I do NOT want her there. I didn't send her an invite, but I did send one to my uncle that lives next door to her (she isn't going to take a hint). She has sent me messages concerning the party but I have not responded.
*For clarification of "why" I don't want her there, see my last question.
2007-07-12 20:07:55 · 15 answers · asked by PlasticTrees 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Tell your uncle that you do not want her there. Have him to tell her. If she messages you again, message her back and tell her she in not invited.
Sad though, this could be the opportunity for you and your mother to work on your relationship. But I DO understand that this is your engagement party and your not wanting her to ruin it for you. So go with your gut.
~faith
2007-07-12 20:15:10 · answer #1 · answered by faith♥missouri 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
If you don't want her there, you need to grow up and act like an adult and at LEAST learn how to respond to your messages. Send her a message or call her directly and tell her that you are having a private engagement party for only a few people and you're sorry, but she's not invited. If you don't have the nerve to lay your cards out on the table, then maybe your not mature enough to be getting married.
2007-07-13 20:20:21 · answer #2 · answered by Sondra 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I just read your "why" post to try to understand.
I honestly think if she shows up, that you can be honest with her.
You are an adult and with a voice to express your opinion of her.
I honestly wonder why you haven't fully cut her off in your life, period (not allowing her to borrow money no matter what to the simplest things of seeing her).
I would text (send message however you two do communicate) and let her know that this is a small get together and sorry that she isn't able to attend due to personal differences you two share. If she can't handle the truth, then that is her issue. You can say it maturly, polietly and with respect at the same time.
If she shows up, you can open the door, and let her know this is a special event and you would like her to leave. If she doesn't, have the police do so for you at the same time, remaining calm and collected.
I think that if she was this way to you, you have a right to say whether she should be there or not.
This is just one stepping stone as you got a bigger one comming: the wedding day. How you going to deal with it then? That is why I say be honest now cuz the same for engagement can be same for wedding if you are not letting her know now you are not interested in her attending etc.
That is what my husband and I did to his mom (my mother in law). Long story short, reminds me of your mom but worse.
Goodluck and congrats!
2007-07-13 03:40:35 · answer #3 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If she isn't very good at taking hints maybe you should answer one of her messages or call her and actually tell her that you dont want her there. Some people dont listen until they are told straight. If she does turn up at the party rather than cause a scene and ruin your night, ignore her as much as posible and have it out with her afterwards - you dont want to say something at your party that will ruin your memories of what should be a very special night for you. Good luck.
2007-07-13 03:15:15 · answer #4 · answered by shez 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well based on your last question, there are certainly some issues going on. It is sad that this is happening in your family but unfortuantly this happens a lot in families.
If you don't want her there, then just plain tell her she is not invited. Send her a message or call her and tell her. Ignoring her messages is not enough, you need to reply and tell her NO.
2007-07-13 07:57:02 · answer #5 · answered by Patty G 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Respond to her messages!
That way, she will know very well she is NOT invited or welcome.
Talk to your uncle and let him know to not tell your mom about the event.
2007-07-13 10:48:47 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a great opportunity to finally tell her what she has done to disrespect you. OBVIOUSLY you have been avoiding it. Its got to come out sometime, somehow. Just think of it as an excuse to finally have a reason to confront her.
She can't just be given respect just because she is Mom, she has to give it, too.
Dont be afraid to demand an apology, and soon.
2007-07-13 03:37:28 · answer #7 · answered by MissMcClain 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if she happens to show ... have the hostess ask her to leave. if that doesn't work, you will have to call the police and have her removed. not a happy party but the fun will start after the extraction. I'm sorry your Mom has created a situation that you feel the need to extract her from your life. congrats on your upcoming wedding.
2007-07-13 03:16:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
If she shows up, ask her to leave, If she makes a scene, dial 911. As to why you don't want her there is really no one's business but yours and hers. Good luck.
2007-07-16 14:06:33 · answer #9 · answered by kystarlyte_kystarlight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want a scene, tell her in advance. Don't leave something that important to chance. Try to be tactful, but if that is not effective, be direct -not mean, just direct. Assume that she will also fail to show up at your wedding as well.
2007-07-13 03:12:36 · answer #10 · answered by Jeanne B 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋