my fiance and i postponed our wedding on august 4,2007. just three and a half wks away. we're still together and co-habitating. we just needed to work on us before we make this commitment for life.
my question is is that should we return the shower gifts? keep in mind the wedding's postponed till further notice, NOT cancel.
thanks
2007-07-13 01:57:47 · 16 answers · asked by Shrimpboat 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Propper etiquette dictates that you should return the gifts, specially monetary ones. Some people would insist that you keep them anyway, but it's appropiate to offer to return the gifts
Good luck
2007-07-13 02:04:06 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
First of all, good for you for not taking a step you're not ready for! Many couples are too afraid to do that. I hope everything works out for you!
How are you announcing that the wedding is postponed? Maybe you could write a letter to everyone you invited, and mention that while you still plan to hold the wedding in the near future, you would be more than happy to return any gifts that your guests would like you to. Chances are many of them will tell you to keep them anyway, especially since there probably won't be another shower before your new date.
2007-07-13 02:11:07 · answer #2 · answered by Sarah 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Selfish answer is no, don't return the gifts because people gave them to you because they love you and want to be a part however small in celebrating your Special Day. They want you to have them especially if the work you are doing on your relationship doesn't work and your plans for a lovely wedding go down the toilet.
That said, *do you even need to ask? of course you return the gifts! And you know it! You just want some one to say you can keep them! There ! I gave you an out!!*
2007-07-13 02:58:55 · answer #3 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Return the gifts, since you really don't know when or IF you are getting married. It's quite possible you could break up. I do agree with Just Askin. I am not for shacking, so I think it would be best to live apart and work on yourselves. Most everyone I see on here and that I know in life has regretted shacking up before marriage, the few that actually got married. The rest just eventually broke up. Most all of them had a child, so sex when not married really isn't a good idea.
Maybe your next bridal shower can take place AFTER you are married. That's what my husband and I did.
I know what I said wasn't something you wanted to hear. But everyone who's shacked up and later broken up, or got married only to divorce, has told me they wished they never would have shacked up in the first place. So please think about this. This having sex and making babies really is not a good situation to bring children into. Every time one has sex when not married, they are risking bringing a child into the world like this, because all birth control has a failure rate. Please think about all of this. Hope everything works out for the best.
2007-07-13 02:42:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is a tricky one. i'd handle it this way...
obviously you are going to be calling people to let them know that the wedding is postponed. when you do, tell them that you'd like to return the shower gift they gave you b/c you feel it might be wrong to keep it at this point. most likely, they are going to tell you thats unnecessary and to keep the gifts. but it will look good that you are making an effort to do the right thing. good luck!
2007-07-13 02:09:23 · answer #5 · answered by jmum82 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, no. If you're only postponing the wedding, and not planning on cancelling it outright, then you shouldn't have to return the shower gifts, however were you to cancel the wedding, etiquette would say that you should return the gifts.
2007-07-13 02:06:19 · answer #6 · answered by badmojo300 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
First off, congrats and props on making sure things are good between you and your fiance before leaping into marriage. :)
I think it would be okay to keep the shower gifts, unless the wedding is being postponed for a very long time. But if you still think you'll be getting married this summer then keep them. :) good luck!~
2007-07-13 02:02:05 · answer #7 · answered by Glitter Berry 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you are not canceling the wedding just keep the gifts. But when the wedding is rescheduled make sure you don't have another wedding shower.
Good Luck.
2007-07-13 02:42:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could ask a close friend that gave you a gift to see if they want their gift back. If they do then give all of them back. I would probably make an effort to give all of them back. Some may not want them back anyway, since the two of you are still together. Good Luck.
2007-07-13 02:03:19 · answer #9 · answered by cris 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if you know that there is going to be a wedding then i say keep the gifts and good for you for putting everything right in your relationship before having the wedding!!!
2007-07-13 02:28:30 · answer #10 · answered by princess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋