He seems to looks at a lot of incest sites and old guys or old women with younger people and looks at it for hours if I'm not home. We are planning on getting married soon, and we are both christian, and it really bothers me that he does this. He says he is addicted to porn and doesn't know how to stop. It really hurts me on a personal level as well, since I am overweight and all the girls he looks at or searches for are skinny little things. He used to have movies but he threw most of them away (he did hide a few and buy a few more since then). When it was really bad, he would watch porn at least once a day but would only want sex once a week at most. I'm afraid it's getting back to that point, but I don't really know since he's only home every 2 weeks because of his new job.
2007-07-12 11:51:45 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
dump this guy! what kind of a christian would behave this way? call me crazy, but aren't christians supposed to have morals?! sorry, but he obviously is just a psycho perv and you deserve much better!
2007-07-12 11:56:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
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2016-07-19 10:00:03 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry Hun, I know how you feel, I too am actually "Addicted" to porn. But its not the porn that's addicting, its the chemical release that you feel in your brain. Its kinda like an antidepressant in a way. What to do about it? Well I know exactly what to do, up my sex life, make it more interesting, explore your fantasy's. I have a boyfriend now and he pleases me well and I look at porn less and less, I'm down to threeish times a week, I used to be more then once a day. Also I too AM christian and I know its wrong and my BF doesn't like it either. So we have been working together to make our sex life again MORE interesting and kinky. Now the whole leaving for two weeks for work. Well that reps a problem. You guys are not with each other enough to have a full sex life, yours is like a once in a while thing right? Well what you need to do is make the once in a while thing memorable, get some lingerie, when hes doing his thing make it more vocal(guys love that). Also find out what his weakness is and spark it. Hand cuff him to the bed and "show off". I know this might not sound appealing but I think once you try it you might like it. There are support groups but I wouldn't suggest it. Just up your sex life, get the endorphins rolling and everything will be OK.
2007-07-12 12:06:28 · answer #3 · answered by rainmaker8801 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The good news is that he's admitting he's addicted. The fact that he looks at questionable things like old guys or old women with younger people isn't too big of a deal. What's happened if he's been addicted in the past and addicted again, is that he's de-sensitized himself from your normal hardcore, hot woman/hot man porn. He can't get off on what he's seen over and over and over again. So, I wouldn't be too worried as far as that's concerned. But, obviously he's addicted and that's not good. You first step is going to be to get him help. Or just take away the computer as someone else suggested. It's extreme, but it may need to happen. Once he's gotten better here's my suggestion...porn is a pretty normal thing and depending on how strong your relationship is with the Lord, could be taboo, may not be. It sounds to me that in order to stay with him, you're going to need to understand that it's his struggle and do what you can to help. Sorry, I went off base. So, for the future, here's my suggestion. Go back to the videos and start watching with him. Make it a form of foreplay for the two of you that way he doesn't feel like he has to do it behind your back and you don't feel like he's doing anything without you. Don't get too self-conscience about the overweight thing. He's with you and planning to marry you. Just start enjoying with him and I bet it will change things!
Good luck!
2007-07-12 12:02:36 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is said that nearly ninety percent of the use of computers, is to access porn. If he is paying via credit card for porn, be careful, my friend did that once and for the next 4 months he had a debit on his card of $15 each month. He was severely embarrassed when his wife asked him about it, and the only solution was to cancel the card and get another. As to what to do. Sit there with him for a session and see what's going on, you might find it spices up your relationship to the point that he reduces porn visits over fun with you. The worst case is that he is a troubled man and will have a warped and distorted view of women from porn experience, and could be a risky partner prospect.
2016-05-21 00:30:34 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Looking at porn is not a bad thing.
2. If he's truly addicted and wants to stop, go to counseling.
3. You need counseling to get over your self-esteem issues. He's not comparing you to those women, why are you doing it?
4. Watch it with him.
5. Once a day is not exactly an addiction....24 hours a day is.
2007-07-12 11:54:58 · answer #6 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
um as far as the incest ones, does he have a hot sister? Otherwise the other stuff is natural.. Don't worry. Its natural for guys to like younger girls don't take it personal. Guys like to look, and fantasize. But its just that. Most guys check out the girls cuz they're girls they can never have! Its true. As far as the older girls, eww.. tell him that and the incest is nasty. Think of it like this: Guy are big dirty animals that think of sex all the time... Staring at girls on the streets makes you a perv, but checking out girls online in the comfort of your own towel makes it anonymis. Best way to fix his porn crave? ROLL PLAY TIME! Get some real sexy outfits. Get somewhat sexually explorative, spice things up! If you're dominating him in the bed, then he'll be too drained to look up porn(in more than one way:) Also another good tip: Let him know he's gonna get laid tonight! Nothing's worse than a fiance going to bed early, then you doing your thing, then going to bed and her wanting it.. it's like "damn.. i just finished.. if only I had know i'd get the real stuff!" :)
*Side note: I just want to note that only one guy has posted a response, and all he said was "thats wierd"- I just want to clearify that after that post he then went into a yahoo search for images containing the word "boobs".
*Second note: It's not about him not liking you... don't make this about him not wanting you, its a sex thing. You+more sex= less time to look up dirty dirty porn.
*Third note: Girl under me suggested "Take away his computer" DONT DO THIS, cuz next thing he does is take away you.. trust me..!
2007-07-12 12:00:50 · answer #7 · answered by york_m 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't get my started on religion, but it does sound like a real addiction. I'm not sure what you mean by "old guys or old women", old as in "mature" or old as in decrepit? That would be a bit weird.
It's normal to collect porn - I've got TONS and I know women who have got even more than I do - but it sounds like he needs to cut back on it some. I think he's having some emotional difficulties and it's easier and "safer" to fantasize over porn than to have sex.
He doesn't need to burn his collection but I'm sure he needs to confront his anxieties and tell you -or at least someone- about them
2007-07-12 12:04:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry dear, I'd say that there's just about nothing you'll be able to do or say that will change his habit(s).
The only thing you CAN do is search your soul for the strength to move on.
Or, alternatively, try participating with him while he's watching to see if there is any way you can help him detangle his mind from the fantasy world he enters.
To a degree it's similar to people who are addicted to video games in that they lose themselves in the escape. I know, my personal experience has led to a number of fights between my wife and I, because I used to be on-line playing Diablo2 for literally hours - and never notice the time passing. Then one day my wife sat down and asked me to teach her how to play.
That changed everything. She started playing, building characters, questing with other players from around the world, and suddenly my NEED to play dissipated. We now spend our time together, sometimes playing video games, sometimes watching movies (at the theatre of course), sometimes taking long walks at the beach, etc etc.
Depends on how much you love him, and to what lengths you're willing to go to be his best friend. Without wanting to seem crass, right now it seems his best friend is his computers DVD-ROM drive. That needs to change. He needs to find his way back to reality.
Good luck with this one...!
2007-07-12 12:05:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anthony B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
UMMM girl.. let me tell ya... all guys look at porn.. Its better they look at porn than cheat on you... We are thinking about sex all damn day... porn is normal... however... that old lady and incest porn is not cool... listen to that little voice in your head.... somethings not right.... the porn is okay, but the subject matter is a little strange.
2007-07-12 11:56:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This seems like it's going to be a real issue in your marriage if you decide to go ahead with it. It sounds like you are already self conscious with your own body and your boyfriend doing this is only going to drain any confidence you do have. You should see if he would possibly consider counseling before getting married. If not, I would think about if you want to live the rest of your life with someone like this.
You don't deserve to be with someone who doesn't respect your feelings.
2007-07-12 11:58:59 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋