Do I have to invite my future mother in law to my bridal shower? I have a rocky relationship with her that my groom is well aware of and I would rather her not be there. There are no other female family members of my groom's to invite, so it wouldn't be like she was left out from his side of the family. So far all the women invited are from my side of family and friends. Is it ok to leave her out from my shower??
2007-07-12 23:27:32 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
All the other women in my groom's family live out of town and are not attending the wedding due to financial circumstances. Which is his stepsister and sister in law, that is it for the women in his family. Well, besides his mom. Oh, plus my parents want nothing to do with his, so my mom doesn't want her there.
2007-07-13 20:36:52 · update #1
Yes. It is okay. Your bridal shower. You're supposed to be happy and not stressed - until the wedding anyways...
2007-07-12 23:33:35 · answer #1 · answered by hoyden 2 · 0⤊ 4⤋
First, you don't invite people to your own shower. The shower is supposed to be given by your friends, and they issue the invitations.
Second, how can you possibly expect to have a relationship with this woman (and you automatically have a relationship because she's your future husband's mother) if you don't make an effort? Not being invited to your shower is a huge insult--a slap in the face. Short of her trying to have you killed, I can't imagine how it could be so painful to you to have her there that justifies that big a hurt. Like it or not, she's going to be family. Marriage is about compromises and sometimes doing things for the sake of your spouse you wouldn't do otherwise. This is one of those times. Suck it up and invite her. If she comes, graciously thank her for being there, and graciously thank her for whatever gift she brings. The wedding changes the landscape--you can offer an olive branch here.
Just because you had a rocky past doesn't mean you have to make it a rocky future. Not inviting her to your shower guarantees a rocky future. Why would you want to do that?
2007-07-13 05:19:26 · answer #2 · answered by Trivial One 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Of course you have to invite her. She may not attend but at least the intent was there. You have a rocky relationship - how do you think you will improve upon that by not inviting her? Also, are there family friends on his side that should be invited? You need to check. You are marrying her son - time to extend an olive branch in the form of a shower invite. Maybe your mom can spend time with her - especially when planning the shower and that can help bridge the gap the two of you have.
2007-07-13 03:57:30 · answer #3 · answered by JM 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
NO WAY!!!! Even if you have a rocky relationship with her, it is an opportunity for your family to get to know her, it's not just about "Your Day" and "Your Shower" and "Your Gifts". You are marrying not only your fiance but into his family.... I think that inviting her is the right thing to do. What are u going to say when if your family brings up the question of where she is??? are you going to tell them that you didnt inviter her cuz u dont like her??? Honestly it makes you sound like kinda a brat. (not trying to be mean, but it would)
Suck it up, invite her, if she doesnt come then it's on her. She will be hurt if and when she finds out that u purposely didnt invite her, and just imagine hearing about that at every family get together for the next 30 years..... lol.
Good Luck
2007-07-13 06:07:43 · answer #4 · answered by legends_chick 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you don't invite her, then you better make it very clear that this was a bridal shower given for YOUR side of the family. Typically, you should be inviting all women who will be invited to you wedding. So, am I to assume that your husband to be does not know any woman at all? He doesn't have an aunt, a cousin, a wife of a brother, a sister, a girlfriend of a groomsmen, a girlfriend of a boyfriend, a wife of a groomsmen. None of those right?
2007-07-13 13:16:00 · answer #5 · answered by Sondra 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, it is not ok to leave her out of your shower. Not inviting her to your shower would futher irritate your rocky relationship. If you want your own life to be more pleasant, extending an invitation and a hand in friendship always helps, and even if you don't reap the rewards now, it's never a bad idea to be kind towards someone.
2007-07-13 02:51:09 · answer #6 · answered by melouofs 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would absolutely invite her...if you have a rocky relationship, chances are she won't come. But at least you'll look like the bigger person for inviting her...it's for the women in the bride's family and she IS part of your family...you can't just exclude her.
2007-07-13 00:05:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
I would invite her. What happens when she finds out? (Trust me someone on your side will blab it always happens). Yes it is your day but if u think about a wedding it's about joining 2 families together also your wedding may be the bridging of your relationship (or not). But ultimately it is up to you.
2007-07-12 23:38:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you probably should invite her. I personally would go a step further and take her out for lunch. She is the one woman in your husbands life that you will always have around (yes even after she dies her memory will be there!) so I would find anyway possible to get along with her. It took me a few years to get to this point and we now both really enjoy each others company and it makes life a lot easier for my husband.
2007-07-13 00:15:52 · answer #9 · answered by mrsdarth72au 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I would invite her because if you don't she will definitely be angry and use it against you. . .for the rest of your life! If your relationship with her isn't that good and she won't have other family members there, chances are good she won't even come. If you don't invite her she's the "victim." If you invite her and she doesn't come then you are the "victim." Good Luck.
2007-07-13 00:42:03 · answer #10 · answered by Luv2Answer 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Invite her.
You didn't say she was horrible, you just said you have a "rocky" relationship, which to me means you have some/a few good moments but not much.
If you don't invite her it will cause more of a rift in your relationship.
2007-07-13 03:55:21 · answer #11 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋