My twin boys will be 7 in Oct and just finished K. One of them, Austin, is extremely mature for his age and above average when it comes to social and intellectual skills. My other son, Logan, is exactly the opposite. The cut off for school in our town is Dec 31, so the boys could have gone to 1st grade last year, but I didn't send them because Logan was no where near ready. But repeating K didn't help matters: Austin is more than ready for 1st grade again in Sept and Logan is not by any means. I've had him tested for numerous disabilities and issues, worked with him, hired a tutor, sent him to summer programs, but nothing has come up/ is getting him ready. They have a seperate class called "readyness" that I can put Logan in for the school yr that will help him in the skills/maturity department, but then the following yr he'll then go to 1st grade & Austin will go into 2nd. I can't keep holding Austin back if he's ready & I don't know what to do. Seperate them? Send Logan anyway?
2007-07-12 09:44:38 · 11 answers · asked by Emily M. 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Send them BOTH to the 1st grade. You held them back once, and that's enough. You're right, you shouldn't be holding back Austin any longer.
When it comes to twins, 99% of the time, there's one that more dominent than the other. Whether it be athletics or brains, there's usually one that's more advanced and ones that's either average or just below average. It sounds like Logan just really doesn't have an interest for school and learning and most likely enjoys the 1 on 1 attention he's getting because he's not be as successful as he can be. I am a teacher myself and have a degree in child development, and have seen a lot of these cases before. Logan is benifiting from Austin being so independent and being above the norm. He can do a lot more on his own needing you less, therefore your attention goes to Logan who "needs" it more.
Send both of the boys to the first grade and put them in seperate classes so they do not observe each other's progress in the classroom. Set up an award system in your own come Sept for getting good marks in school: maybe with a star chart or using coins. At the end of the week a certain amount of stars/coins can be traded it to stay up a little later, pick the restaurant to eat at, pick a movie, play a little longer on the computer etc. When Logan sees Austin being rewarded for his grades, he'll want to step it up. This is when you truly find out if he's really struggling or if he was simply acting the way he is to get attention. You can then work from that point: hiring a tutor, extra help and seeing doctors or encouraging your son to the do the best that he can and not worry about his brother.
Do not discuss this with your boys. This isn't a matter that should be delt with with the opinions of 6yrs. Send them both.
Best wishes =]
2007-07-12 10:02:04 · answer #1 · answered by Sam 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
You should send them both to the first grade, because if they repeat again they will be 8 years old in grade 1 & people would probably pick on them. It also wouldn't be fair to the child that is ready to have to repeat, it would be boring for him. You really can't split them up either, because when one brother thinks he is smarter then the other brother he will never let it go. Just put them together in the 1st grade & talk to the school about extra help & special needs classes to help him get on track with everyone else.
2007-07-12 19:30:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I met a lady who put her twins into seperate classes. It taught them individuality. I would send them seperately. If Logan seems to have a hard time with it, give him an extra-curricular activity. In other words, let him excell in something else while Austin excells in that grade of school. Good Luck!
2007-07-12 17:18:20 · answer #3 · answered by Gleebicus 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should separate them and do whats best for each of them individually. If Austin is ready, send him on, and keep Logan back if he's not. If you're worried about teasing, or issues later on with kids/people wondering why one twin is ahead of the other... another option (if you can afford it) is to have them in separate schools, maybe send one to private. But either way, you need to do whats best for both of them, individually.
I understand your predicament in a different form.... my son has PDD NOS, and is not ready to start kindergarten when he should, so we're keeping him back a year. Problem is, my daughter is only 13 months younger - so that means they will both be in the same grade, even though they're a year apart. I admit, I debated keeping my daughter back as well, I was worried about teasing/social issues... but I can't do that to her, she's ready, its not fair for her to be affected by my son's issues. I'm hoping to just keep them in separate classes and we'll take it as it comes. We are also debating maybe sending her to private school. We'll play it by ear as we go along.
Good luck!
2007-07-12 17:05:45 · answer #4 · answered by Mom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the school will accept them, send them both to first grade now but put them in different classes.
My friend has seven year old twin boys also. They started school two years ago, in the same class. They ended up repeating that grade last year, as neither of them were doing well. Their school would have kept one of them down this year as well, and had them in the same grade (composite class) again, however my friend moved to the country and moved in with me. Her boys now go to my children's school.
This new school did not want to repeat the less mature twin again, so they both moved up. Big difference though, they were placed in seperate classes. It has made a tremendous difference to the less mature twin. He has grown immeasurably in maturity, confidence, concentration and responsibility since being seperated from his brother. Just having the space to develop his own personality away from his more outgoing brother has done wonders for him. He will be more than ready to move up again next year.
So yes, I vote for seperate them and send them both.
2007-07-12 17:04:05 · answer #5 · answered by KooriGirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's just first grade. Don't stress over it. My brothers (twins) were held back in first grade due to one failing. They knew that one was the cause, but didn't know which one, and they are both in competetion with each other for the rest of their lives, or at least they still are, they are 25 now. What do you do? Keep them both back together? They will eventually find out. Or let one go and keep the other back and risk it? You're decision.
2007-07-12 16:55:41 · answer #6 · answered by jdecorse25 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
send them both to 1st grade, but have them in seperate classes. Teachers will compare one against the other and treat the more challenging one different. He will come around, some kids just take longer. Keep persuing the testing though, some kids take longer to diagnose than others.
2007-07-12 16:52:43 · answer #7 · answered by parental unit 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Definitely don't hold back Austin anymore. Twins are not a package deal (as you have already learned) and they need to be treated as individuals. I'd say treat them the same as you would treat them if they were siblings of different ages.
2007-07-12 16:57:42 · answer #8 · answered by MissM 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Send the one that is ready on to first grade and keep the other one held back.
2007-07-12 19:06:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would send them BOTH to 1st grade.
2007-07-12 16:48:10 · answer #10 · answered by phamy76 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋