Me and boyfriend have been going out 6 months and im thinking about having sex with him (I'm a virgin but he isn't, he hasn't asked or pressured me or anything and were 18). We both love each and have an amazing relationship, but im wondering, i want to ask him to get tested for STD's and maybe HIV before hand or just use condoms in the meantime because i don't like the idea of using condoms really (i'm also on the pill) but i don't know how to go about asking him. How should i word it to him because i don't want him to take offence or anything? It's not that i don't trust him or anything i'll just feel really paranoid after if i didn't ask! How would you guys feel if your bf/gf asked you to get tested?
Ps- we're both quite shy.
Thanks everyone for your help in advance!
2007-07-12 08:07:52 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just lay it out on the line for him. Tell him that you want him to get tested or else you won't be having sex. Any moron wouldn't get tested if he heard this.
2007-07-12 08:11:30 · answer #1 · answered by scoobydoo316316 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say "I love you and I want to have sex with you. I am on the pill and don't want to use condoms. Since I know you have had sex before, it would mean a lot to me if you would get tested for STDs. It may seem like I'm paranoid, but it would make me feel so much more comfortable if you would get tested." Offer to go with him to have it done.
I don't think I would be offended if my boyfriend asked me to get tested if he asked in a nice way. I made sure to discuss the issue with the guy I am seeing now.
It is smart to ask him to do this. If he is smart he will realize that.
2007-07-12 08:27:43 · answer #2 · answered by Alli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now with the way that things are going on in the world today, that is the first thing to ask before getting into a relationship and sleeping with one another. If my boyfriend asked me, I would ask him what took so long if I hadn't asked him already. And asking someone to get tested has nothing to do with trusting a person, it is about your health and you staying protected. Now if you both love each other and have a strong connection you should be able to come out and talk about it. And six months in my opinion is too long to have not talked about this already. Maybe you can try and do some research and print out a couple of things about STDs and tell him you want to talk about it.
2007-07-12 08:16:34 · answer #3 · answered by brownssugar03 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First.....how do you know that you don't like the idea of using a condom if you've never used one??????
Then that is a very smart idea to have the test done in the first place, and if he refuses don't do it....but even still be smart and use protection.....even the best plan can get you in trouble and the worst that can happen isn't a baby, there are things out there that can be transmitted that you don't even want to know about. I wouldn't be offended if I was asked to get tested.....its not what you say its how you say it. So if you have really thought this sex things through...have fun...
2007-07-12 08:22:58 · answer #4 · answered by femmefatale_2804 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would print out something from online that relates to testing for both STD's and HIV. Also, have the facts about not being able to have any signs even if you do have one because his 1st response will be "I would know if I had a STD or HIV". As he comes around you next time have this paper ready and put it on the table beside him or hand it to him with a note saying "for you and I please go get tested-I will go with you" and this will take care of the problem of having to explain things to him.
2007-07-12 08:12:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are ready to become sexually intimate with your boyfriend, then you are ready to have an open discussion about STD's. Be direct & straightforward in your approach. Tell him that you are concerned about diseases that neither of you may be aware that you have and that you are also willing to be tested. If you aren't sexually active yet, now is the time to talk with your doctor about the new HPV vaccine for cervical cancer. Men are carriers of the virus, but can't be tested for it. It's safe to assume that he's been exposed if he has been sexually active in the past. When considering a sexual relationship, it's no time to be shy. I would think a potential sexual partner was responsible and cautious if they wanted to discuss getting tested before engaging in sex. But if you enjoy the relationship as it is now, you may want to consider the benefits of waiting even longer. Sex changes the dynamics of a relationship and intimacy is about so much more than sex. Good Luck
2007-07-12 08:20:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get tested! AND use a condom. The pill is not 100% and at 18 I don't think you want a child. If you still don't want to use a condom, at least get tested before you have sex. Good for you for thinking ahead. Most people just act before they think about sex. You are a smart girl.
2007-07-12 08:14:05 · answer #7 · answered by Joe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he truly loves you- When you ask him to get the tests for you just for your personal knowledge he shouldn't fight you and he'll get them.... When you let him know that you dont want to use condoms and you want the security just because you know he's been with others-- You'll be ok! He'll take them for you! Good Luck! and Congrats on keeping a 18 yr old for 6 months without wanting sex! LOL
2007-07-12 08:12:00 · answer #8 · answered by 04/12/2008 :) 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pills dont stop you from burning when you pee.
always use condoms and he shuld be tested anyway for stds.
you may trust him but do you trust that line of people that have slept him. I would not mind a girlfriend asking me because i we care about each other and just want to be safe.
2007-07-12 08:14:39 · answer #9 · answered by igotrings 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He could have something and not know it. The big problem is HPV. It causes cancer in women when you're older sometimes. You absolutely have to use condoms until he is tested. It could mean your life if you don't. Check out web sites on STD and show him the consequences... especially where the male has something and doesn't know it.
2007-07-12 08:10:53 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
protecting your body should be first priority to you. aids kills and there are other diseases that can kill,or there's no cure. definately use a condom!!!!!!!!!! if he loves you..then why wouldn't he want to prove to you he's clean??? just to make him feel better about it you could offer to go get tested yourself too.you do know that aids can take 5 years to show positive? you do know that your age group has a higher rate for contracting aids?my addvice NEVER
2007-07-12 08:20:42
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answer #11
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answered by Anonymous
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