I brought home two baby bunnies a few days ago. I knew I couldn't keep both, but figured I could give one up and keep one. I work for a local pet store as mangement so I make good money and get a discount on supplies. I am also the one who would be caring for it. His response was to find homes for both and then tell me to bring them to his job, so his coworkers could each take one. He then informed me that there ould be NO more animals in this house. I mean my stand point is it's my house to (or so I thought.) What would you do?
2007-07-12 08:01:24 · 11 answers · asked by Diana 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well, it's your house, but it's his, too. Still, his absolute ban seems a bit draconian. Can you get him talking about what his specific objections are, and how you might be able to have one or more pets without bothering him? I mean, you work in a pet store, so he must know you are interested in animals. It's not like this came as some sort of surprise to him.
On the other hand, I see his point of view to some extent myself. I love cats and kittens are adorable, but after living for two months with a family that had three cats (nice ones, but that's not the point), I have decided not to have a cat in my own apartment. I love the freedom of living alone, and not having things change while I am away from home. I got real tired of cat hair and the smell of unchanged kitty litter, and frankly, I do not enjoy changing litter boxes. On the other hand, I do not like pets that must be kept in cages, such as birds or rodents. Call me selfish if you like, but I've decided not to live with a pet.
If it really is a house, and not an apartment, what about a pet who would be outside or in a shed or garage or something? I should think bunnies would fall in that category, but perhaps not. It seems the only really sensible thing is to try to find some common ground with your other half on this. If the answer continues to be no, a thousand times no, I wonder if he is really sort of unreasonble in other ways as well.
2007-07-12 10:53:38 · answer #1 · answered by auntb93 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depends on what my priorities are. If I understand that I could change other halves like I change pets, then I wont feel too bad. But if my relationship with him is cherished and I expect to nurture and grow it, then I'd be hurt.
I'd try to sound him out and get at what's eating him after a few days. During this time I'd be mulling, and praying over it. Then on a morning when he is feeling fresh and relaxed I'd ask him with much love and plainness if he thinks I and my pets are disturbing him. I would try to identify what the problem is without losing my temper myself and descending to his level of emotions. Apart from this I would make an extra effort to do things he would appreciate me for. This is not to soften him but to make a positive statement about the value I place on our relationship.
Marriage is Hard Work but it always pays.
Maybe if I understand him we could come to some sort of compromise.
The way I see it, you love animals and love him too. He could grow hopefully, to appreciate, and/or accept you and 'your' animals.
You have to assume that he loves you too but has to gradually learn to accept you and your 'idiosyncrasies' if you don't mind. Many couples learn that going that extra mile more often than not is like putting more and more money in the emotional bank of the other. And it pays well in the near future. This has been my experience.
All the best.
2007-07-12 08:38:31 · answer #2 · answered by eleduh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, you don't say how long he's been your other half, but normally people find out about stuff like this before they move in together. Has he always been like this or has he changed? If he's changed, what is the reason? But I personally would A) NEVER tell my wife she can't bring home an animal, and B) if I hated pets and she didn't, we would have found that out while we were dating and not moved in together. Not only pets, but this seems to be a warning shot that he's going to be equally inflexible and controlling about other issues as well. I'd start looking to get out.
2007-07-12 08:09:16 · answer #3 · answered by Jim C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean by "no MORE animals?" You didn't mention whether there were other animals in the house -
And he's just angry right now because you didn't consult him before bringing home the bunnies.
Wait a while before getting a pet.
2007-07-12 08:05:33 · answer #4 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why didn't you marry someone who likes animals if you knew you liked them so much? that is a shame pets can bring so much fun into a life and they reduce stress! sounds like you just live in his house and are not really an equal partner? I would not stand for this type of treatment, your not a kid, and what will he not allow you to have next!
2007-07-12 08:22:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your not married decide now if you want a daddy as your mate or an equal partner. You say it is your house, so act like it. Tell him the bunny stays. The way I see it he is treating you like he is your father and you are his child.
2007-07-12 08:08:39 · answer #6 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that you are going through this. Sit down and discuss with him how you feel. Decisions should be made by both you and him if he continues to control everything I would suggest counseling. God tells us to work together in relationships he does not tell us to be doormats. Seek counseling on communications and respect. If he wont go, you go it will help
2007-07-12 08:07:12 · answer #7 · answered by Monique S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand your ground or he will always walk all over you. It is your house to and this thing is 50/50 not what he says goes. Don't let him break you down!!! This is little then it will become bigger things and next thing you know he has taken your self esteem from you!!! Good luck!!
2007-07-12 08:06:49 · answer #8 · answered by fmadison3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring home two more bunnies and get rid of him!
2007-07-12 08:07:56 · answer #9 · answered by Scooter 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hurt, but I will submit to him. He is more important than any animal.
2007-07-12 08:09:30 · answer #10 · answered by g2hn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋