I married a girl from Europe- why are some american women unhappy?

Question

I married a beautiful girl from Germany. I dated several American women ( i did not have physical relations with any of them), and just found that most of them did not value abstinance, and had alot of baggage ( I was in my mid-20 during this heavy dating time). I decided to go back to the old country and found a beautiful girl that shared my morals. Since I have married, I have met alot of other guys that made a decision to find a wife abroad ( in the Phillipines, Eastern Europe and Russia) because they feel American women have lost alot of the values that you look for in a wife. These guys are physically fit, and have great careers.
Alot of us have gotten flack from american women (including family members) who think we buy our wives ( they us the term mail-order bride). Nothing can be furthur from the truth. These are real people, with real feelings, and both of you have to choose one another. I would like to hear everyones feelings on this.

Answer 1

Its is good that you've seen the light, mate. While many American girls look good, they are morally bankrupt. Too much Paris Hilton and Brittney. I swear that all the reality shows are brainwashing them. I'm in LA as I'm typing this and I really do see too much materialism. I have friends that got wives from the Phillippines and they are very happy.

Answer 2

If what your saying is all true than you are more likely the exception to the rule. Many American men chase foreign women for their 'dated' values, compared to the modern woman in America, things like promiscuity or strong feeling of Independence perhaps an aversion to being a housewife.

Most often the men chasing after these foreign wives are looking for wife number two or three and seek out younger women when they are older themselves. American women don't want to lose out on any men that may be worth their time, financially secure or maybe the right age etc. Having your local men turning away from you to go overseas is not a good feeling for them. I think many men would feel that way if more women in America started seeking foreign men to marry or date versus doing that in their home country.

It really is not an epidemic so there is no need for American women to worry or even really care what some men do. But I think it is the fact that these men, yourself, included take such a drastic measure as to seek out your wife in another country. In a sense if you met them on line you have a 'mail order' bride because you got to pick and choose the ones you were interested in some detail before you met. If that is not the case than you simply met a woman abroad and married her.

It obviously has to be a two way street as no one can make a woman marry a man she does not want to, unless there is some form of coercion going on but for the sake of this discussion I'll say there is not, so you both decide to develop a relationship and either get married or not.

You should have gotten some idea from these women who gave you flack about this as to why it bothers them so much or at all.

Answer 3

It makes perfect sense to go looking for a wife in a place where you are more likely to find a woman who shares your values. While there still are some women here with more traditional values and morals, sadly many have bought into the culture of "freedom" that offers multiple sex partners, supposedly without consequence. Many also believe the myth that you can "have it all." Thinking they can go full force for a career, have a husband and family, and give nothing up. The truth is, every time we choose one thing, we give up something else.

I have met up with an interesting phenomenon while teaching college classes, though. In anonymous surveys, students usually describe themselves as having much more traditional values, and everyone else as being more sexually active. Out loud, they are embarrassed to say they haven't had sex, and on paper, each one thinks he or she is the only one not sleeping around. There are many more women in America with traditional morals and values than it might seem. Not everyone lives like the people on "Friends."

Answer 4

I'd have to say its because alot of teens now are rushing into relationships. If you dont date in high school you're a no one.. The first one to have sex in your grade to have sex is the top gal/guy... Theres also the media pressure. Theres alot of things that make american women different from overseas. Overseas women dont have the same every day pressures as American women and vice versa. Our world over here is based on sex drugs and.. hip hop?.... We're all about the partying and having a good time and by the time we're ready to settle we'd like to kick ourselves in the *** because we realize that those things that a guy would value in a wife are not the same things that guys a few years ago valued as a sex partner. We all have feelings, but welcome to the melting pot, who cares what people feel? I find that oversea's people tend to be more open and willing to talk about things, and yet here we're taught that as long as we keep our mouths shut we'll be just fine and as long as we pretend to be what a guy wants, it'll be all okay.... Now I'm not saying that everyone is like this, as there are a few of us out there that do value our virginity and that we do have morals and strength but there just aren't as many.

Answer 5

I know what you are saying about the values, but, I was in Germany for 2 yrs and many other parts of europe and these women were just as wild as american women. Lets just say me and my buddies ran through our share and it wasn't hard to get one. Thats why all guys you talk to who were in germany during their tour will tell you that its a single man's dream. So, i think you are way off with your assessment of morals. I think morals are nearly the same in europe and america.

Answer 6

Perhaps you and others were only drawn towards the type of women that cant be pleased . Those kind are in every society , just as there are women that are easy to please in the united states. I'm so glad that you found the right one for you. Now if i could find a man that will look in my eyes instead of at my chest ...oh well thats another story lol

Answer 7

The media is one of the main problems. They make women feel that if they aren't a size zero, and weigh less than they did in high school, they aren't pretty. And so begins the gathering of baggage. Then men are mean to them and sometimes drive this same negative self image even deeper into their psyche.

Answer 8

My ex was Chinese... She use to have a lot of values too, but after a while it catch us, as backfire does... And you know what, it did not work well...
I do not get along many women in my country, as I am SOOOO different from 99.999% of them all... They expect me to be like all the other mens they have met in their life, so after they learn to know me, they believe I am too good a guy for them...(sic)... Well if its true then I gonna wait a long time for the next one..

Answer 9

i dont know about american ladies nor do i like the term "mail order brides" --- i met my lady online and there was an instant rapport ---- we both fell in love --- yet honestly i was never looking for someone like her --- it just happened and she is from europe --- we have yet to meet and see if the feelings persist and i have no idea what my family will say but it does not matter our feelings are real and not motivated by lust

Answer 10

as an american women it's hard to say...but you're right...most of my friends don't value any moral of abstinance and just date like crazy...and they think that im weird for not doing the same.