my first love was my ideal and i broke his heart because i was afraid he was changing my priorities.. im a musician have been since 7 years... 10 yrs later im in love to the exact person i would imagine... i grew cold to love... im still cold i never really like anyone anymore.. im cynical about it and i dont know what to do.. i dont beleive it exists anymore.. its been 5 years... i still look for him in other people i cant find him, there is no unconditional love in hollywood, no one who actually cares... he hates me and will never talk to me... how do i grow past the person who would have always been there for me
2007-07-12 14:26:45 · 13 answers · asked by old_soul_945 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I GUESS MY REAL QUESTION IS HOW DO I MOVE ON, HOW DO I STOP THIS ENDLESS COMPARISON
2007-07-12 14:29:01 · update #1
i dumped him while he was naked and told him all i had ever really wanted was a one night stand.. though we were just at that moment almost going to blah blah blah
2007-07-12 14:47:56 · update #2
The first thing you need to do is come to terms with the fact that he will not be coming back to you. Of course you are going to compare other people to him...because he was your first love! Our first loves are never really forgotten. We always remember them and the times we shared with them. We long for that feeling and we search and search for it, but never really seem to be able to mirror it.
You need to look for someone who you can relate to and stop comparing everyone to your first love because if the truth be told, you could look the rest of your life and end up old and alone. Your first love probably had its ups and downs and you two probably would not still be together today, but we often times remember the way we want to and not how it really was.
It's that "what might have been syndrome". Instead of focusing on that, you should refocus yourself with the new and improved them of "what it can be if I will allow it".
Don't rush into just any relationship, but don't close the door on the guy before you give him a chance either. Everything happens for a reason and some people come into our lives for a reason, season or a lifetime....you just haven't found your "lifetime" person yet....but you will. Best of luck!
2007-07-12 14:33:20 · answer #1 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is still single, and he loved you once and it was true love, he will love you again.
I suggest a note or a visit. Be upfront not defensive but honest. There is no harm in life admitting you were wrong. You don't need to pour your heart out, but be as frank as possible.
It may not work right away but give it time and pray. If its meant to be it will.
2007-07-12 21:35:35 · answer #2 · answered by oe542 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi...
i'm sorry you are still grieving after all these years. i know how painful it is, because i did it for over 2 years and that felt like an eternity.
have you considered talking with a professional about this? perhaps someone who is experienced in helping others could give you some direction and help you find your way.
i hope so. sending hugs.
2007-07-12 21:31:45 · answer #3 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to accept each person that you meet just the Way they are. Lots of people have trouble ever getting over their first love.
2007-07-12 21:33:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well your going to have to learn to let go and only time can do that.Maybe you need to take time off from dating for awhile to give yourself time to get over him,maybe you have never taken the time to heal from him yet.But you have to remember that not everyone is the same and everyone has there own personalities ,no there will never be another one like him and its not fair to anyone else you date to compare them with him.Start looking at the positives everyone else has to offer instead of what the ex had to offer,you just might like what you find.
2007-07-12 21:36:09 · answer #5 · answered by catfishhunter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok first you pull your foot out of your mouth. tell those you love how you feel and tel the rest to die....you will never find that same kind of "love" again, try as you might.
your a musician - you should be in touch with your feelings. hell write him/her a song. express yourself.
2007-07-12 21:33:28 · answer #6 · answered by Chris P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you ****** up , at least you were honest with him , i don't understand if love turns to hate - i'd like to think that if someone loves you they'll always love you
He is just angry and upset because you are the one he wanted to be with
So its sweet really - kinda!!!
2007-07-12 21:32:27 · answer #7 · answered by chandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there are you seeing anyone now. Would you like to. What I am trying to say is that your picture is kinda tight and ah I was just wondering. What your name is.
2007-07-15 20:50:32 · answer #8 · answered by ARM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I belive there is only one real person out there for you and I think you blow it but you have to keep trying to get him back if you love him hopefully he'll come back to you show him you love him
2007-07-12 21:41:03 · answer #9 · answered by SingerChick4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your position, I would write him if he is single and in the meantime keep my eyes open for someone special. Other than that, keep studying your music.
Good luck
2007-07-12 21:32:00 · answer #10 · answered by Nort 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋