My boyfriend has a bit of a temper. He shouts at me and swears at me a lot. When I said I didn't like it, he said that's the way he is with everyone and I'm the only one with a problem. Should I allow him to do this to me, am I being too sensitive? Or should I hold my ground?
He's refused to apologise for screaming and shouting at me because my phone cut out when we were having a conversation. It wasn't my fault the phone cut out.
When I asked if he really needed to shout at me, he started shouting even more saying that I had a problem and to stop trying to change him. What???
I can't seem to do anything right. He whispers under his breath to me, and is fine sometimes and then just explodes at others. He has bad road rage & I swear sometimes he drives dangerously because he knows it scares me.
I've seen him hit tables and a kick a bag when he's angry, and he points his finger in my face.
Are these warning signs or is he just venting? I'm confused.
2007-07-13 04:14:41 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
BTW, when he said he is like this with everyone, that's not true. All his friends think he's great and he is always on good behaviour when they're around. It's only when we're on our own that he starts at me. I feel like I'm going crazy cos no-one else sees this side but me.
2007-07-13 04:16:07 · update #1
Hellooooooo red flags!! Get away now! These are total warning signs of a controlling abuser. Ditch him now, before you get so sucked into his world, or married to him, that you can't get away. Or get hurt.
2007-07-13 04:17:25 · answer #1 · answered by misguidedrose18 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, seriously, can you be any denser? You need to just turn off your phone and switch numbers. Get away! I'm a guy and I think that **** is unacceptable.
He has some sort of deep-seeded nastiness to him and you don't want to be around when it comes out full-fledged!
I don't know the details of your relationship but he has no respect for you. If he did he wouldn't be dissatisfied with everything you do. He actually demonstrates a deep disrespect for you by being this way. For some reason he doesn't like you down deep but sticks around anyway. This is not your fault it's just how it is. Don't endanger yourself anymore. And quit self-doubting your instinct. People will respect you more if you make clear-cut decisions. This mentality is what makes a great leader but more importantly will make you a great leader of your own life. You know it's wrong. It's clear-cut. I know you know because you wouldn't be asking us otherwise. Sometimes you just have to have the courage to make the clear-cut decision and move on. You have to have faith that you are correct and justified in your decision, only then you will not look back nor self-doubt your better judgment. Good Luck! There are no victims, only volunteers. Think about that.
2007-07-13 04:28:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oi vey, warning signs, definately. Honey, for your own sake if I were you I would have backed down at the first sign. It's no good to have someone like that. You don't deserve to be talked to like that, no one does. It is not venting. Venting is something I do every once in a while, not repetatively! You are not trying to change him, you are just probably trying to understand why he is so angry. Please be careful and make a decision that will benefit yourself. Relationships are supposed to be about caring for the other person and trying to grow together and quite frankly from what you have told, it seems like you are the only one contributing those factors! You are not being sensitive, so don't think that. Stand up for yourself sweetheart.
2007-07-13 04:29:23 · answer #3 · answered by v squared 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
2 massive warning signs are:
1) when somone tries to make out that your discomfort or pain is down to you, when it's their behaviour that causes it,
and 2) Doing it on purpose because you dont like it.
His behaviour towards you isnt normal for people in general, and not even normal for him if he treats others better. That is warning sign number 3. I think you're in danger of getting into an abuse situation here.
Basically, if he behaves how he behaves, wont change and it makes you uncomfortable, go somewhere you do feel comfortable. Away!!!
2007-07-13 04:51:45 · answer #4 · answered by Wonderwoman 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This man is dangerous and I think you should get out before he actually hurts you one day. This is not normal behaviour and he has no right to be like this with you. You are not the one with the problem, he is. If he is not willing to accept that he has a problem, I don't see why you should hang around until the damage is done. Get out before it is too late. x
2007-07-13 05:03:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT!!!
He obviously has a problem with anger. He may not have hit you yet but the signs are there. It is clear that he is not open to reason, and is trying to control you through his anger. This cannot be a positive and supportive relationship for you, so don't stick around. This is not a case of you sticking with him because you love him, you have to love yourself more, and look out for your emotional and physical wellbeing. Do not make excuses for him, or to yourself for staying with him, we have all seen, heard and read about abusive relationships and the emotional and physical devistation that thay bring.
He can deal with his anger on his own, he can get help for himself, if he really wants to. But do you want to live your life in fear, and anger waiting for him to change?
Anger, emotional or physical abuse is not acceptable in a relationship. Everyone deserves to be with someone that treats them with respect and consideration. Please think of yourself and don't put up with this agression anymore.
Good luck.
2007-07-13 04:41:02 · answer #6 · answered by enlightened goddess 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but I wouldn't take that from anyone, who does he think he think he is being able to talk to you like you're something he's just stepped in?? No way girl, get yourself some respect, take a deep breath and tell him to **** off!! Noone needs that kind of shite in their life!! Know what you call a bloke like that? Its got a T at the start, a T at the end, and a W A in the middle!!
2007-07-13 04:19:58 · answer #7 · answered by Little Bear 5 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Warning alarms should be going on in your head, you've seen him kick bags and hit tables whats to say it won't be you he's hitting soon. Sounds like he needs some anger management or to go see a specialist. You don't deserve to be with someone that screams and swears at you like this.
2007-07-13 04:20:59 · answer #8 · answered by oceanviewbreath 1 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Read your question back as though it was someone else asking! What would you advise? He has "a bit of a temper"? Why on earth are you anywhere near this guy? Nothing to be confused about - get as far away as possible NOW!
2007-07-13 04:22:57 · answer #9 · answered by annie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
oh get away now....warning bells must be deafening you at this point....don't want to be mean but surely as you were typing this out you realised the fact that that's not normal behaviour between two people supposed to be loving each other....
People do not change.... don't learn the hard way....
Find someone who's kind and treats you well ....good luck.
2007-07-13 04:22:17 · answer #10 · answered by piscesgroove 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
His behavior is the freakin' billboard of warning signs. He may not physically hit you, but he is an abuser. Unless you want to spend all your time cowering and walking on eggshells, get out now.
2007-07-13 04:19:43 · answer #11 · answered by Sarah (the bear!) 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋