My mother in law made a big fuss over what she wanted for christmas, in fact going so far to find a catalog and circle what she wanted (it was a tread mill).
I didn't think it was the highest of quality and recommended getting a better one, but my wife said no...
Anyways, my parents are having a tag sale this weekend and I saw that very treadmill with a price tag of 20.00 on it (I paid over 200.00)
I questioned them about it, but they avoided the subject.
I'm VERY upset by this and wonder if these feelings are normal. How should I handle this situation?
2007-07-13 02:37:48 · 16 answers · asked by Ted Arcidi 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Once the gift is given, you no longer have anything to say about it. It belongs to the other person now and they can do with it what they like. Sorry.
Just remember this the next time she goes out of her way asking for a particular item - and don't fall for it again.
2007-07-13 02:43:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The feelings are normal. But you have to remember one thing. It was a gift from you to her. You gave it out of love. While you are hurt, you never give a gift with "strings" attached. You have to wonder why she is getting rid of it. Maybe she fell using it. Maybe her Grand Idea of using it went away. Selling it for only 20.00 shows she is not doing it for the money! Since she avoided the topic when you confronted her about it, something you may never know is forcing her to sell it. Don't stay hurt, and don't pay that much for a gift for her anymore. When she shows you a 200 dollar X-mass gift next year, just tell her you can't afford that much, and get her something less expensive.
2007-07-13 10:45:08 · answer #2 · answered by Jess K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be upset and question them. I went thru the same situation with my mother she would ask for something and when you get it for her, she always gives it away. Ever since that day I never again gave my mother a gift. When a special occasion occurs like her birthday I call her to wish her a happy one. By now she already knows why I stopped giving her gifts. She just keeps quite and does not bring up the subject anymore. I work very hard for my money and its not so much the money its the principal that they ask for something you go out of your way to get if for them and they give or sell it.
2007-07-13 14:39:10 · answer #3 · answered by beliz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is why I give gift cards or certificates. I don't care if they are impersonal, it avoids these kinds of situations. Your MIL probably had great hopes of exercising and she found she couldn't stick with it. She should have offered to have you return it or try to sell it to recoup part of the cost, but since she didn't do that, just let it go.
I know it really grips your behind, but really in the long run, its just a material object and a stupid thing to fight over. Once you give a gift, you have no say so over what happens to it. And while it would have been the right thing to do in letting you know she didn't want it, she didn't. End of story.
Gift Cards, the only way to go.
2007-07-13 10:21:14 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you give a gift it's over and done with. You have no claim on the item. Most people get work out equipment and they then become hangers for clothes. Maybe it's not about you. Could it be that they are not using it and it is collecting dust? Don't take it personal. Move on and forget it. I am sure that you have bought or been given something that at the time you thought you wanted and later did not want or have use for it.
2007-07-13 10:08:21 · answer #5 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your question, you say it's your mother-in-law, and your mother. Which is it?
My grandmother taught me something very important and useful about giving gifts. She said that once you give a gift, you let it go -- you don't ask about it or try to control what the recipient does with it.
I fully understand that you are hurt to find your expensive gift at the tag sale for such a low price, but you have to let it go.
Who knows? Maybe your mother/mother-in-law had great hopes of starting a fitness program with her brand new treadmill from her lovely son/son-in-law, but like many people, found that sticking to it is much harder than she expected.
Try very hard not to take it personally. Perhaps for future occasions, you can give her a gift card to the store of her choice and let her select what she wants.
Good luck, and God bless.
2007-07-13 09:47:07 · answer #6 · answered by meatpiemum 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with MiracleHand, I suggest you get to make sure that you buy that treadmill back and wait to see the look on their faces. I think your action will speaks for itself, and u will end it quietly as much as they want to avoid the issue!! This way, your 200 worth would be still in your possession and if it's a comforting feeling that you didn't waste your own cash then u're the winner. Try selling it yourself on a website for less depreciation as a refund to yourself!
Good Luck!
2007-07-13 10:21:21 · answer #7 · answered by She-whom-shall-not-be-named 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From now on acknowledge her Christmas' through a 50 cent card from Dollar General and sometimes you can find cards at Walmart for 48 cents. Hey 2 cents is 2 cents. As the saying goes....a penny saved is a penny earned.
2007-07-13 10:00:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's why I give gift cards. They always " fit" and you never find them in tag sales lol. I wouldn't be so quick to pick out an expensive gift for her next time.It's the thought that counts anyway.You can always buy it back for the 20.00 and give it to her this christmas lol
2007-07-13 15:02:48 · answer #9 · answered by lillulu460 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once you give a gift, it no longer belongs to you. The recipient can do whatever they wish with the gift. So get over that part....you just have to accept it.
Now as for the future, I would just give her gift certificates and let her buy what she wants because this is obviously a sore spot for you...
2007-07-13 09:44:04 · answer #10 · answered by Goddess of Laundry 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋