I have been dating this guy for two years. We have agreed that we are exclusively dating, but because his work has taken him several hours away from me, we only get to see each other a couple of times a month. Recently, when he was at my house, he checked his e-mail and left it logged in. Well, like a sneaky little idiot, I looked over his messages. I found a few from this girl he had been talking to, and apparently they had been out for coffee and dinner a time or two. One of the messages she sent asked if he had a girlfriend, and he said no. We have agreed that it is okay for us to have and hang out with friends of the opposite sex, just no intimacy with anyone else. I just am a little insecure of the fact that he has told her he does not have a girlfriend. If I ask him about it, he will know that I read his mail. If I e-mail her about it and tell her he does have a girlfriend, she might tell him. What should I do?
2007-07-12 17:45:52 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Please don't tell me I should dump him, I have considered this, and would really rather work it out. Thanks!
2007-07-12 17:46:31 · update #1
What's the point in asking him about it, or confronting him about what you already know to be true? And why would you want to stay with anyone who would cheat on you?
Finally, why are you making excuses?
2007-07-12 17:57:40 · answer #1 · answered by Sgt Pepper 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is just worried that if he tells her he has a girlfriend, she might not want anything to do with him. Maybe he is just that desperate for friendships. If you really want to work things out with him, and to make sure he has all the attention he needs from you, you should find a way for the two of you to live closer to each other.
2007-07-12 17:56:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask him if he considered you his girlfriend. Just because you aren't seeing other people doesn't mean he feels ready to use certain terminology. Did you get the distinct impression that their relationship is of a romantic nature? She could just be a friend and is wondering. Is there any reason you feel he is untrustworthy? Just the fact that you're worried enough to ask random people online makes me think that you don't trust him. You've heard of Occam's razor, right?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occam's_Razor
2007-07-12 17:53:06 · answer #3 · answered by moxie_slacker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got this one. I was in the same situation. It being one year into our relationship. I had to confront him about me snooping and finding the info. But what he did hurt me more so I couldn't keep it in. I decided to forgive him, which took really long. But I made it very clear to what our relationship meant and if he wanted to see other people to tell me first so I can go meet someone else too. Make yourself clear to what you expect from him and what you will give him in return. You are worth it. Good luck
2007-07-12 17:58:53 · answer #4 · answered by SerbMex 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he told her he has no girlfriend then he's probably trying to be more than friends with her, there is no way to work it out unless you talk to him about it, or maybe you just want to forget about it and hope he doesn't cheat on you, even though he most likely will.
2007-07-12 17:51:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Ally, seeing as he told the bimbo he does not have a girlfriend, then he is a cheating b@stered, and you will be better off with out him. When you bust him on it say that you went on the computer & thought it was on your E-mail.
2007-07-12 17:55:51 · answer #6 · answered by buddyj68 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would confront him about it. Clear the air. Wait a few days then say "it doesn't matter how I know, but I know about (wherever her name is) and I know she thinks you don't have a girlfriend. What am I? Chopped liver? That really hurts" .
See what he says. Then hopefully you can both calmly talk it out.
2007-07-12 17:53:08 · answer #7 · answered by Mama_Kat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the definition of ceating is when a person has a girlfriend/boifriend and has another realationship.u should ask ur boi and say hey babe b honest wit me r u cheating wit me.
2007-07-12 17:54:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
think you schould tell him. that u went to go cheek ur email and u got on his by acident caz he felt it loged in and just tell him u thought it was urs so u read the email and i looked at the named sighned in and it was his.. then ask him if he is cheating on u..(give him a sad face)(men cant recist that) and if he says no then ask him another ? u have
2007-07-12 17:55:50 · answer #9 · answered by courtney b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being exclusive does not mean being able to see other people.
take that rule out about being able to see other people.
women define things differently from men. he not feel like he is wrong. you have to "define" you relationship, spell it out to make sure you two have the same understanding
2007-07-12 17:53:05 · answer #10 · answered by QTP 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋