How do i adopt my wifes daughter?

Question

My wifes ex husband is over 11,000 dollars behind in child support and hardly ever sees his daughter. We went to an attorney and presented the case we had to him and he said that we would not be able to win in court. I think this is not fair. I am obviously supporting this child and i want her to be mine but i cannot adopt her because he will not sign over his rights. is there any loop hole than we can sneak through

I think you would really need to understand the situation. We still have to take her to her dad's which is really his mom and dad's. He treats his daughter like she is his sister instead of his daughter. He was very abusive to my wife and we are scared he will do the same to her. He also kidnapped her when she was 1 yr old. He doesn't have a job so taking child support from a paycheck isn't possible. the state won't do anything so dead beat dad laws do not do anything. He puts ideas in her head about how she should go live with him or his mother. We have to cater to his situation all the time and he is just an *** to be an ***.. I think he would sign over his rights if his mother wasn't in the picture. She is the only one that cares to do anything. My wife is just frustrated that no one seems to be able to help us or even just help her....

Answer 1

It is not correct to adopt childs of your wife, as long as father is alive !

Court and attorney are right.

And regardless of who you are or what kind of person you are, statistically most of such adoptions ends with child abuse. Very sorry but reality.

If I was divorced and my wife shake ups or marry to another man, I would not let any of my kids near to that man. I would fight until my last breath. Sorry. Put yourself in a position of other side.
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Answer 2

Offer him money. It's mercenary, but he might do it. Tread carefully, if you go that route, it could lead to bad outcomes.

Alternatively, realize she will never be yours, except in her heart. If you are as cool as you say you are she knows the score.

You don't need to "own" her via legal means. You say he hardly ever sees her. So,

Confront your feelings of jealousy. He's pretty much out of the picture. Ramp up efforts to collect on the child support. many states have new and improved deadbeat dad programs.

There is likely no legal loophole to sneak through, except by changing your own attitude towards the situation.

Just see it as "It's not a problem." He's hardly ever there. She's being raised by you, but she is not being fought over by you, as a posession, or final prize of the recent marriage, RIGHT?

Just let it, and him, go.

In a decade or more years, she'll hug you, and call you dad, and go off to college, and find a guy of her own. Enjoy your time with her now, and instruct her on how to deal with being snatched away if the ex husband tries that (let her know when she's old enough). You know what I mean.

Best of luck. Sounds like your wife is on your side, so you got key allies in place, too, at least. Depending on what kind of visitation he has set up, might be the case that a move to a new state is in order, but that's kind of dicey, I don't know your situation, state, etc.

Answer 3

I'd say review the terms of custody from your wife's divorce and then ask another lawyer. By the way, you can also arrange with her biological father's employer that you get the child support he owes you. The company can take it out of his paycheck and send it right to you.

Answer 4

you must ask the child himself so that you may assure that the court would alow you to adoopt the child already. This are not isolated cases. If the child is at his right age then he decide whether to abide on what you would want or not. Talk to him and try to find out if he would really want to be your adopted child to make evertything legal.

Answer 5

I think you need to see another lawyer. I am in the same position (my husband adopting my son). Lawyer we talked to said everything looked good and it should only take a few months.

Answer 6

Dose it really matter if hes really yours or not?he is already in your life so hes like a son.hes always going to have his real father...I'd let things be the way they are but thats me.Adlest he is paying something(Im not trying to give him credit or anything)I dont think its right his son never gets to see him cause he never comes around.That ticks me offs.But you can just say he is your son,he lives with you/Sees you everyday.

Answer 7

Tell him that you will have him put in jail for not paying child support, if he does not sign the adoption papers. I am surprised that he is not already in jail. Who dropped the ball on that one?

Answer 8

He would have to have his parental rights terminated or give them up voluntairly for you to adopt her.