She hits and bites and climbs and breaks stuff and gets into everything no matter how much I put it up she still finds a way to get to it!!
I have tried EVERYTHING! I have tried spanking but that dont work so I quit that. I have tried calmly telling her no and explaining why she is not to do something. No help at all.
I am beginning to think that yelling at her is the only way but I dont want to do that.
Oh yeah and time outs are a waste of time.
2007-07-13 05:08:11 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
All discipline is a waste of time if you don't stick with it. She knows if she continues the behavior you will decide to change punishment. She pushes your buttons and likes it. Also it sounds like she isn't getting aenough attention. If you are watching her she cannot get ionto things that you have put out of her reach without you knowing. 2 year olds require constant supervision not just because they get into things but because they do not have the skill to decide if its safe. That's your job. You might also try reducing the amount of sugar you give her and try finding things to do that are challenging to her.
2007-07-13 05:16:22 · answer #1 · answered by baddt1999 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You must be very very consistent with whatever discipline you choose to use, if you let her get away with things sometimes but not others, this is very confusing to kids at that age so they keep trying, since the last time you let them do it maybe this time you will too. Also remember that a timeout should be for as many minutes as they are old... so a two year old would need a timeout of 2 minutes. Explain why she is in timeout and do not let her leave timeout until the 2 minutes are up and do this every single time, otherwise it won't work. Good luck to you. P. S. you must find a way to discipline your child NOW, it will only get harder as she gets older. If you can't control a 2 year old how will you control her at 10- 12- 14 or 16!!!
2007-07-13 12:21:11 · answer #2 · answered by Loolu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should not have to create a 'rubber room' for her to just go crazy in- she is not an animal.
She should have been taught from 6 month on how to act. Remember when she would rip her bib off at meal time? You should have not allowed it. Remember when she would squirm around and make diaper changing time a real pain? You shouldn't have allowed that either. Training starts younger than 2!
I'm glad you are looking for a change, it isn't too late.
The answer is very simple.....she will continue a behavior if she wasn't taught that that behavior was wrong. For example- if she hits once, she needs to learn not to. IF she hits again, it's your fault for not teaching her not to hit. Punishing kids is a way for them to realize they do not want to act a certain way or they will be punished- if the punishment is not followed through on, or significant enough, she will not learn.
You better teach her right now that you are the boss and she WILL listen. Do not yell, do not hit- these are animal behaviors and kids become desensitized very quickly. She actually enjoys watching you freak out, so don't.
You need to follow through and be consistant until you break her down- until she realizes that EVERY time she hits she is to stand by the wall for 15 minutes. This will only take a few days!
Kids will do anything for priveledges. My son is 17 and he will do his chores or lose his cell phone. Guess what? He ALWAYS does his chores!
2007-07-13 12:17:36 · answer #3 · answered by The Grand Inquisitor 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am having the same problems with my 2 year old, I have been trying to search for the correct technique as well. I don't hit and I don't want to be a yeller. So the best I have gotten so far is to Distract Distract Distract! LOL. When ever they are acting up or out to try your best to distract her, If at first it is not working then try something else in the room like " LOOK AT The BIRDS OUTSIDE" or " CAN YOU HELP ME CLEAN THE WINDOW'S. What ever they love to do. Just keep doing it until the grow out of this phase and hope that they will begin to learn to deal with things! They say that at there age the more you yell or say NO the more our little girl's will act up. I hope this helps a bit. I am also looking for answer's. Your question was going to be my question on here! LOL. Take care.
2007-07-13 12:38:00 · answer #4 · answered by sunshine A 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Time outs aren't a waste of time if you are consistent!
The best advice I can give is to not show your breaking down in front of your child.
Also, sometimes the best thing I have figured out how to do is to just say "No!" Not yelling, get on their level, deepen your voice and be serious.
I do the whole, throw a fit in the other room thing. I taken my son and let him scream and kick in another room. Within moments he comes back in the room where I am and has settled down.
Another thing is to change their mind, distract them.
Until you can have a real conversation with your child responding with more than just a few words....there is no real reasoning! You can talk to them like their able to understand (which I do) BUT you can't expect them to respond in the way your wanting them to!
As for the breakables. Give her a shelf or small book case of her own! Put her toys on it. Let her destruct that. The older she gets she will learn the consequences of breaking. When she understand the shelf thing...when she ruins something of yours then you can take a toy. But they have to konw the symbolization. Which is hard at 2.
Youve got to remember, no matter how smart a 2 year old is it isn't enough to respond in a way we all wish would happen. When things get out of control like thye have it is a very hard chain to break. It comes down to showing her who is the boss and symbolization.
Another things Ive learned is, put the breakalbes in kitchen cabinets or the top of closets! I have stuff out, nice stuff out, but it is far reach of my son. When he gets too close or trys to get it, I am promptly on him. You can't even give a moment where they think they can get the item or whatever it is they are after. At that point there is too much ambition to get it. Youve got to stay on her like a hawk (24/7) until she realizes she can't get away with it!
2007-07-13 12:29:13 · answer #5 · answered by BEA-UTIFUL 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I put my little girl in timeout every time she does something bad. I explain what she did was wrong, why it's wrong, and tell her not to do it again. After she's quit crying for about a minute I let her get up from timeout. I sit her in the same spot every time so she knows it's the timeout spot. At first it was hard because she didn't understand why she had to sit there, and she'd try to keep getting up. Eventually she started to catch on. It took about two months before she fully understood what timeout was all about. Now if I just mention the word timeout she straightens right up. It works very well now. I don't have to yell, or spank her at all. Timeout works very well as long as you can stick it out in the beginning, and be consistent. Don't give in, your the parent. If you do give in, your only teaching your child what it takes to get what they want.
2007-07-13 12:22:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
CONSISTENCY!
It is frustrating and soooooo hard on parents but you have to consistently put her into time out every time, EVERY time she misbehaves. Have the time-out chair near in the same room where you are, she is still too young to move it into another room. No matter how many times she gets out of the chair, put her back. No yelling, no spanking, just very firmly tell her she has to stay there until she calms down and quits misbehaving. Every time she gets back up, put her back in the chair. It will be a battle of wills and most Moms just give up, then guess who wins!
Oh, yes. use the 1- 2- 3 routine as well. Hold up one finger and say "1." If she still acts up, hold up two fingers and say "2." Still acting up, "3" is the magic word. To the chair she goes.
She will eventually see that you mean business and she will learn to get it together before you get to "3."
2007-07-13 12:19:01 · answer #7 · answered by TNGal 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You do have to be consistent, as everyone has said...she isn't going to understand a lengthy explanation of why you shouldn't do that...just be firm and tell her NO. Also, time outs do work, but you have to adjust them for the age. When I put my almost 2 year old in time out, I restrain her on my lap, because she isn't going to realize to stay in a time out chair. She HATES it and it usually has a good effect. Also, redirecting her behavior to something positive is the best thing you can do at this age. Help her find a toy (like a drum, or a pot and spoon) that she can take her aggression out on, instead of letting her hit you.
2007-07-13 12:49:59 · answer #8 · answered by maddie1979 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to be consistent- if you give up, she knows it.
First- is she getting enough attention from you- playtime where you actually sit and interact with her?
Next- time-outs- they do work. Pick a place and put her there- she must stay. Set a timer and allow 2 minutes for her. After the timer goes off- talk to her about what happened and what you expect from her- and have her fix whatever it is she did wrong in the first place. That could be simply saying, "I'm sorry" to putting toys back that she threw. If she is still out-of-control then she must stay longer or she will continue the behavior once the time is up. Continue to put her back if she runs off...over and over and over and over. Our son has autism and we had to do this in the beginning until we were sweating and out of breath- but he got it- he sat. We had a rocker for time-out- and he would rock away his angry.
Finally- outside play- allow her time to play outside and work off some energy. Nightly I took my son and niece to the park and playground to play and it wore them out as well as was fun time for them.
No means NO...and reinforce. It doesn't change overnight, but it will change once she knows you are committed to it.
2007-07-13 12:20:36 · answer #9 · answered by NY_Attitude 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Frankly, get yourself into a good psych. clinic and take a complete battery of behavioral and emotional psychological tests. YOU have described your actions, and they meet the requirements of a child abuser.
I'm sure you just want peace. You sound EXACTLY like my mother years ago. Now, I have zero to do with her and plan never to see her again!!!
Is that what you want from your child?
This is the terrible two-s. The child is learning who they are as individuals not tied to your apron. The beatings cause the child to be emotionally traumatized, and that is child abuse, punishable by jail time and taking your kid away.
You must child proof your place, and understand that it is your responsibility to understand YOURSELF better, to heal your emotional wounds so you do not abuse that child. It is normal child behavior to touch things, even break them, to not listen, to explore....,and you expect adult behavior.
I'm glad for you that you have at least come clean. Do something about it immediately. Also talk to your minister for help immediately so as not to abuse that child any more.
You must read extensively how to be a good parent. There are books by Ginott and many others.
2007-07-13 12:50:23 · answer #10 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
hello again. time out. not a waste of time, just be patient. nope hitting doesnt work just makes them more angry, yellin doesnt work they tune you out. plus have you ever been yelled at, not fun. watch the supernanny, there is a book called 4 weeks to a better behaved child, cristine chandler, ph.d. or other books. take away whatever she cherishes, special snack, tv time, toy, etc..
2007-07-13 12:18:36 · answer #11 · answered by CATWOMAN 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋