Men who allow their children to run their relationships?

Question

I met a guy with an 8 yr old daughter. I normally dont date guys with kids, but he was he exception. I have been dating him for 8 months and what i noticed was how his daughter manipulated him and how she was allowed to be direspectul and rude to me in front him. After taking as much as i could take i begin to voice myself. I blatantly told him that he would be by himself in the near future if he did not check his daughters behavior. To this day our relationship has strayed because of her. My question is this, why would a man who knows that he has a good woman and companion allow a child to come in between his relationship. Kids grow up and leave and if you pass up a good thing along the way would'nt you regret having let your kids run someone off that you know was good for you.

Answer 1

I see this kind of stuff happen all the time. People feel that they owe their kids something. This is why I don't date men with young children.

Answer 2

You don't have kids, do you? A good parent will do anything for their child's benefit. Sometimes they lose sight of the big picture and don't realize that teaching children about life's little annoyances and how to accept things you don't like is part of the job.

If you want this to work, you have to do two things. First, act like a parent with this girl. Don't let her run rough shod all over you until you get sick of it. Put her in line immediately. Second, you have to support her father's decisions and rules. Don't try to undermine his position, and don't belittle his parenting. Especially with the girl around.

What you absolutely cannot do, is try to compete with her. You have to accept the fact that his daughter is the most important thing in his life. Once you can accept that, then you can build a real relationship with this man.

Answer 3

its his child. he has to put her before any girlfriend or anything like that. she is there to stay, but you are free to leave whenever you want to. i am not saying that she has the right to talk to you that way. you are right, she is being disrespectful and i know it hurts. and she should know better at the age of 8. but, he has to put her in front of everyone and everything else. she is permanently his, and she's 8. she cant do much for herself yet. and u kno, she may just be a late bloomer on manners and stuff. good luck and i hope everything works out between you too. and maybe you could talk to the kid? get 2 know her and see where she's at in her life. it could be something to do w/ the mother too. like maybe the mother is jealous and teaching her to be rude to her dad's gf. i hope this helps.

Answer 4

Parents will always put their children before their own wants and needs.The child is 8 years old, she may be grieving over a separation of her parents or the loss of her mother. She is probably trying to push you away because she is loyal to her mother and to her you are an intruder who is trying to take her father. You are the adult. Maybe you should try doing something special with her or for her to try and win her affection. If you love the man you have to love everything about him including the child. Maybe he is looking for a woman who has good motherly instincts. You probably aren't the one. : )

Answer 5

Agreed. Children should not come into relationships. They are vulnerable and manipulative. A guy who allows his children to show disrespect to his friends or companion is not worth to hang around with. His children could ruin his life.

Answer 6

Sorry lady, but his daughter is and should be his priority! She was probably rude to you because she sensed you want to be first in his life and that just isn't the way a good dad behaves.
Stick with the childless men.

Answer 7

You obvioulsy have no children. No man could ever come between me and my kids. If they didn't get along, he would be gone. Your kids are your blood, your life, till they die not just till they leave home. You were out of line to blame him or his child. He is a parent, it is his responsibility to take care of her and not let anyone come between him and her. Dates are a dime a dozen, but your kids are always first if you are a good parent. You blew it. He can do better.

Answer 8

It will only get worse as the girl turns into a teenager. If he is unwilling to discipline her and rein her in a bit, probably better to find someone else.

Answer 9

I know how this feels, my current bf has a son and he is always being rude to me even after his father told him not to. he is always saying to me "you're not my mommy" not that i want to.i think they dont want their parents to be involved with someone els. you should have a chat with him and tell him that you are going to be with his dad whether he like it and that you loves his dad just as he does.hopes it work out for you. Good luck

Answer 10

First of all you sound pretty arrogant though you have a point . But maybe to him his child comes first and his life second, thats what happens when you have a kid.