I have an Aunt who is full of hatred and is envious of quite a few other family members. She degrades me to other family members who then turn around and tell me, and then she denies it. She is obviously unhappy with her life, and wants to make everyone else unhappy too. Hence the term "Misery Loves Company". I stopped speaking to her for about 9 months, and then began talking with her again about a week ago, and she's back to the same undermining schemes and rudeness is even worse than before. I ask her what her problem is, and she says there is none, and then I inquire what did I do to ever hurt her, and she says nothing, and acts like everything she is doing is acceptable. I think she has a split personality disorder, but I am personally fed up with her talking about me behind my back, to other family members about things that only exist in her mind. I'm just wanting to know if anyone else out there went through something like this, and what they did to handle the situation.
2007-07-12 08:09:13 · 21 answers · asked by momof3anglz 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Beong polite to rude people doesnt work. To get their attention you have to be rude in their face for them to get the message. She is a bully. The best thing you can do for yourself is to remove yourself from her presence. Go back to not having anything to do with her. She just isnt worth dealing with all her crap. She will eventually exhaust you.
2007-07-12 08:14:51 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the one great thing about this aunt is that what you do doesn't personally affect her so if you choose to deal with her is completely on you. You've pretty much done all you can do, you've confronted her and asked where the problem started and if you did anything to cause her behavior. She sounds like she is just plain jealous of your life and your accomplishments, maybe you did something she wanted to do at your age and she's jealous that she could have been where you are. If I were you I'd just end that negative relationship. Your family knows how you are and probably feels she is just making up stuff for attention. Good luck.
2007-07-12 08:16:42 · answer #2 · answered by Lil_MissVal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found it best to tell my other family members I was not interested in hearing what she had to say. They are not helping by listening to her and running back to you repeating what she said. If all family members would tell her that are not interested in hearing her bad mouth or speak behind any ones back. This would stop. Instead they feed into this behavior and it continues. Had this with my mother in law. She would bad mouth her son to me then lie and tell him I said something I did not say. Next time she started I called him into the room and said your mother has an issue with you and think you both should talk it out. Once she realized she could not play both ends against the middle she stopped with us. Good Luck. Instead of being angry feel sorry for her as she has nothing better to do.
2007-07-12 08:27:09 · answer #3 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, it's important that you not reveal anything personal that she could use to create problems for you. Only talk about things in a 'superficial' sense. If she gives you unsolicited advise or ask questions that are none of her business you could try saying....I appreciate your concern, but my husband and I can handle that all by ourselves. She doesn't sound like the type that can take a hint, but if you keep repeating the same thing she may eventually quit asking nosy questions. And by the way, everyone has a relative like your aunt.
2007-07-12 08:14:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand completely. I get those same emails and I wonder to myself how on earth such a smart or educated person could possibly believe what they are reading. I offer a couple lines of defense, at which point you will have to sit back and ignore the emails. :) First, perhaps they don't know about snopes. Send out your own "informative email" to all your frequent fwd friends and family telling them about this great website. You just *knew* they would want to know about it because they are so interested in informational and helpful emails. Second, you can send out a bulk email informing your friends & family that due to an increase in messages, and not enough space in your account, you are going to be putting a block on messages with FWD, fwd, FW, fw, or forward in the subject bar. Then do it. Mine all go straight to my junk mail box. I can go there if I have free time, but don't have to see them otherwise. If something is really important, they will remember to take time to "clean it up" before just hitting the fwd button. After all that, if you are still getting messages, you just have to let it go. Having you regularly point out their lack of judgment and discernment will only make them feel badly. Take a deep breath and hit delete. :) Good luck!
2016-05-20 22:55:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she's in denial that she is an instigator of trouble, then I'd stop with the inquiries of her rantings, and just avoid her as much as possible. I'd ask those family members who pass along her degrading comments to stop- just advise them " I know Aunt Marion has issues with just about everyone and everything, but discussing them is unproductive, so I'd rather not hear what she has to say". If these relatives know she's a bit of a pyscho, it makes me wonder why they repeat her rants, but that's another issue I guess.
2007-07-12 08:24:28 · answer #6 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your aunt is probably hateful and envious because there are things she doesn't like about HERSELF.. In order to avoid her OWN PROBLEMS, she puts other people down.
yes, you're right, she is unhappy with her life.
she probably doesn't have a split personality disorder. instead she's just angry, bitter and probably thinks her behavior is "normal".
my best advice is to ignore her and try to change the subject. talk about things normal people discuss.... if she doesn't like it, oh well... !
YOU know what kind of person you are, and so do your friends and others you associate with. if your aunt makes up stories about you and others, well... don't feel badly! You're probably not her only victim.
also, it would probably be good for you to avoid her as much as possible. it's sad your aunt has to resort to gossip and negativity to get attention.
take care.
2007-07-12 08:20:00 · answer #7 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like youve already told her to back off politely, there's nothing you can do now if she annoys you that much just stay away. or be more straight up, tell her you are fed up with her talking about everyone behind their backs. this might strike some people as rude, but its not, its the truth. and if that doesnt stop her, you've done what you can. i'm sure you still love her, being family, but you can still love her from afar!
good luck
2007-07-12 08:15:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
my aunt was doing something similar and I just stopped being around her. Never visited her or did anything with her. After almost a year I thought I'd give her another chance and that worked, she was totally different, accepting and kind. It was great, our relationship now is very good. Good luck to you, if she won't change then stop seeing her, talking to her, etc.
2007-07-12 08:31:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey! Rude Family Member! ...Back Off!
2007-07-12 08:11:38 · answer #10 · answered by B_Wreck 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋