MY boyfriend and I were on our way home from a weekend in Cornwall and had decided that we would meet up with a couple friend of ours on the way home. They were out having a meal and we were going to join them for a drink. I fell asleep in the car and when I woke up it was 9pm and we still hadn’t reached our friends. I asked my boyfriend if we could leave it, as by the time we got there, had a drink and got home it’d be past midnight, that I was really tired and had work in the morning and needed to iron some clothes. He just went off on a rant and shouted at me, no we couldn’t cancel the plans. I said it would be OK cos they were out together, and would understand that we’d got caught in traffic. He just ignored me and glared at me and said “we’re going. End of”.
When we got there, he jumped out of the car and slammed the door, I followed him into the restaurant and when we got to the door I said “please don’t be in a mood...
2007-07-13 02:33:34 · 47 answers · asked by rollacoasta 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
...I just have work in the morning and don’t want a late night”. He glared at me, shoved his face in mine and shouted “WHY DO YOU HAVE TO RUIN EVERY NIGHT WE GO OUT???!!!”
I had to go to the toilet to compose myself. Is it me or was this a bit out of order? I didn’t do anything wrong and our friends would have understood. We ended up getting home at 2am and I was shattered the whole of the next day.
2007-07-13 02:33:53 · update #1
Oh my goodness. You were tired and wanted to go home. HOW DARE YOU?????
Honey, your boyfriend was way out of line.....I thought he was just being an *** until you wrote the part about him getting in your face and yelling. That is totally unacceptable to me.
2007-07-13 02:37:31 · answer #1 · answered by sierraskyesmom 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
No, you did nothing wrong. It was getting late, and was it really essential you met up with these friends? Any decent man would have probably thought it was late as well, and devised a white lie, like getting caught in traffic, it would be later than you thought when you'd arrive, and you both had an early start in the morning, and make an arrangement when you could meet up maybe for a meal this time.
But no, he acted like a inconsiderate spoilt bully, and that is not what what you need, especially when you are feeling tired and want your bed. You said 'please don't be in a mood'. Is this what you want for the rest of your life, being tense and not enjoying life because you are worried about his mood? I couldn't put up with it.
2007-07-14 10:52:32 · answer #2 · answered by Thia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is really ashamed that your boyfriend isn't more understanding. He seems to be more concerned about only what he wants and that's just wrong. You sound very responsible, knowing you needed to get home so you could be well rested for work the next morning. If you truly have good friends they will understand the situation. If your boyfriend thinks you "ruin" all HIS fun perhaps you should have entered the restaurant, told your friends the situation, called a taxi and when home. And find yourself a new, more appreciative boyfriend....you deserve one!
2007-07-13 03:14:41 · answer #3 · answered by 1artisticrose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its rather simple my friend. He had promised them to meet. He did not want to let them down or make them think yous had lost interest. So he did not accept your story. He was angry. I can understand his annoyance. However you agreed not thinking it would be so late. So you changed your mind. He did not accept this. He was well out of order to treat you in this manner though over this. He could have said ok. Lets go in for a short time instead or cancelled. The question now is. Do you really want this kind of moody person as a boyfriend. Its going to happen again. Respect is what its about . Respect for you.
2007-07-13 02:42:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your like both in the wrong, you arranged to meet friends for a drink, you fell asleep, ( considerate botfriend let you,) so you would enjoy social life when awake, yet when you woke up, you still wanted an early night because of work etc
Boyfriend could have planned the timings better, taking extra time for delays, his choice of words are probably due to the stress of driving, but thought the end result with friends would be worth it... taking all into consideration, I would say that 3 fault points go to boyfriend, 7 fault point go to you... ....I am a female with a point of view
2007-07-16 08:59:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could have been that your boyfriend just had his heart set on going out that time and just wanted to go through with it since you already put up with the traffic just to get there. But even so he could have talked with you in a better way. If you really think that he blew things out of proportion, then it could be that your problems as a couple may go a lot deeper than that one incident.
2007-07-13 02:39:51 · answer #6 · answered by riandelmundo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think there is more history to this issue than what you've stated. However, based on this one sided slant, I would say that you both could have done things differently. Number one he did not have to blow up at you, number two the two of you could have gone there to show face and explain to your friends since you said they would understand that you were tired and couldn't stay for long have one quick drink to appease your boyfriend and then go home early.
2007-07-13 03:16:00 · answer #7 · answered by b w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you didn't do anything wrong. You spoke up for yourself. Break it off with this guy. If he's got a temper like that over something so small ne may take it out on you even worse next time, like hitting you or something--don't take that risk. You may love him, but being in a relationship like that with so much control, anger, temper, and you feeling insecure and confident in yourself because of his reactions to you--it's not worth it. Get out now. You deserve to be respected and treated well, not essentially kidnapped.
2007-07-13 02:53:13 · answer #8 · answered by GLSigma3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he was mad at the world and took it out on you.
I have cancelled plans many times due to fatigue, work schedule, etc. My friends have done the same as well. That's why they're good friends-they treat you better than family (loved ones), and are always understanding.
Next time tell him to fak himself and get a cab. He's going to be mad anyway, so why not? You're going to be stressed and upset anyway, so why not?
2007-07-13 03:47:37 · answer #9 · answered by tombollocks 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your man sounded stressed at you for no reason. Or maybe he has some sort under lying issue with you, that maybe the two of you need to discuss between yourself. Personally you and your man could have come to a compromise about the situation. Either talk about it or leave it in the past my dear
2007-07-13 03:42:44 · answer #10 · answered by Darkchild 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did nothing wrong. He was out of line. It sounds to me that he is insensitive and selfish. He had absolutely no reason to behave in such a manner. It also sounds that he is either quite immature or just a not nice person. There would have been absolutely nothing wrong with not going. You just explain to your friends that it took longer than expected and you were very tired and just went home after a long weekend. I say dump his butt.
2007-07-13 02:50:40 · answer #11 · answered by mamacurlyhead 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋