Normally, I go to lunch with my co-workers.
One of my co-workers and I have been sent off-site for training. When lunch time comes around, we've been going to grab a bite together as we would if we were in the office. The only difference, in this case, is that the training location doesn't have a cafeteria so we have to go to local restaurants.
I am a male, and my co-worker is a female. We are both married.
Is it inappropriate to go to lunch together?
2007-07-12 10:52:36 · 15 answers · asked by Chris B 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
By "restaurants" I mean like a Burrito bar or a Sub (Hoagie/Hero) shop.
2007-07-12 10:58:06 · update #1
For the record: There is no attraction. My co-worker isn't "my type" so-to-speak. I'm sure the feeling is mutual. There is a significant age gap among other things.
2007-07-16 00:22:18 · update #2
It depends on your intentions. I don't see anything wrong with it. You both work for the same organization and are eating lunch together. Its not like its 10 at night and your at Red Lobster or something. Men and women can be friends and just that.
2007-07-12 15:22:20 · answer #1 · answered by jason j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the rest of the answers in that it is absolutely appropriate to go to lunch with your co-worker. In fact, I would go so far as to say that you don't even need to go out of your way to get it "approved" by your spouses. This is what happens in the world of business. People of different genders have lunch together.
I'm guessing you asked this question because you might find yourself attracted to your co-worker. I would say (at the risk of others disagreeing) that this is also okay. Humans are attracted to humans. That's perfectly natural. However, there is a line that must not be crossed, and I suspect you will know when you are getting close to that line. If that happens, then it's time to politely back away from the relationship.
One surefire way to make your friendship with this co-worker awkward is to tell her that your lunches together make you uncomfortable. It will embarass her, and in turn embarass you.
2007-07-12 13:11:50 · answer #2 · answered by Chris L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a good question, but I would say that so long as you both view it as 2 co-workers getting lunch like they usually do at the home office, then I don't see it as a problem.
If you fear you might be getting to know her just a tad too well, go separately, or call your wife and chat to her while you eat. You can explain to your co-worker that you are feeling a bit uncomfortable with it being just you two, that it feels slightly inappropriate.
2007-07-12 10:59:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would say, for good measure, tell your wife about it; not in a way that would concern her, but just bring it up in conversation so that she is aware of it. Women are far more suspicious when they find something out, and will generally pay no mind if they hear about it first hand (imagine one of your wife's friends seeing you two and mentioning it to her, then give her a week to imagine what bad things might be going on??)
But really, there is nothing wrong with two people of opposite genders having lunch together. It's completely acceptable in today's age.
But, different couples have different boundaries. My husband and I both have friends of the opposite gender, and my husband hugs his lady friends and my man friends will kiss me on the cheek in greeting, and we have no problem with it, but some couples I knoe wouldn't dream of it.
But really, it's totally fine as long as you two don't start hanging out a lot outside of work without your wife knowing or anything ridiculous like that. Lunching is perfectly fine and normal.
2007-07-15 19:20:23 · answer #4 · answered by milleresque 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It should be fine to have lunch with a co-worker even if you're both married. In fact it'd be insulting to assume just because you're male and she is female you can't even sit at the same table and have lunch without anything more happening; you're not animals and should have some control over your hormones!
2007-07-15 03:04:44 · answer #5 · answered by Sheriam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You'll know when it does become inappropriate.
Do start keeping secrets about how often you do this and your behavior? Does it take energy away from your relationship from your spouses? Do you behave with her the same way you would if your spouse was present?
2007-07-12 11:04:32 · answer #6 · answered by Buttercup 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If both of your spouses know and are okay with it then it's fine. It really doesn't matter what WE think is okay because at the end of the day you are with your spouse.
2007-07-12 11:09:49 · answer #7 · answered by Jenae, TV (tempter of the vile) 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it is fine to go to lunch together. Completely appropriate.
2007-07-12 12:29:33 · answer #8 · answered by Patti C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, this is perfectly fine.
Assuming, of course, you don't choose a romantic, out-of-the way place or talk about inappropriate topics.
2007-07-12 10:56:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not inappropriate. As long as it is just lunch.
2007-07-12 11:25:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anna Lynn 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋