inside people's mailboxes unless you are working for the post office. A better option would have been to personally hand deliver those that you could. Knock on the door and hand it to them.
I don't really see where you saved that much money. How much did it cost you when you factor in gas and your time? All that for $72?
What you're going to have to do is suck it up and be the silly, clueless husband who thought that was a great idea but now you know it's not. Hopefully everyone including your new wife will laugh it off. I would. But you know people are going to be talking about that one for a long time "can you believe the guy drove around and put them in the mailboxes himself just to save a few bucks?!" LOL!
2007-07-13 08:31:35 · answer #1 · answered by Amy P 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The average wedding invitation costs anywhere from 3 to 6 dollars each, once stamps, envelopes, enclosures and everything else is factored in. Your bride may be upset because you two spent a lot of money on invitations, and then hand delivered them without stamps, making them look cheap. Also, if you saved money on stamps (Which I doubt, considering that gas is 3 dollars per gal. in some places) did you bother to put stamps on your inside RSVP cards? Again, that looks cheap if you didn't, and the bride is going to be looked at as being at fault...since we brides typically are the people planning these events. Just so you know, the only invitations that should be hand delivered are possibly immediate family, occasionally co workers. If you are going to hand deliver these to co workers, you give them the invite, say "Here, I'd like you to have this"...and LEAVE. Do not make the co worker feel like they need to respond or react while you are standing there.
Having said that, your wife to be needs to get over it. It happened, it is done, and she needs to just move on.
2007-07-13 07:53:44 · answer #2 · answered by Kat 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must have done A LOT of driving to deliver all of those. Even within a 50 mile radius 175 invites is a lot to hand deliver. With the price of gas did you actually save money? Plus, time=money. I don't know, unless you actually did the math and know you saved money it does seem ridiculous that you didn't just mail them. I too would wonder how my invite go to me without postage and would probably call to ask.
How did you hand deliver all those without your fiance knowing? You didn't even mention it? This all just seems a little weird.
EDIT:: I agree with other posters, if you were going to go through the trouble or driving 50 miles to "hand deliver" and invite you should have HAND DELIVERED it and just just stick it in the mail box. People probably would have been touched that you came all that way to give it to them instead of shocked and kind of weirded out when an envelope just showed up in their mailbox without any postage.
I guess whats done is done though. Your fiance should move on. Its not going to "ruin the wedding" unless it offended some people enough that they're not comming. Though you two should learn to talk about these kinds of decisions before you carry them out.
2007-07-13 06:37:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 1⤋
Well, it's lesson one in the beginning of a marriage - communication. It was nice and frugal of you to take this on but you should have talked to her about it first. Communication is everything. When you take over something that represents you BOTH, then you need to discuss it with her.
And with gas prices being what they are, I have a very hard time believing you saved ANY money. You're telling me it was cheaper for you to deliver an invitation 50 miles away by car than by sending it with a 49 cent stamp?! yeah right. It cost you 49 cents just to start your car! :)
Just apologize and tell her you meant well and that you're very sorry for not discussing it with her first. If she loves you, she'll see that it's not THAT big of a deal and will forgive you.
2007-07-13 07:38:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is just a little upset because she got calls from some people complaining about being on their property and many people asking why there was no stamp. So I think she feels a little upset about that and embarrassed that people might think that she is cheap and embarrasseed that she has to explain to everyone that you hand delivered them. I think the steam will blow off. She will cool down soon. So just let her be mad for a bit. I thought it was a sweet and smart idea. Your guests are a little weird. I can't believed that some even compained about you going on their property. Are they your friends? Sounds like those people don't even know you to be complaining and anal about that.
2007-07-13 17:07:08 · answer #5 · answered by TJ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not uncommon to hand-deliver invitations, but it should be done by hand. You should have walked up to the door, knocked, and put it in the hand of your guests, to ensure that they received it.
It is a federal offense to access someone else's mailbox.
That said, she should probably put the gasket back on, and quit being so angry. What's done is done, and she should at least be glad that all of your invitations have gone out to all of your guests. The day is not ruined...This is just a minor glitch in the process. Let her know that most people expect something to go wrong with their wedding...And now this is it, so she can get over the worrying about everything else!
2007-07-13 06:44:12 · answer #6 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Because your wife is about to get married and she's stressed and freaking the hell out.
Can I say I just don't get it when people do things to cut costs on wedding and are afraid people look at them like they're cheap. I'd be thrilled to get a hand-delivered invitation, for someone to go to such trouble like that?
And in the end, given it took you gas money to do that driving, did you really save that much money? What you saved people was time.
2007-07-13 06:40:22 · answer #7 · answered by lemurmunk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Women are very touchy when it comes to wedding stuff... I am behind you 100%. Don't worry, it will blow over, just tell her that you will spend the money you saved by delivering the invitations on something else for the wedding, or buy her a 'gift' out of the blue.
2007-07-13 07:15:30 · answer #8 · answered by lucifr14 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well 175 cards hand delivered must have cost you more in gasoline than stamps , so no savings there.
No wonder she was mad and they must be asking "well if he took the trouble to deliver it by hand why didnt he knock and say hello."
And you can say well I had 175 people to visit and thats too much tea and cake for me so I just scarpered.
2007-07-13 07:36:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well, she shouldn't be that mad - since the invitations got there.. who cares? i think its a bit odd but it shouldn't matter that much.. my concern is you thinking you saved $72 on stamps.. but you did waste some money on gas.. which is pretty precious right now. She's probably wound so tightly right now with everything else.. just let it go.. i got tense about a lot of stupid stuff during my wedding planning.. you have so much you're in charge of and when one thing goes not according to YOUR plan you get a little psycho.. say sorry and let it simmer down
2007-07-13 07:17:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋